thebody Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I'm pretty sure just about every red blooded male has watched or still watches porn to assist in masturbation. Even some women, but probably not the majority here. Now... there's a thread on here that kind of bugged me, and I just want to get some peoples real feelings on this. I want REAL feelings on it, not some half baked attempt to make somebody else feel better. You're on the internet. If you watch porn to masturbate, don't be a stinkin' hypocrite and talk down on it. This thread was generated due to another thread on here about a porn addiction. To start, my feelings on the issue: I watch porn to masturbate sometimes when I'm not getting sex. I usually feel the need to have sex twice a day, but can withhold masturbation for up to a week before I go a little crazy. A few of my ex's took issue with porn, and felt I was "addicted" or I would rather have sex with porn than them. The real issue was that I wasn't getting it enough from them, so I needed some form of release. They refused to see that as the real issue, however because it would place some partial blame on them... couldn't have that, right? The porn industry in general is a pretty loathsome thing... they take advantage of people's situations and usually condone drug use. It also more than likely produces some sexual dysfunctions such as pedophilia, necrophilia, and some other more deplorable sexual deviancy. So.. I have mixed feelings about it. It's sort of like knowing that gasoline is destroying the earth but using it anyway because I just gotta get to work. Is watching porn really a problem, though? I mean c'mon ladies... If you aren't giving out the goodies as much as we'd like what choices do we have? cheating? OH but that's bad too. pfffft.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 It's not a problem as long as you go to your lady first. Id much rather my guy come to me when hes in the mood. But, if im asleep, away or not in the mood he can do as he wishes. As long as he'd pick me over it anytime, then im not threatened. Most of the time id be down for loving anyway.
Author thebody Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 It's not a problem as long as you go to your lady first. Id much rather my guy come to me when hes in the mood. But, if im asleep, away or not in the mood he can do as he wishes. As long as he'd pick me over it anytime, then im not threatened. Most of the time id be down for loving anyway. You're a unicorn... you don't really exist. Hahaha seriously though, you play video games and like to have sex constantly... totally mythical. Anyway... That's what I'm saying. Obviously sex would be the first choice. Who would chose a hand over vagina? Not this guy.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 You're a unicorn... you don't really exist. Hahaha seriously though, you play video games and like to have sex constantly... totally mythical. Anyway... That's what I'm saying. Obviously sex would be the first choice. Who would chose a hand over vagina? Not this guy. I'm magical, no doubt. I have a pretty high drive, as long as my emotional needs are being met too, i'm full game. If you've been around the sexual health boards, I made a topic mentioning how someone prefered porn women over real women. Was a shocker to me, but it happens.
Author thebody Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I'm magical, no doubt. I have a pretty high drive, as long as my emotional needs are being met too, i'm full game. If you've been around the sexual health boards, I made a topic mentioning how someone prefered porn women over real women. Was a shocker to me, but it happens. So there's another topic.. emotional needs being met. So when you say that... The gentleman would need to do what? Are we talking constant romantic gestures and gifts? I had a girl that blamed not wanting it on my low romantic output. I don't mean to make this thread all about me, either... I'm hoping to help some people out here... maybe a husband can show his wife this thread so she can stop being threatened by him watching porn every now and again.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 So there's another topic.. emotional needs being met. So when you say that... The gentleman would need to do what? Are we talking constant romantic gestures and gifts? I had a girl that blamed not wanting it on my low romantic output. I don't mean to make this thread all about me, either... I'm hoping to help some people out here... maybe a husband can show his wife this thread so she can stop being threatened by him watching porn every now and again. No, not at all. I never expect romantic gestures, they are nice though. I'm very easy to please, I'm happy just going outside laying in the grass and looking at the clouds. Give me a ballon and I'm smiley like a little girl. What I mean is that we connect on other levels, not just sexual. I like to feel secure and safe within a relationship. I like to be able to go out and have a good time and be able to have deep conversations too. Long as that connection is there, then they won't be able to take me off em'
Eeyore79 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Is watching porn really a problem, though? I'm female, and I don't see why watching porn is a problem. Sometimes you just fancy having a quick one without the need to spend time and effort pleasing someone else too - you just want the O, not the social interaction. As long as it doesn't reduce the frequency of actual sex then I don't see why it's an issue.
