loveishard Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Hi everyone, Where shall i start. Been broken up with my ex of 2 years nearly 5 months now. He broke up with me on New Years, stood me up for the countdown and then drunkenly rang me a few hours later to say it was over. Needless to say this was a bit of a shock to me. We had only had a minor fight earlier that day and before that everything was just fine. To this day he still can't give me a reason for wanting to end it. All he keeps saying is that this is just the way it has to be and that ive done nothing wrong. We were madly in love and were practically living with each other at this point. Anyway, 5 months have passed and i'm still missing him like crazy and still love him. We still hang out on occasion but its nothing more but friend stuff. A year ago he told me he's be leaving the country to make something out of his life. This was when he had just finished college. He told me i'd get at least a few months warning before he left, which i did. I said my goodbyes to him yesterday and i cant even begin to describe how upset i was to see him go. I really wish he still didn't have such an effect over me. Everyone keeps telling me it will get easier but i love him no less today than i did when we were still together. ive tried to get over him. I tried cutting all communication with him, just made me even sadder. I've a new boyfriend now who i've been with a few months. He's lovely and a much better boyfriend than my ex ever was. My ex was a bit of an ass really. Sometimes when id come to visit he'd play video games for hours while i just sat there watching tv. When we did spend time together it was just amazing. I have such a connection with the guy. I've never been happier in my entire life. He'd just have to talk into a room and id be smiling for the rest of the day. But now he's gone, but not for good. Max of half a year. I really want to be with him but i know that just can't happen. Feeling this way about an ex just isn't fair to my boyfriend. What should i do??? I'm so confused
blueskyday Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I'm sorry you are grieving! That's what it is. And you didn't really get closure about why he ended your relationship. I hate when that happens, but it does. You have to give yourself the closure you seek, as in, "He doesn't want to be with me, and that's enough. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me." It helped me to make a list of all the things I hated about my ex, including how he mistreated me and how boring he was to talk to. In your list, include physical things, too, like how you hate his big toe! Whenever you miss your ex, take out your list (I taped mine to the inside of my medicine cabinet where I could see it every day!) Then compare him to your new guy. It may help to remember, if your new guy dumps you, you would miss him and want him back, too....don't mess things up with him...sometimes we simply want what we can't have. We also tend to remember the positive, and not the negative. If you got him back, he would be a jerk again...besides, he's out of the country, right? How about not talking to him anymore? No Contact hurts at first, but it helps so much! Out of sight, out of mind....Now, go get naked with that new guy of yours!
Author loveishard Posted May 1, 2011 Author Posted May 1, 2011 I've tried cutting him out altogether but it was too tough. I'm closer to him than i am anyone else. He'd be one of my best friends still. I have no problem remember the the negative parts about him but just the way i felt when i was with him was incredible. I felt like i was going to explode with happiness. And this was pretty much constant. Its just this effect he seems to have on me. Even after we broke up. I honestly don't know if he still loves me. I was too afraid to ask. But i know how i feel. I feel sorry for my boyfriend(i've already told him its not going to be a serious relationship,just lighthearted fun) but if my ex wanted me back i'd say yes in a heartbeat. Sure, he may be out of the country for the next while, but eventually he will be back. I'm still hoping we'll end back together. Can that kind of thing even happen?
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