misssmartypants Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 So after asking here and other places, people have pretty much told me that with three kids and the criteria I have for I guy, I need to accept less in a man or date much older. How do I relate to older men? I'm only 29, guys over 40 still seem like "grown ups" compared with me. How do I accept just being single forever?
Sunstar Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 How do I accept just being single forever? That's a pretty big mental jump you made there from your previous post. I don't think that's how it would turn out for you if you put your mind to finding the right guy.
Author misssmartypants Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 That's a pretty big mental jump you made there from your previous post. I don't think that's how it would turn out for you if you put your mind to finding the right guy. Well, I go in phases when it doesn't bother me that I'm single and that aside from girls' nights with my friends or a one night thing with an old friend that I know isn't going anywhere I don't go out at all, to times when I really feel like I want a special guy in my life. And then I look around online or around town and get so discouraged that I want to quit again. I don't want to be argumentative, I honestly want to know, what do you mean by putting my mind to finding the right guy? I'm willing to try new approaches (well, within reason).
Sunstar Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I honestly want to know, what do you mean by putting my mind to finding the right guy? I'm willing to try new approaches (well, within reason). Since you have certain criteria and have three kids obviously you'd like a guy that meets those criteria and is comfortable with the fact that you have children. What I mean was that in this thread you kind of took a defeatist attitude, hence I said that if you really start thinking creatively in regards to meeting guys, then eventually you'll come by a guy that meets your criteria and likes your children.
Author misssmartypants Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 iirc you are so caught up in your restrictions when you should just find a guy you like and can have fun with. I believe you found one but you let your laundry list of exclusions get in the way. You don't need to marry him, but wouldn't it be better to have him around than feeling lonely during those times you want a special guy? I'm not iirc, I thought that was a dude from the way its always talking about fat women. I met a guy last year I really liked, but he lives an hour and a half away from me and has issues with the kids. He's not the one.
Author misssmartypants Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 iirc = if i remember correctly Weren't you the one who met a guy in a one room apartment you liked? Yeah, he stopped called me even after I went to see him both times we met up. So, even when I meet people I think I like, I have to deal with random rude dating crap.
Author misssmartypants Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Since you have certain criteria and have three kids obviously you'd like a guy that meets those criteria and is comfortable with the fact that you have children. What I mean was that in this thread you kind of took a defeatist attitude, hence I said that if you really start thinking creatively in regards to meeting guys, then eventually you'll come by a guy that meets your criteria and likes your children. I am thinking of asking my aunt if she knows anyone, she works with lots of people and seems like she knows everyone. But I kinda am not sure if I want relatives in my dating business.
Professor X Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I think you might want to try and open your eyes for different points of view. I take it that you are independent, therefor you don't need a man in your life, you want a man in your life. This fact alone should open up so many possibilities for you, for example: In an earlier post of yours you've basically called a janitor a loser. He might be physically attractive for you and be a nice guy by your standards, and the way I see it, any man with a job is respectful, don't you agree? I mean, as long as you can live together, what should everything else matter? There isn't much difference between a computer engineer to a janitor (apart from money) - both do their part in society; if you hadn't had a janitor in your school, I promise you it would smell like pee. Each is a small screw in the complex machine which is called society. Than again, I never valued money that much, and I hate the fact society is build around it; Ironically enough, I make loads.
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