Wang101 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Hello everyone. How to tell if this girl likes me or just treat me as a friend? I noticed that she always be the one that call and text me asking what I'm doing.There's this time she heard from her friends that I'm dating someone and she text me to found out whether it is true or not. And recently she told me a lot about her problems with her boyfriends. She told me how tired and sad she was and even told me she wanna cry. Does she only treat me as her best friend or there's something more? I'm curious.
Author Wang101 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 My brother from another mother.... Is she Asian? She's asian and she's nice.
cerridwen Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 If this is all you have to go on, I can see why it's hard to figure out. You may have to take the plunge, Wang: Ask her out. Think you can?
Author Wang101 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 If this is all you have to go on, I can see why it's hard to figure out. You may have to take the plunge, Wang: Ask her out. Think you can? OK back to the main topic. It's not possible to ask her out now. She's working in another state. It's just difficult to meet. Is there any other ways to figure out aside from bluntly asking her about this?
cerridwen Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 OK back to the main topic. It's not possible to ask her out now. She's working in another state. It's just difficult to meet. Is there any other ways to figure out aside from bluntly asking her about this? Skype with her so you can at least see her face. While talking, flirt a little, gauge her reaction. In other words, test the waters.
Author Wang101 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 Skype with her so you can at least see her face. While talking, flirt a little, gauge her reaction. In other words, test the waters. Thanks man for the tips. I guess this is not the right time to flirt with her to 'test the water'. At the moment she's heartbroken due to her boyfriend. I'm thinking of calling or texting her to ask about her day. You know, just want to show that I care about her. Do you think I should do so? Or this is a bad move?
Author Wang101 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 OK I texted her just now asking how was her day. She replied me only once. Text her back again and no more reply from her again. Strange, she used to reply every of my texts that I sent to her. So I guess I know where this will be heading to
duhduhduhdan Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Hello everyone. How to tell if this girl likes me or just treat me as a friend? I noticed that she always be the one that call and text me asking what I'm doing.There's this time she heard from her friends that I'm dating someone and she text me to found out whether it is true or not. And recently she told me a lot about her problems with her boyfriends. She told me how tired and sad she was and even told me she wanna cry. Does she only treat me as her best friend or there's something more? I'm curious. I was in the same situation as you about 5 months ago, infact so similar I could have written this 5 months ago. I cannot tell you if she likes you or not, but i can offer some advice. I thought she liked me, because of what you describes basically, but it turned out she didn't and i ended up making a big fool out of myself. However we are best friends now and nothing would ever happen between us. So I would say, don't be too sure either way, keep her as a friend, flirt, drop hints you like her (if you do), then as time goes on, you will be able to tell if she likes you, or she actually tells you. Hope this helped
Author Wang101 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 I was in the same situation as you about 5 months ago, infact so similar I could have written this 5 months ago. I cannot tell you if she likes you or not, but i can offer some advice. I thought she liked me, because of what you describes basically, but it turned out she didn't and i ended up making a big fool out of myself. However we are best friends now and nothing would ever happen between us. So I would say, don't be too sure either way, keep her as a friend, flirt, drop hints you like her (if you do), then as time goes on, you will be able to tell if she likes you, or she actually tells you. Hope this helped Thanks man. It's good to hear you two can still be best friends. Three years ago before she got a new boyfriend, she always call and text me.During her graduation, she asked me if I would like to attend it or buy her a flower. I did attend her graduation day and bought her roses. At that time, I weren't sure whether I like her or not because I were still in the process of recovering from a rejection by another girl. I don't understand why she said to me that she wish I would accompany her if she got a job in the area where I live. She got a job in another state and finally get a new boyfriend. We occasionally texting each other until recently she told me that she's very unhappy with the attitude of her boyfriend that takes her for granted. I tried to comfort her although I feel very pissed why she let her boyfriend threat her like **** again and again. Deep down in my heart, I feel a bit jealous though. Is this a sign that I love her? I wasnt sure. Although I always think of her recently. Do you think it is appropriate to flirt while she has a boyfriend? I think it is not a good idea though.
