Shaun-Dro Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Here's a thread for you guys. I know I came off jaded in some of my other posts, but I'm trying like hell to get my emotions under control now, since my good friend (much older man) is here to coach me a little bit, in order to get my confidence back up on the high side so I can get what I want. Saturday, after my daily outdoor workout, I stopped off at the store for a cold one, and spotted a cute young babe clad in security clothes. Both of our eyes met but I didn't make a move because of the large crowd by her and she looked to be quite busy with them. About 15 minutes later, I drank my water on the outside bench and out of nowhere, the same security sweetie pops up and sits beside me. I engage her in conversation and she's nice enough. Definitely sexy from my point of view, but lo and behold, her cell phone rings and on the other end is her boyfriend. I get up and leave. Half hour later, I walk the park and spot another cutie playing with what looks like her younger brother. Could be her son. Since I'm not sure, I use this as an opening to engage some small talk. She's taken. I leave again. I walk into the Chinese store to get some lunch and catch another hottie in there ordering food. Our eyes meet so I make a dive for her. She has a boyfriend too . I'm 0 for 3, right? As I leave the joint, my cell phone rings and it's the girl I met Friday at this lounge in Manhattan. She wants to know what I'm doing Saturday night. I tell her I'm busy . Now, why did I do that, right? She's UNATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY! That's the answer. She has a great personality, very easygoing, all that, but she don't have a chance in reaching at least a 7 out of 10 on the looks scale, in my opinion. I give her a 5. Maybe a 6 with makeup and a sexy outfit. I've noticed that I'm running into this same dilemma time and again. The sexier, attractive girls are all in relationships while the unattractive ones are not. The good-looking women have serious character flaws and issues but yet the unattractive ones have fewer. Of course they all have problems. Now, my questions is this: do I just take Plain Jane to pull me off the market in the meantime, then continue to chat up beautiful women, gauge interest in them, but since I'm taken it would keep me more relaxed because I'm not looking for anything, so I'd come off more confident to them? Would it get the finer women to pursue me, wanting to demonstrate that they can prove themselves better than my current girlfriend? The reason I came up with this is because my older buddy claims that this might be my last resort in finding success. And because I cant find the complete package in one woman alone, I can keep Plain Jane for obvious reasons like cooking and good conversation, while I get my rocks off on a harder to obtain Dame. You know, the best of both worlds . Please, ladies and gents, I need opinions, good or bad, I dont care, just some good discussion on this to help gear me into the right direction.
misssmartypants Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 So you want to tell a girl you aren't attracted to that you are in a relationship with her, but still pursue women you are attracted to. So basically you plan on cheating on this poor girl who is foolish enough to like you? I say get off the dating market and stay off, you'd be doing the women in your town a huge favor.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 That would be very cruel of you to use women in this way. In posts you have often said that women pass you up for hotter jerks but you are doing the exact same thing.
alethean Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Here's a thread for you guys. I know I came off jaded in some of my other posts, but I'm trying like hell to get my emotions under control now, since my good friend (much older man) is here to coach me a little bit, in order to get my confidence back up on the high side so I can get what I want. Saturday, after my daily outdoor workout, I stopped off at the store for a cold one, and spotted a cute young babe clad in security clothes. Both of our eyes met but I didn't make a move because of the large crowd by her and she looked to be quite busy with them. About 15 minutes later, I drank my water on the outside bench and out of nowhere, the same security sweetie pops up and sits beside me. I engage her in conversation and she's nice enough. Definitely sexy from my point of view, but lo and behold, her cell phone rings and on the other end is her boyfriend. I get up and leave. Half hour later, I walk the park and spot another cutie playing with what looks like her younger brother. Could be her son. Since I'm not sure, I use this as an opening to engage some small talk. She's taken. I leave again. I walk into the Chinese store to get some lunch and catch another hottie in there ordering food. Our eyes meet so I make a dive for her. She has a boyfriend too . I'm 0 for 3, right? As I leave the joint, my cell phone rings and it's the girl I met Friday at this lounge in Manhattan. She wants to know what I'm doing Saturday night. I tell her I'm busy . Now, why did I do that, right? She's UNATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY! That's the answer. She has a great personality, very easygoing, all that, but she don't have a chance in reaching at least a 7 out of 10 on the looks scale, in my opinion. I give her a 5. Maybe a 6 with makeup and a sexy outfit. I've noticed that I'm running into this same dilemma time and again. The sexier, attractive girls are all in relationships while the unattractive ones are not. The good-looking women have serious character flaws and issues but yet the unattractive ones have fewer. Of course they all have problems. Now, my questions is this: do I just take Plain Jane to pull me off the market in the meantime, then continue to chat up beautiful women, gauge interest in them, but since I'm taken it would keep me more relaxed because I'm not looking for anything, so I'd come off more confident to them? Would it get the finer women to pursue me, wanting to demonstrate that they can prove themselves better than my current girlfriend? The reason I came up with this is because my older buddy claims that this might be my last resort in finding success. And because I cant find the complete package in one woman alone, I can keep Plain Jane for obvious reasons like cooking and good conversation, while I get my rocks off on a harder to obtain Dame. You know, the best of both worlds . Please, ladies and gents, I need opinions, good or bad, I dont care, just some good discussion on this to help gear me into the right direction. On behalf of the Plain Janes...I beg you not to do that.
