Art_Critic Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I think your profile is good right now.. You need to tone down the silliness in your emails and write about something that they can respond too.. ask them a question or two after your spiel that they have to reply to. Some of the best emails I've written that got a response were simple short funny emails that in the end ask them a question.. they liked the humor and responded in kind.. Good Luck....
Art_Critic Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 2. When I saw "MJ" in your intro, I thought you meant pot Really, really good point ER...
iris219 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 But then I'm drawn to more down-to-earth, introverted guys, so my opinion may not be as important on that. What kind of guys do you go for generally, iris219? Hey zengirl, I don’t even know anymore! I tend to be attracted to guys who are confident, sexy, and mysterious (or at least in my opinion they are). I guess they would be considered introverts as well--that's probably why they seem mysterious. They aren't revealing too much at once. I like guys with depth. I tend to avoid a “what see, you is what get" kind of guy. I like discovering new things about people I think I know (not bad things, just new things). There has to be something unique about them and they need to have qualities I admire. My friends would describe my type as “different.” I'm thinking I may need to alter my type, or start being more open to other types. The sexy, mysterious aspect is missing from the OP’s profile for me.
thehead Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Whoever said it comes across hyperactive is right. Thin line between fun and annoying. Youre walking it right now. Remove the mj reference for sure. You dont strike me as gay (no homo ). Just temper the "hey party over here!!!" tone. Delete a few wacky responses and replace with sincere answers.
westernxer Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Get rid of the mom references. You had two if them in your life summary.
Author omgtv Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 So I just spent some time answering all the questions, and I did something I've never thought about doing before: I tried to answer some of them seriously and honestly! Granted, I'm walking a fine line, because I don't want the profile to come across as "I'm a deep thinker, look at me!". I also changed the photos around a bit. I realize I can't please everyone, but I'm really just trying to paint an accurate, fun, and memorable picture of myself. (I'm hoping to get two things across: 1. I don't take myself too seriously, and love to have fun *and* 2. I'm not just about having fun and partying , and I've got a lot going on in my little head.) Thoughts? Thanks again, all!
Lilmisus Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I don't know how it was before you got all the feedback, but for how your profile is right now, I actually like it. Enough to the point where if you messaged me I'd probably message you back . Guys with great sense of humors are just a huge plus in my book. Especially if they show that they know how to give the right mix of seriousness and goofiness. Right now..it looks like it's a good mix between the two. But, the pictures are really the only thing that would be holding me back. Not because you aren't attractive, because you are. It's because with the three pictures you're using, you have a silly look on your face in each one, which would make me wonder of your ability to be serious/charming. Put up a nice head shot photo of you, where you're trying to look more charming than you are silly. If you don't have one..find a friend who knows what they're doing to take a nice picture of you. If you don't want to do that, use the second photo that you have (the one of you smiling), and use that as your profile picture.
eerie_reverie Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I like your profile a lot more now. I probably still wouldn't message you back because I don't think we have the same sense of humor, but I think you'll be successful with other women.
LadyWriter Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 It seems very flippant and trying to hard to be witty. Some wit is good; too much seems fake. Online dating already feels a little bit fake anyway---no need to make it even more so. You also didn't answer every question, particularly the quite important "You should message me if" Your pictures all have the same goofy expression. Mix it up a bit. Talk about other things besides just dancing. You like dancing. We get it. But you don't seem like a real or well-rounded person from this. All of that said, supposedly as a guy, you're never going to get most people you message to write you back. I know a few who've had great success, but they're pretty awesome guys (cute enough and with awesome personalities---I'm not sure they're cuter than you, but they definitely had more layers to their profiles that described the awesome, authentic person they are). Maybe show a friend --- particularly a female friend --- this profile and see what she would add. This is the girl you should listen to! Excellent suggestions...exactly what I would have said Plus my first initial impression was that you appear to give off more of the best friend kind of vibe, which is cool, but women like a little mystery. We need something to intrigue us to want to know more.
whichwayisup Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 So here's the deal. I've been on OkCupid for a little while, have sent more than 50 messages, and have gotten *1* response. I have to believe that something is wrong with my profile, or the messages I'm sending. (Either that, or OkCupid is so guy-heavy in San Francisco that this happens to everyone. But 1/50 seems pretty extreme.) Let's start with my profile: any obvious red flags or turn-offs? Any non-obvious things that turn *you* off? Could the photos be better? (People do generally look at my profile after reading my messages, for what it's worth.) http://bit.ly/jKQYSj If there aren't enough issues with my profile, I'd be happy to copy/paste some messages to get feedback on those. Thanks everyone! Ever hear of short, sweet and to the point? You've filled in everything with so much detail! Say less, be abit mysterious. Seems like you're trying to be too witty, too funny and it's not coming off that way. Sorry, but I do want to be honest with you, so don't take this personally I'm just trying to help.
