One Full week of NC I can't believe he didn't contact me

[MyHeartHurtsOuch]

We lived together for a year and a half...moved from TX to AZ together. our relationship had stress cause we were both stressed out. we both made mistakes and had poor boundaries with one another. no cheating, but he does have a history of loving attention from women

 

We broke up 2 months ago but still remained in contact-big time...no sex but still hung out, texted, even slept in same bad on rare occasion. So it was pretty much a 2 month long break up. He wanted to date me and other girls...I said no if we do this again it has to be JUST me and a genuine try at us...not other girls involved. he said he's not ready, doesn't feel enough, and cant get back into a full on relationship again. he said he doesnt think i can take it slow and that it will just go back to what we had before.

 

SO i printed out pages articles, etc of where it literally says NC with your ex is best because if not he will string you along, all you're doing is setting yourself up for hurt, etc. And he finally understood why i couldn't just remain in contact with him without a commitment.

 

So that was last sunday....this part is stupid but i told him that if he can choose me. the new me, starting fresh that I will wait for him at barnes and noble at 5:55 (5 is his favorite number I dunno its stupid i know) and Barnes and Noble is where we first met...

so he texted me at 5:30 and said please don't go to barnes and noble don't do this to yourself. we don't have enough in common, we're not compatible and if we were to try this again it would only be too much sacrificing that we did in the long run...and i said i still have to do...i believe in us and that i know we are worth a second shot and needless to say he never showed and we haven't contacted since.

 

I honestly didnt think he would go a week without texting. but he did promise me he wouldn't and he promised a friend of mine (who is a lawyer and made it her business to get involved-sucks i know) and so he hasn't contacted.

 

I miss him and have cried every single day. I don't allow myself to fantasize that he will come back to me...but i do look at my phone first thing in the morning, and look at my car or my front door to see if he left anything there....nothing.

 

I'm so miserable. I'm trying to do what i can to move on but its hard. I don't even know what all i can actually do. i don't contact him, dont look at his facebook, dont drive by his new fancy apt, i dont do anything like look at pics or etc.

 

I miss him and i cant help but regret so much. everytime i go out now with the friends i have made since the break up i just wish he were there and i miss all the things we never got to do.

 

i'm so ****ing sad. and i cant help but think he's out there living it up, happy, maybe dating a new girl already and feels good cause he no longer has to feel guilty as he did during our break up.

[donelly1]

It is really difficult. I am also dealing with the same thing. My gf of almost 2 years broke up with me awhile ago. I am now on week 4 of NC and although I know I need to move on I also cant help but check my phone and email everyday hoping to hear from her.

 

Its a crazy feeling knowing that someone you spent so much time with and even lived together with doesnt talk to you even though you told them not to. There are all kinds of thoughts that run through my head everyday which you probably have too like "has she moved on so quickly? Does she ever think about me? Does she have someone else already?"

 

Its best to stay busy but there are always moments when these thoughts will enter your head. Last night I had a few dreams about my ex and one of which she was with her new bf. It Sucks!! From what I have seen in these forums though with time it will get better. There really isnt any magical type thing you can do to get over it and it seems like it is just something we have to go through.

 

Just know that there are others out there like you including myself and many on this forum that are going through or have gone through that excruciating pain. So you are not alone in that sense.

[MyHeartHurtsOuch]

Yeah I know I'm not alone in this mess...and It sucks that it's just something we have to go through. when does it get better? I had a dream about him last night that we were back in bed and all was fine..and then my heart was shattered when i woke up and realized it was just a dream...i miss him so much. i can't understand how someone can fall out of love. i can't help but think okay maybe he just need sto give it another week before he contacts me...but i guess this is it. a real break up. when does it feel better?

[VJohnson32]

Speaking from a personal experience and it does get better. You just have to follow the "doctor's orders" to get better. Think of it as a sickness you have and you need to follow strict rules to get better quicker.

Which is avoid the "sickness" that would be your ex by any means, do not answer or initiate phone calls or texts. Every urge you get is a bacteria which affect your healing process, the more urges/temptations you defeat the better you feel and get with each day. Now nostalgia and anxiety will definitely follow after a certain point of NC, however this can be overcome by many ways. Talking to friends and family about how you feel and what you are going through will definitely relief tension. Expressing one's feelings is a must and never bottled them up, will only make you feel more depressed. Be more active, work out at a gym, sign up for martial classes, yoga, swimming, running, cycling anything that stimulates the body and mind.

And never, I repeat never seek hope for reconciliation, you have to understand that the person you fell in love with it isnt there anymore. He/she has changed. People and feelings change with time, its inevitable. The sooner your mind grasp the reality of the situation the faster you will start to move on.

The pain will be unbearable but you come out a better and stronger person after the incident.

I have been there and I remember when I was at week 2, i was a wreck. Now I feel good about myself and rarely if ever get a sad day. It pops up occasionally but my mind has learned to quickly block/change the thought and image that causes pain and misery. Your body and mind wants to be happy and it will get there eventually, just need time and work to adopt.

[MyHeartHurtsOuch]

I am definitely following those steps...and I guess the part that I need to work on is realizing there is no hope for the future...but as I stated in a different post today I just realized how angry I am. I was so in love with this guy that I forgave all kinds of mean **** he did to me during the break up....and it was my love that got me through it...and yet he still didnt think i was worth a second chance?? I just want to tell him F U....