thatdog Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Whilst this is unfortunately a 'good' idea and might actually work it would prove you to be a terrible human being. As a previous poster said, you are just turning yoursef into one of those jerks you claim to hate. Going in to a relationship with that girl with that intention is a horrible thing to do. I think you are being way superficial if you reckon this girl is great in every way except looks so you don't want to date her. if she is really a 5or 6 that means she isn't too bad. Objectively speaking my current gf is much less attractive than a lot of the women i've dated before but those other relationships never lasted long and i've been with her for over 3 years cos she is so much fun to be with and so in my eyes she is a hard 10. If you really want to chase 'hot' girls only, then what you need is a wing woman or women. Hang out with and befriend hot girls even if they are taken or uninterested in you. Just by being surrounded by cute girls will still make you more attractive in the eyes of other women. Remember a lot of couples are that big on PDAs so if you are hanging out in a bar with a cute girl there's no way that other women observing you can tell for sure whether or not you are together or if she is keen on you.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I forgot to mention that I'd ask Plain Jane if we can have an open affair. I just hate being single all the time! The longer I'm single, the harder it is to find what I want, because women always wanna know how long you're single and when I tell them it's been some years, red flags go up before I can even get out a word of why. Of course I can keep trucking along until I find what attracts me but in NY it just seems near impossible, because all the hot girls are in clubs only! It is like they're exclusive to clubbing and partying. I've never run into a fine woman that isn't into clubs. It seems only the average women aren't, and I'm not totally against dating her, but I need something in the meantime. By the way, my uncle married a heinous-looking woman for 24 years and counting, but takes vacations and makes love to attractive women on the side out in the country, then comes back home to his wife for a deliciously cooked meal and clean clothes. He seems happy as hell. Maybe he also understand that you cant find both in one woman these days, so he opts for the best of 2 worlds. I'm just to figure out my options here, guys.
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Leave the girl alone if you are not attracted to her. Someone else may see her as a "10'. What does it take to be at least a '7' on the hot list for you? (Just curious.)
Knittress Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Cooly calculating how best to use other people for your own ends is a 'serious character flaw,' way more than being average looking. That makes you like, a 2, in most women's books. If you want a well-adjusted hottie stop being a tool and start looking at yourself and figuring out how to be the sort of man a good woman would want to be with.
mr.dream merchant Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 OP just cool out for a while. You don't need a woman on your arms at all times, certainly not a woman you're not physically attracted to. Just kick back and soak in the "me-time" for now. It's certain a lovely woman will somehow cross paths with you. Don't cause any harm nor foul until then, just kick back and live life. This is much easier to do when you have a full schedule.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Leave the girl alone if you are not attracted to her. Someone else may see her as a "10'. What does it take to be at least a '7' on the hot list for you? (Just curious.) Okay, maybe I'll leave Plain Jane alone, but she's really making it clear to me that she's interested with continuos texts. I'll figure it out. As for the number scale, to me, for a woman to hit a 7 she has to have a little bit of curves going on, not just straight up and down. I can live with a plain face. I'm cool with that, especially if she's got a great personality, but to create that desire for sexual attraction, you know the deal.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 OP just cool out for a while. You don't need a woman on your arms at all times, certainly not a woman you're not physically attracted to. Just kick back and soak in the "me-time" for now. It's certain a lovely woman will somehow cross paths with you. Don't cause any harm nor foul until then, just kick back and live life. This is much easier to do when you have a full schedule. It's not about having a woman on my arms at all times. I haven't had one in years! Not saying no women are attracted to me. That would be a lie. I get hints thrown at me left and right, but by 5s and below that. I'm not all surprised since these kinds of women have to step up their game or risk a chance at staying single eternally, since most men aren't attracted. My other buddy also tells me to just relax and just talk to them, make a little harmless chitchat with some flirting thrown in. He claims that if she's into you, she'll ask you things and make it clear she wants to get to know me. If she stalls and does nothing, then it's clear I have to do all the work and I don't need that aggravation. I just get bouts of loneliness. I guess we all have them. But its hard to go about my business, see these good-looking women all around, and not be able to land them. I mean, what else are they for???