Author thebody Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I'm female, and I don't see why watching porn is a problem. Sometimes you just fancy having a quick one without the need to spend time and effort pleasing someone else too - you just want the O, not the social interaction. As long as it doesn't reduce the frequency of actual sex then I don't see why it's an issue. I agree entirely, and thank you for the candid answer. Sexual needs are pretty simple, yet we complicate it so much in our heads for some reason. I'm thinking that if two people have widely differing views on porn, or even masturbation that they may be incompatible. I'm only saying this because I've had such heated arguments about it that I feel it really added to the breakup, if not helped bring it on.
thatdog Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I think one of the issues is that men and women often have such massively differing sex drives. Women get upset about their man using porn, and say its because he chooses it over her. In some cases I think that is correct. Not because they prefer porn, but because they know porn is there for them when they need it. If you try to initiate sex twice a day and you partner accepts your advances twice a week, it becomes easy to get discouraged and form the POV that it might not be worth the trouble to bother your gf/wife since you know from habit that she's in the mood only in certain specific situations/times and any other time you have maybe a 1/100 shot. So you do the 'considerate' thing and leave her alone. Then of course that 1% occurs and she gets upset because you chose porn over her and she went unfulfilled. I'm not saying this is common but I have actually been in this situation once before (she went to bed early after a 12 hr shift and she's never in the mood when she's that tired). So maybe it is one reason why these 'misunderstandings' occur. The number of women on here that complained about porn being chosen over them seems way too high to be realistic.
Author thebody Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Isn't that a good thing? If I was in a relationship I would use porn every day and only initiate sex once a week, that is for the womans own good. Even 1 time per week is probably pushing it for most women, maybe 1 time every other week is more appropriate. I wouldn't want to make the woman feel bad. Sadly, I believe this is closer to the reality of a modern relationship. Love those first few months of a new lover though... every friggin time we see each other its like 3 or 4 times and just waste a whole day in bed. it all fades away... sigh.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Isn't that a good thing? If I was in a relationship I would use porn every day and only initiate sex once a week, that is for the womans own good. Even 1 time per week is probably pushing it for most women, maybe 1 time every other week is more appropriate. I wouldn't want to make the woman feel bad. Good luck keeping a woman who has a high drive at that rate.
Author thebody Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I think one of the issues is that men and women often have such massively differing sex drives. Women get upset about their man using porn, and say its because he chooses it over her. In some cases I think that is correct. Not because they prefer porn, but because they know porn is there for them when they need it. If you try to initiate sex twice a day and you partner accepts your advances twice a week, it becomes easy to get discouraged and form the POV that it might not be worth the trouble to bother your gf/wife since you know from habit that she's in the mood only in certain specific situations/times and any other time you have maybe a 1/100 shot. So you do the 'considerate' thing and leave her alone. Then of course that 1% occurs and she gets upset because you chose porn over her and she went unfulfilled. I'm not saying this is common but I have actually been in this situation once before (she went to bed early after a 12 hr shift and she's never in the mood when she's that tired). So maybe it is one reason why these 'misunderstandings' occur. The number of women on here that complained about porn being chosen over them seems way too high to be realistic. agreed. sexual miscommunication happens rather frequently. I had a sex talk with a previous girlfriend and she whined and complained about having the conversation the entire time. Like I was inconveniencing her for talking about sex. GRRR women. never gettin married again seriously. Good luck keeping a woman who has a high drive at that rate. As soon as we all find one, we'll let you know you lost a unicorn from your herd.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 agreed. As soon as we all find one, we'll let you know you lost a unicorn from your herd. Make sure to return my beloved uni to safety! But seriously, I have been with my guy for 5+ years and we still are active. Often he is the one pushing me off because he's too tired. There are many women with high drives.
