Johnny85 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Hey all! I am as of recently single and have decided to sign up on a dating site. I have had the worst luck so far with girls responding to my messages. Some of the messages that I send, I will admit, are not the longest. Nonetheless, I think I have send out 50 messages in a three month period and maybe received 5 responses. I don't think I am aiming too high; the girls I usually message are between 6-8 in the looks department. This is getting frustrating. I am relatively introverted but even so, I have a better chance going to a bar and finding a girlfriend than on a dating website. What's up with that ladies? lol Anyway, I would appreciate some honest feedback on my profile. I have a ton of photos of myself too; so what I look like is pretty obvious. https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Stylemania?cf=regular Thanks!!
alethean Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Hmmm, I don't really know. From your profile, personally I don't see any major issues with it. Maybe you should show an example of a message you send? Wonderful smile, btw.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Recently single, are you over your ex(s)? Just make sure you are before dating again. Women generally get 10x more messages then men, and often a varity of the messages aren't very appropiate. I wouldn't take the non reponses to heart. Often they are boggled by previous messages and delete most of them. Your profile make you seem approachable which is a plus, your pictures look good and your smiling, so there is no problem in that area. You should talk more about your positive traits, and your character, let people get a glimpse of who you are. It's also better to mail those who you find attractive, and who has a good profile. Not just because they look good according to the "1-10" scale.
Author Johnny85 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Hmmm, I don't really know. From your profile, personally I don't see any major issues with it. Maybe you should show an example of a message you send? Wonderful smile, btw. Hey Alethean, Here are a few messages that I have sent in the past (I typically comment on something fun in their profiles): Message One I do that, too. Once at work, a woman asked me, "do you drive a Toyota Corolla"? I said yes, and she started laughing, telling me that she saw me sing when I was driving. haha How fun! Message Two Hi there! I was reviewing your profile and got stuck on the "six things you could never live without" section. I was thinking, just imagine living without electricity (no phone, computer or Ipod for you). haha And probably no gym, either! (She listed that she could not live without a phone, computer, or Ipod; i was trying to be fun, imagining her living in the 1800s lol). I thought I was funny! haha Message Three Hey there! I love cats, too. They are just too adorable. Let me tell you a funny story about my cat, Julez. When I lived in New Mexico, I was outside one day and this very pretty abyssinian cat jumped into my garden. In fact, it looked so feminine that I had no doubt in my mind that it was a girl. So I finally adopted Julez (as someone had abandoned the poor little thing). I took Julez to the vet a few times over a period of some time, and no one ever doubted Julez sex. Then finally, after 5 years, the vet tells me that there is a case of mistaken identity: Julie is actually a Julian. haha I laughed so hard and couldn't keep a straight face in front of the vet. So I changed his name from Julie to Julez, the z representing the feminine side in him!!! haha Message 4 Hey there! How did you develop that skill? Being introverted with a knack for socializing? haha Usually my messages are relatively short, for I have noticed that girls will usually visit my profile regardless of whether they are long or short. Oh and thanks on saying I have a nice smile!