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I'm not all surprised since these kinds of women have to step up their game or risk a chance at staying single eternally, since most men aren't attracted. [/Quote] Just because YOU are too shallow to overlook some of their physical flaws doesn't mean most men are. But its hard to go about my business, see these good-looking women all around, and not be able to land them. I mean, what else are they for??? What ELSE are they FOR??? :sick:. So basically women to you are valued solely based on their physical attractiveness. Women are human too, not just sex objects. Just because a woman is "hot" doesn't make her obligated to bed with any man who is horny for them. As was said before, your plan may keep you happy. More power to you. But if you follow through, then you certainly are a terrible human being.
Sanman Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Haha, you sound like me when I was in my early 20's. Congrats, what you are proposing is hardly anything new. Actually, the idea of a wife and a mistress is one of the oldest in the world. Rich and powerful men have been doing it forever. Those who can't afford a mistress (or have the time for one) see call girls or prostitutes. It works wonderful for some and it explodes in the face of many others. If you are a fellow New Yorker, you should be familiar with the Elliot Spitzer scandal. The flip side is that there are risks and most women in this day and age are not going to accept you cheating on them. The ones that do will do so because you are valuable for other reasons (money, power, etc). It is up to you what kind of person you want to be. Though, if I am honest, the beauty you speak of is very superficial and rather useless. IME, often what you see in the club is the best of what you get. Give me an average woman who is enthusiastic and skillful in bed, easy to live with, and considerate over a club girl who is in love with herself any day. Those average women seem to get much hotter over time in my mind.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Haha, you sound like me when I was in my early 20's. Congrats, what you are proposing is hardly anything new. Actually, the idea of a wife and a mistress is one of the oldest in the world. Rich and powerful men have been doing it forever. Those who can't afford a mistress (or have the time for one) see call girls or prostitutes. It works wonderful for some and it explodes in the face of many others. If you are a fellow New Yorker, you should be familiar with the Elliot Spitzer scandal. The flip side is that there are risks and most women in this day and age are not going to accept you cheating on them. The ones that do will do so because you are valuable for other reasons (money, power, etc). It is up to you what kind of person you want to be. Though, if I am honest, the beauty you speak of is very superficial and rather useless. IME, often what you see in the club is the best of what you get. Give me an average woman who is enthusiastic and skillful in bed, easy to live with, and considerate over a club girl who is in love with herself any day. Those average women seem to get much hotter over time in my mind. I'm not interested in club girls. I already stated this. I'm not very keen on the 2 women fiasco either, but I'm tired of being alone and not able to get a relatively good-looking woman on my arm with a nice personality and in to me as I'm into her. That's the tough part. There aren't many around! I'm all for average-looking women, but she got's to have something going on physically, whether it be a flat stomach, shapely legs, nice soft hands, you get the drift? This one lady who's bothering me right now has nada of those things. I looked her up and down and saw nothing at all that makes me wanna get romantic with her. I'm sorry, but that's how I view her. I won't bother with the double-dealing right now. It might go wrong on me in a hurry! And I know you women out there who respond to my thread on this matter feel you should be worth more to a man than just your looks, but honestly, your physical attractiveness and how you maintain that is a keeper and knowing your place when with your man ranks you up in value in the dating department. Not your careers and your ability to do the stuff that we can do. That does not create attraction in a man, just in case some of you were unaware, or going about it all wrong.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I actually felt some sympathy for you in other posts because I know how NYC dating can be but I have lost it. If you are not interested in her than fine but using her like this is just cruel and will only result in another bitter person out there who hates the opposite sex. 1
Rinnix Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I actually felt some sympathy for you in other posts because I know how NYC dating can be but I have lost it. If you are not interested in her than fine but using her like this is just cruel and will only result in another bitter person out there who hates the opposite sex. Agreed. I also don't think you should go for women you just deem as average. You need to be with someone who you are fully attracted to. Nice hands or legs won't keep you interested long if you don't like the girls face.