thatdog Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Make sure to return my beloved uni to safety! But seriously, I have been with my guy for 5+ years and we still are active. Often he is the one pushing me off because he's too tired. There are many women with high drives. Really? Many? In my life so far I've found two. and both of them did a very good job of showing off the merits of HIMYM's 'Crazy/Hot' scale Aha! maybe that's it. Rinniz isn't a unicorn she's a succubus.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Aha! maybe that's it. Rinniz isn't a unicorn she's a succubus. Don't be giving off my dark secrets now... And yes many.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Attractive women such as yourself do not like sex. Only unattractive women like sex and have high sex drives. Im surprised to get a compliment out of you. Well thank you! But, sorry, your wrong. Quite the opposite with me. Intimacy is important to me, this includes sex as often as possible. Daily is what I aim for. I know there are other women on LS who feel the same!
ASG Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 (edited) Im surprised to get a compliment out of you. Well thank you! But, sorry, your wrong. Quite the opposite with me. Intimacy is important to me, this includes sex as often as possible. Daily is what I aim for. I know there are other women on LS who feel the same! Yeap! One of the many reasons my ex and I did work was because of significantly different sex drives. I was getting sexually frustrated that he only seemed interested about once a week. I, on the other hand, was ready for it in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening.. every single day! I think I would have been happy with 3/4 times a week, but just one? It was doing my head in and turning up a lot of insecurities (was it me? was he not that into me anymore? - it wasn't, it was his low sex drive due to weight problems, but it still did my head in and we talked about it often) On topic... I don't mind porn at all. I watch it to get off regularly. I don't mind if my SO is watching it, but I need to be a priority. Edited May 2, 2011 by ASG
Scottdmw Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I wonder if you really need sex as often as you think you do? From what you said you typically try to do twice a day, but can go up to a week without “going crazy”. The question becomes, when you're doing the twice a day is it really for the physical release or are you looking for an emotional upper? On a slightly different but related subject, a lot of times I find myself logging onto the computer and just doing things like checking Facebook and e-mail more often than could possibly be considered useful. What I've realized is when something gives you an easy good feeling it becomes mildly addictive or at least habit-forming. If you're bored, feeling a little down, don't feel like doing your work, or whatever, you go to that for the easy high. I wonder if porn serves a similar purpose for you. Certainly, that kind of thing is not as serious a danger as the true addictions to porn that you often see, cases where it's clear to a man that he is destroying his marriage and/or family and wants to stop but can't. But, for your own sake I wonder if there isn't maybe a better use of the time? That kind of quick pick-me-up is an easy way to feel good, but I suspect it's not very lasting which is why you do it over and over. On the other hand, if you do something more useful like accomplish some work or something, it leads to a longer lasting feeling of satisfaction. You could be spending that time interacting with a real human being who might or might not give you a high, but if they do it's more meaningful and real. Might be a better way to spend some of that time. Scott
nyc_guy2003 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I generally find that there is a high correlation between self-esteem and being in the mood. Over the winter I put on a few pounds, was feeling pretty blah, and was in an overall not great mood. As a result we were not having sex as regularly as usual. Come spring time I have gotten back in shape, 6-pack abs and everything and people are always complimenting me on my looks now. In addition I have made it a point to quite often compliment my wife on how she looks too. As a result we are back to a regular almost daily schedule. I would say that's pretty good for a 7-year relationship.
EmmaLou Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I started watching porn when I found my brothers secret stash under the coffee table.. I used to look forward to getting back from school and watching it before everyone else got home. It felt naughty... Since then I've watched it regularly, both in my relationship and when I was single.. especially since free streaming sites are so easy to access. I watch it because it turns me on and helps me masturbate.. When my boyfriend comes in the bedroom and sees me with my headphones on he knows what I'm upto hehe... So I definitely don't see the harm in it, as long as it doesn't become an addiction. I much prefer sex over porn but I still enjoy it. I don't think men realise how many women enjoy it... But maybe the ones who don't, shout the loudest.
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