duhduhduhdan Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Thanks man. It's good to hear you two can still be best friends. Three years ago before she got a new boyfriend, she always call and text me.During her graduation, she asked me if I would like to attend it or buy her a flower. I did attend her graduation day and bought her roses. At that time, I weren't sure whether I like her or not because I were still in the process of recovering from a rejection by another girl. I don't understand why she said to me that she wish I would accompany her if she got a job in the area where I live. She got a job in another state and finally get a new boyfriend. We occasionally texting each other until recently she told me that she's very unhappy with the attitude of her boyfriend that takes her for granted. I tried to comfort her although I feel very pissed why she let her boyfriend threat her like **** again and again. Deep down in my heart, I feel a bit jealous though. Is this a sign that I love her? I wasnt sure. Although I always think of her recently. Do you think it is appropriate to flirt while she has a boyfriend? I think it is not a good idea though. By the way, i'm only 16, so some of the following you may think "Well stuff that" and i understand. But because you guys are friends it is natural to be really pissed at someone because they let their bf/gf treat them like crap, trust me, i'm going through the same thing now, my best friend who i mentioned earlier is being cheated on and has been hit. So i wouldn't say that is a sign that you love her, but it deffinatly shows you care for her, weather it's in just a best friend kind of way, or maybe having deeper feelings for her. I don't know. But i agree that flirting with her whilst she has a bf is a bad idea, if you know you have a day off work or what ever coming up soon, call her and ask her if she wants to go out to lunch or something to catch up, and depending on how far away she is obviously. But if you can get there, take her out for lunch as friends, and just talk i guess, see how you guys are when you're out together. You might get there and think to yourself "you know, I think we're better off just as friends" or if not and you think you may like her, tell her you should meet up again soon, and remember to talk about her bf as well, if its a really bad relationship and she is being abused or something then assure her everything will be ok, help her in every way that you can. If they end up breaking up, being there for her is the bets thing you can do, because spending alone time with someone is the way you find out if you like them / they like you. Hope this helped
Author Wang101 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 By the way, i'm only 16, so some of the following you may think "Well stuff that" and i understand. But because you guys are friends it is natural to be really pissed at someone because they let their bf/gf treat them like crap, trust me, i'm going through the same thing now, my best friend who i mentioned earlier is being cheated on and has been hit. So i wouldn't say that is a sign that you love her, but it deffinatly shows you care for her, weather it's in just a best friend kind of way, or maybe having deeper feelings for her. I don't know. But i agree that flirting with her whilst she has a bf is a bad idea, if you know you have a day off work or what ever coming up soon, call her and ask her if she wants to go out to lunch or something to catch up, and depending on how far away she is obviously. But if you can get there, take her out for lunch as friends, and just talk i guess, see how you guys are when you're out together. You might get there and think to yourself "you know, I think we're better off just as friends" or if not and you think you may like her, tell her you should meet up again soon, and remember to talk about her bf as well, if its a really bad relationship and she is being abused or something then assure her everything will be ok, help her in every way that you can. If they end up breaking up, being there for her is the bets thing you can do, because spending alone time with someone is the way you find out if you like them / they like you. Hope this helped I'm 10 years older than you but it doesn't really matter. I'm glad that someone willing to spend some time to help me, regardless of his/her age. We are not really close friends but somehow we shared our problems about our love life and career. When I got rejected by another girl, she's there to listen to my rant and feelings. Maybe she just think I'm her confidant, i dunno. Now there's no way I can share my feelings with her about my crush. Because I think she might be my crush. Funny feeling. I'm so confused. I really wish she is nearby so we can meet up. From there maybe I can figured it out. This feeling is killing me...
cerridwen Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I'm 10 years older than you but it doesn't really matter. I'm glad that someone willing to spend some time to help me, regardless of his/her age. We are not really close friends but somehow we shared our problems about our love life and career. When I got rejected by another girl, she's there to listen to my rant and feelings. Maybe she just think I'm her confidant, i dunno. Now there's no way I can share my feelings with her about my crush. Because I think she might be my crush. Funny feeling. I'm so confused. I really wish she is nearby so we can meet up. From there maybe I can figured it out. This feeling is killing me... Wang, I'm feeling what I bolded above is right. After reading what you've posted lately, she may only think of you as a friend. If flirting goes against your principles, don't do it. But, it can be an effective way to gauge her feelings for you. It would help to see her face if you did go this route but I understand the logistical problems. If you don't want to communicate your crush, I'm not sure what's left.