Romeofud Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I'm not interested in club girls. I already stated this. I'm not very keen on the 2 women fiasco either, but I'm tired of being alone and not able to get a relatively good-looking woman on my arm with a nice personality and in to me as I'm into her. That's the tough part. There aren't many around! I'm all for average-looking women, but she got's to have something going on physically, whether it be a flat stomach, shapely legs, nice soft hands, you get the drift? This one lady who's bothering me right now has nada of those things. I looked her up and down and saw nothing at all that makes me wanna get romantic with her. I'm sorry, but that's how I view her. I won't bother with the double-dealing right now. It might go wrong on me in a hurry! And I know you women out there who respond to my thread on this matter feel you should be worth more to a man than just your looks, but honestly, your physical attractiveness and how you maintain that is a keeper and knowing your place when with your man ranks you up in value in the dating department. Not your careers and your ability to do the stuff that we can do. That does not create attraction in a man, just in case some of you were unaware, or going about it all wrong. Your taking this dating thing way too seriously bro lol. Just hit on them as they come. Its as simple as that. Dont make it complicated. Besides these broads aren't worth getting stressed out over. Believe me, man. I've been with my share and after sleeping with them, making out, w/e, she's a pain in the ass with nothing really in common with u. If your feeling that alone & want some female companionship, order up a escort service & pick your way through the best of them. Good luck.
misssmartypants Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I know you women out there who respond to my thread on this matter feel you should be worth more to a man than just your looks, but honestly, your physical attractiveness and how you maintain that is a keeper and knowing your place when with your man ranks you up in value in the dating department. Not your careers and your ability to do the stuff that we can do. That does not create attraction in a man, just in case some of you were unaware, or going about it all wrong. On behalf of women every where, if that's how men feel, I'm glad to be single for the rest of my life.
Sanman Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I'm not interested in club girls. I already stated this. I'm not very keen on the 2 women fiasco either, but I'm tired of being alone and not able to get a relatively good-looking woman on my arm with a nice personality and in to me as I'm into her. That's the tough part. There aren't many around! I'm all for average-looking women, but she got's to have something going on physically, whether it be a flat stomach, shapely legs, nice soft hands, you get the drift? This one lady who's bothering me right now has nada of those things. I looked her up and down and saw nothing at all that makes me wanna get romantic with her. I'm sorry, but that's how I view her. I won't bother with the double-dealing right now. It might go wrong on me in a hurry! And I know you women out there who respond to my thread on this matter feel you should be worth more to a man than just your looks, but honestly, your physical attractiveness and how you maintain that is a keeper and knowing your place when with your man ranks you up in value in the dating department. Not your careers and your ability to do the stuff that we can do. That does not create attraction in a man, just in case some of you were unaware, or going about it all wrong. Wait, was the your OP not suggesting the two women scenario? Anyway, you sound caught up in the "looking for something better" syndrome all over NYC. This girl clearly likes you, but you are looking for something better. When you find that something better, she will likely be looking for that something better than you. It the way NYC dating works. Either settle and find happiness in what you have or get back out there are work for what you want.
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I won't bother with the double-dealing right now. It might go wrong on me in a hurry! And I know you women out there who respond to my thread on this matter feel you should be worth more to a man than just your looks, but honestly, your physical attractiveness and how you maintain that is a keeper and knowing your place when with your man ranks you up in value in the dating department. Not your careers and your ability to do the stuff that we can do. That does not create attraction in a man, just in case some of you were unaware, or going about it all wrong. I know men don't care about careers/ability to do stuff w/e. No one truly cares about that. But I sincerely hope that a man cares more about me than JUST my looks. Be it personality or whatever. Because one day I'm not gonna be young and spry anymore. One day I'm going to get wrinkles. One day I'm going to be sick, maybe cancer or some chronic illness. I might even gain weight. And I'd hope the man I'm with would be a MAN and stick by his wife/gf's side, not divorce/dump her and go chase some younger tail.
Romeofud Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I know men don't care about careers/ability to do stuff w/e. No one truly cares about that. But I sincerely hope that a man cares more about me than JUST my looks. Be it personality or whatever. Because one day I'm not gonna be young and spry anymore. One day I'm going to get wrinkles. One day I'm going to be sick, maybe cancer or some chronic illness. I might even gain weight. And I'd hope the man I'm with would be a MAN and stick by his wife/gf's side, not divorce/dump her and go chase some younger tail. For these reasons you mentioned above is why I will never get serious w/ a chick lol. No offense, but I like my women young & vibrant, so I'm afraid that I'm gonna keep chasing that young hot tail, rinse & repeat.
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