Author Johnny85 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Recently single, are you over your ex(s)? Just make sure you are before dating again. Women generally get 10x more messages then men, and often a varity of the messages aren't very appropiate. I wouldn't take the non reponses to heart. Often they are boggled by previous messages and delete most of them. Your profile make you seem approachable which is a plus, your pictures look good and your smiling, so there is no problem in that area. You should talk more about your positive traits, and your character, let people get a glimpse of who you are. It's also better to mail those who you find attractive, and who has a good profile. Not just because they look good according to the "1-10" scale. To be honest with you, I would be lying if I said I was over my ex. But I am not in denial either. I have accepted that we are over. I guess the hard part is that every time I start feeling better about us being over, she contacts me again. I was with her for 4 years so I still care about her. I don't think that will ever go away though. I am just trying to move on; it's been almost 4 months now. I am focusing on myself 100%, and if someone special comes along, that is great. But I also believe in making my own luck. I like to believe that I control my future if that makes sense (instead of waiting for the sunshine to rise in my face). lol Oh, and I do always read profiles before sending a message. I usually look at our compatibility (based on questions answered, I don't know if you're familiar with OkCupid?). There are many attractive women I don't message because we are just too different (interests, values, religion, etc). But I am open minded also. I am not gonna lie, physical attraction is important, but so are other qualities, as well. Thanks for the advice, I will definitely work on making the profile more personal.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 It's understandable, just remember to stay NC. If you still are hung up on her id suggest just working on yourself right now. But, if dating would really make you feel better, id look for something more casual in the time being. It's hard to compete for someones heart when it's already taken. I have no doubt that someone special will come along, but only once you are ready. I'm familiar with Okcupid, It's always a good idea to look at what others answered too, gives you a good idea of there morals and dating preferences. Though, there are quite a few people who don't answer any questions and get skipped over. That's why it's important to take a good look at the profiles too. It's all about the whole package, attraction + character. Best way to go.
OliveOyl Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I peeked at your profile and I didn't see any issues with it at all. If I was in your age range and you had messaged me, I would have definitely replied back. I do see the resemblance to William too I'd just say keep at it!!
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I think you look much cuter then William. I'm not really a fan of him. As everyone else said, your profile is pretty much dead on.
Author Johnny85 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 (edited) It's understandable, just remember to stay NC. If you still are hung up on her id suggest just working on yourself right now. But, if dating would really make you feel better, id look for something more casual in the time being. It's hard to compete for someones heart when it's already taken. I have no doubt that someone special will come along, but only once you are ready. I'm familiar with Okcupid, It's always a good idea to look at what others answered too, gives you a good idea of there morals and dating preferences. Though, there are quite a few people who don't answer any questions and get skipped over. That's why it's important to take a good look at the profiles too. It's all about the whole package, attraction + character. Best way to go. Hey Rinnix, Thanks for looking at my profile. It is so hard to compete for someone's heart when it's taken. I learned that the hard way, but at least I won't be making that mistake again. After 4 years, I think that we were, unfortunately, taking each other for granted. The irony is that it did not work out between her and the new guy, so she has started contacting me again. And even though I consider pride to be a silly emotion, I just feel like moving on and finding someone better, you know. I feel like she was using me as a backup plan in case it didn't work out between her and the other guy. How can she even feel that is okay? Time will tell what happens; I like having her as a friend. She is very smart and has many similar values. Time will tell what happens, I guess. lol You do bring up a good point about women getting more responses than men. I think I have had 2 women contact me since I signed up on Okcupid. I wonder if I would have more luck on a pay site? I have a friend who had a profile on PoF. She had only one picture of herself and no description. A guy messaged her and he is now her boyfriend. haha Thanks again. Edited May 2, 2011 by Johnny85
Author Johnny85 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I peeked at your profile and I didn't see any issues with it at all. If I was in your age range and you had messaged me, I would have definitely replied back. I do see the resemblance to William too I'd just say keep at it!! Oh well thank you OliveOyl:) I guess I will just have to keep at it and see what happens. Right now the odds of getting a reply are lower than catching Osama Bin Laden. *Joke*
whichwayisup Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 The cat comment at the beginning is cute. Pretty good profile, I hope you get some dates!
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Never settle to be second best or the backup plan. You seem like a good guy, I'm sure you won't be single for too long. Just work on moving on for now. And for all things right in the world, stay away from pof. It's plain terrible. Most women are hounded even when they don't have a picture up! However, I know people who have used pay sites and have had great results. Worth a shot.
Author Johnny85 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Never settle to be second best or the backup plan. You seem like a good guy, I'm sure you won't be single for too long. Just work on moving on for now. And for all things right in the world, stay away from pof. It's plain terrible. Most women are hounded even when they don't have a picture up! However, I know people who have used pay sites and have had great results. Worth a shot. I like how you use the word "hounded." haha:p But I think you are right on. In many ways, online dating has turned into a numbers game for men.
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