Author Wang101 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Wang, I'm feeling what I bolded above is right. After reading what you've posted lately, she may only think of you as a friend. If flirting goes against your principles, don't do it. But, it can be an effective way to gauge her feelings for you. It would help to see her face if you did go this route but I understand the logistical problems. If you don't want to communicate your crush, I'm not sure what's left. Yeah, maybe all this time she's just treat me as a confidant, nothing more. But I'm so curious why she asked me to accompany her years ago. Why always she's the one that call/text me first. Maybe she dropped some hints that she likes me. Could be... Flirting would be the last thing I wanna do, unless she is single again. It's kinda "radical" right? She still together with her boyfriend now and I bet she still loves him. My best bet now is to drop some hints that I like her, and see how she's going to respond. But what are some of the hints I should show her, aside from asking her out which is not very practical at the moment? I need some suggestions. Thank you very much!
cerridwen Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Yeah, maybe all this time she's just treat me as a confidant, nothing more. But I'm so curious why she asked me to accompany her years ago. Why always she's the one that call/text me first. Maybe she dropped some hints that she likes me. Could be... Flirting would be the last thing I wanna do, unless she is single again. It's kinda "radical" right? She still together with her boyfriend now and I bet she still loves him. My best bet now is to drop some hints that I like her, and see how she's going to respond. But what are some of the hints I should show her, aside from asking her out which is not very practical at the moment? I need some suggestions. Thank you very much! I wish I had suggestions for flirting but I don't . Have you looked online to see if there's anything helpful? The best I can offer is an opinion from a woman's perspective, of whatever you come up with. I can give an opinion of what you plan to try sounds cheesy or not. Sorry it's not more.
Author Wang101 Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 I wish I had suggestions for flirting but I don't . Have you looked online to see if there's anything helpful? The best I can offer is an opinion from a woman's perspective, of whatever you come up with. I can give an opinion of what you plan to try sounds cheesy or not. Sorry it's not more. Thanks for the reply. No flirting for now. I'm thinking to send her a song, like we used to do during our college days. I meant not an "i love you" kind of song. Just a song that could subtly convey a message that I like to be around her/ miss her/ like her. Do you think that is kind of cheesy? I'd love to hear from a woman's point of view.
cerridwen Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Thanks for the reply. No flirting for now. I'm thinking to send her a song, like we used to do during our college days. I meant not an "i love you" kind of song. Just a song that could subtly convey a message that I like to be around her/ miss her/ like her. Do you think that is kind of cheesy? I'd love to hear from a woman's point of view. I think it's a very nice idea. What a great guy you are. Good luck.
Author Wang101 Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 I've sent the song. Unfortunately she can't listen to it. Again, she told me about her problems with her boyfriend and started to ask my opinion how to handle the situation. She's definitely in doubt about her boyfriend. I can tell that. I hope mr. nice guy wont finish last.
cerridwen Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I've sent the song. Unfortunately she can't listen to it. Again, she told me about her problems with her boyfriend and started to ask my opinion how to handle the situation. She's definitely in doubt about her boyfriend. I can tell that. I hope mr. nice guy wont finish last. Wang, I'm really worried she has/will friendzone you. In my experience, we women pretty quickly decide who's friend material and who is dating material. The longer you're a friend to her, the less she sees you as a date. I'm not suggesting you stop being her friend (because that doesn't sound like what you want to do) but AM saying temper your romantic expectations.
Author Wang101 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Wang, I'm really worried she has/will friendzone you. In my experience, we women pretty quickly decide who's friend material and who is dating material. The longer you're a friend to her, the less she sees you as a date. I'm not suggesting you stop being her friend (because that doesn't sound like what you want to do) but AM saying temper your romantic expectations. So yesterday she told me how she's worried she will never meet a guy who willing to commit a serious relationship with her and possibly marry her. Sensing this is the best opportunity to act I replied half-jokingly something like "Don't worry I'll marry you someday". This could possibly the stupidest thing I ever say to a girl. She just gave me a big LOL. Thinking of it, I think she HAS friendzoned me. I dunno. It doesn't make sense a girl will tell you about her boyfriend if she likes you.
