Would you have done the same with your EX? Honest answers

[neverendingdrama]

The reason I am asking a place full of strangers is because I have a few people I know who told me I had no right to ruin someones life on my way out. I didn't think it as ruining someone , just taking care of myself for once. This wasn't out of spite , but making someone take responsibility while getting myself to a better spot , just my opinion.

 

I was with someone who was abusive. He lied , I went through injuries and severe emotional trauma. I went to jail with injuries ( punched me in the face) due to his lies after I called the police for help. That incident alone turned my life upside down for 2 months and he did nothing to fix anything when he could have. The case was dismissed. I also got to pay our rent and utilities because he had moved his bed and TV to a friends house. The garage was his free storage area for all his tools and parts. He got to come and go as he wanted. This went on for 3 months and was so stressful. Still thinking in the back of my head , this would work out and we could fix it.

 

He came over one night few weeks ago and started screaming at me over something stupid. Punched a hole in the wall , kicked in a cabinet and grabbed my wrist. After he left angry , I called the cops . They charged him with 4 different counts. There was a warrant. I went the next day to file a Restaining Order. 2 days later I baited him to the house and acted like nothing went on that night. Called the cops when he was close by and they took him to jail from my driveway.

 

During the time of my RO where he couldn't show up , I was offered a new house to disappear to. Started packing and found out all mine/his property was " common law". Ex told me numerous times he was going to rent a truck and come and get his stuff , but as usual he was too busy at the bars or throwing money into his car to make it a priority. I was essentially the doormat.

 

Moved all furniture to my new house. Since I was paying all the bills while he was still coming / going and on the lease I was broke. Took every tool out of the garage and gave it to my new landlord ( who was hesitant , until I had him call the cops and get the ok ) to put towards my rent. About $1000 or so. Sold garage cabinets and tool boxes and anything misc on Craigslist to help pay for movers. He probably saw me doing it and I couldn't have cared less. I needed to get away. Never indicated I was moving on my adds.

 

I moved out to my new place. The ex came back to the house on a set date expecting to move enough stuff to fit in a few 10x12 storage units and was greeted with a file of personal belongings. He didn't know I was moving, thought I was getting a roommate.

 

I feel peaceful here. I personally wouldn't have changed a thing. I could have continued to be a doormat and let him walk on me , or made changes for myself. The topper , while he was smoozing me , found out after he went to jail , he had someone he started seeing the weekend prior. Made me all the more happy with the timing.

 

Would you have done the same ?

[poorguy]

In a situation such as you described I sure hope that any female would do the same. My god....For you or any other females on here that have dealt with abuse I am so sorry you all went through it but im delighted that you have gotten out of it are at very least trying to. I am a guy to the bone in every way shape and form and even I could'nt begin to tell to tell you why men act this way....I have an opinion though-its because deep down they are giant (the p word). None of them pull that sh#t on another dude....they just know better

[TaraMaiden]

Yes.

 

But a whole lot sooner.

Him landing a second blow would never have happened.

[neverendingdrama]

of behavior I will never put up with again. I got to spend 2 days in jail with a face that swelled shut , while he played the victim. I opened a door on him and became the aggresor. It was the final bout with the abuse. There were a few incidents prior that were smaller I chose to ignore. Having a black face for 15 days was the topper.

 

Now I get to live happily. Unlike my case where he didn't show up ( trying to do me a "favor" ) , I will be at his case with bells on. After that date , I will never have to see his face again.