cerridwen Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 So yesterday she told me how she's worried she will never meet a guy who willing to commit a serious relationship with her and possibly marry her. Sensing this is the best opportunity to act I replied half-jokingly something like "Don't worry I'll marry you someday". This could possibly the stupidest thing I ever say to a girl. She just gave me a big LOL. Thinking of it, I think she HAS friendzoned me. I dunno. It doesn't make sense a girl will tell you about her boyfriend if she likes you.[/QUOTE] ...and ask for advice like you're one of her girlfriends. Well, Wang, you still kept it classy. Onward.
trueluV Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 i thought i could give my two cents? I'm an asian girl (a bit older than you though) so i thought i could help you out since it seems like you genuinely care about her. well, not sure yet if she friendzoned you, and i can talk about a boy/boyfriend to someone i like, in fact, when it seems like you and i don't have a possibility at the moment. it's comforting to talk about it, and plus i can see your reaction, but still i can like you. i know it might not make sense to you, but i've done that before. It's a different story if i'm single and you are single and i talk about boys. maybe she wanted to be with you but missed the timing and somehow ended up with this boyfriend who she's unsatisfied with. i'd say just be by her side, listen to her venting, and if you're afraid of being a "good friend" to her-then don't be too nice to her (as girls don't find that attractive) but just listen to her. flirting is not a good idea, not in the culture, i can't do it either. but maybe you can tell her to come visit you sometime when she gets a chance?? (since she lives in a different state) then you can see how she responds. good luck!
Author Wang101 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) ...and ask for advice like you're one of her girlfriends. Well, Wang, you still kept it classy. Onward. Haha...classy???. I can't be sure though. i thought i could give my two cents? I'm an asian girl (a bit older than you though) so i thought i could help you out since it seems like you genuinely care about her. well, not sure yet if she friendzoned you, and i can talk about a boy/boyfriend to someone i like, in fact, when it seems like you and i don't have a possibility at the moment. it's comforting to talk about it, and plus i can see your reaction, but still i can like you. i know it might not make sense to you, but i've done that before. It's a different story if i'm single and you are single and i talk about boys. maybe she wanted to be with you but missed the timing and somehow ended up with this boyfriend who she's unsatisfied with. i'd say just be by her side, listen to her venting, and if you're afraid of being a "good friend" to her-then don't be too nice to her (as girls don't find that attractive) but just listen to her. flirting is not a good idea, not in the culture, i can't do it either. but maybe you can tell her to come visit you sometime when she gets a chance?? (since she lives in a different state) then you can see how she responds. good luck! Hi. Thank you for the thought. You gave me hope! One thing I'm very sure is she's in doubt about her current boyfriend. And I felt that the only reason she's having this boyfriend is because she's afraid of loneliness. She always asked me how she's going to do with the problem. As if she's asking my opinion whether or not she should stay in the relationship. I don't want to be too nice to her but I really can't help it. When she said she's sick or sad, I'd normally contacted her and comfort her. I dunno, I really care about her even though she has a boyfriend at the moment. I feel like I've the responsibility to ensure she's fine, that's funny I know. From my past experience, when girls only think of me as a friend, they would repeatedly telling me "we're just friends" or "please let us just be friends" whenever I try to drop a hint that I like them. But this particular girl never told me that kind of stuff. When I half-jokingly said I'll marry her, she quickly texted me back "LOL". Oh, I remembered before she's dating her current boyfriend, she would ask me if I missed her or not when I started to text her. But I treated it only as a joke. Am I dumb?lol Yeah I agree flirting is not a norm in our culture, especially when she has a boyfriend now. But I'd definitely stay and listen to her problem. Edited May 10, 2011 by Wang101
Author Wang101 Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) UPDATE: So just now she started texting me, late at night. She told me that her boyfriend will meet her parents soon. I have to admit that I'm so envy of her boyfriend. But somehow she seems like not very happy about it. She loves her boyfriend but the only problem is he always leave her alone. When she told me she loves him, it breaks my heart. I almost tell her that I can't be that person whom she can talk about her boyfriend with anymore. I didn't tell her though because I'm worry this would spoil our friendship. Geez, I just can't describe how I feel right now... Wish someone can comfort me at moment like this... Gotta grab a beer and smoke... So, should I tell her I can't be the person she can talk about her boyfriend with anymore??? Edited May 14, 2011 by Wang101
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