Author omgtv Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Ever hear of short, sweet and to the point? You've filled in everything with so much detail! Say less, be abit mysterious. Seems like you're trying to be too witty, too funny and it's not coming off that way. Sorry, but I do want to be honest with you, so don't take this personally I'm just trying to help. I can't win You should've seen it before! I don't know how it was before you got all the feedback, but for how your profile is right now, I actually like it. Enough to the point where if you messaged me I'd probably message you back . Guys with great sense of humors are just a huge plus in my book. Especially if they show that they know how to give the right mix of seriousness and goofiness. Right now..it looks like it's a good mix between the two. But, the pictures are really the only thing that would be holding me back. Not because you aren't attractive, because you are. It's because with the three pictures you're using, you have a silly look on your face in each one, which would make me wonder of your ability to be serious/charming. Put up a nice head shot photo of you, where you're trying to look more charming than you are silly. If you don't have one..find a friend who knows what they're doing to take a nice picture of you. If you don't want to do that, use the second photo that you have (the one of you smiling), and use that as your profile picture. Just changed the picture again: how's the new one?
whichwayisup Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I can't win You should've seen it before! I didn't see this earlier.. Well, I still think you being abit mysterious is a good idea. It's alot to read on your profile. the picture is much better now. the other one was abit too...JB??
Author omgtv Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I didn't see this earlier.. Well, I still think you being abit mysterious is a good idea. It's alot to read on your profile. Oh, I'm not blaming you at all, and I do appreciate the honest feedback. My comment was mainly intended to get laughs from the people who've been on this thread since the beginning, since one of the initial problems was that it was short with no content I'm sure I'll never have the perfect profile, but I do think I've made great strides. That said, keep the feedback coming!
Lilmisus Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Just changed the picture again: how's the new one? It's pretty good. Much better! But I have this annoying feeling that if you just get the right light and the right angle, you'd have an absolutely amazing picture, and you'd be beating the ladies off with a stick. Maybe it's just the photographer in me speaking, and it's because I've done people's head shots before (I worked with each person for quite some time, just taking picture after picture till I found the right one that worked for them, quite satisfying, really), I dunno. But regardless of that annoying feeling, this picture seems like a real winner to me!
Knittress Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Actually, I'm hard pressed to find anything I DON'T find attractive about you. :>) Ok, you're a tad younger than ideal, but... meh!
Author omgtv Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Actually, I'm hard pressed to find anything I DON'T find attractive about you. :>) Ok, you're a tad younger than ideal, but... meh! :blush: This thread has been ridiculously educational in terms of how people (esp. women) read online dating profiles. I had no idea that they really get read, what types of assumptions are made, etc. Awesome stuff. You all rock!
Author omgtv Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 Omg...I think I'm in love! Gah, you sound so awesome! Aww! I was going to let this thread die, but I had to say thanks for making me feel really good
dispatch3d Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 take the resume out: too much information its personal stuff you aren't applying for a job QUALIFYING way too much (in pickup slang). Imagine if a girl wanted to be your girlfriend, and everything was going great then she submitted her resume to you. Wtf right? Is she desperate? Why does she think she needs to submit a resume, etc. My point is your the ****, so there's no need for giving a resume. If you want to talk about stuff you enjoy, list 4-5 things that might strike a commonality. I would also be concerned about the types of women who want a resume (GOLD DIGGERS, SUPERFICIAL, ETC.). don't tell people private stuff, like you are into self improvement. It's private, none of their business, etc. Women tend to be into how things look, and if you're willing to say private things about yourself, maybe you'll say private things about them? overall you write a better profile than I could ever write. So to that end good job! I saw earlier copies and this thing is wayyyyy better than before.
Author omgtv Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 take the resume out: too much information its personal stuff you aren't applying for a job QUALIFYING way too much (in pickup slang). Imagine if a girl wanted to be your girlfriend, and everything was going great then she submitted her resume to you. Wtf right? Is she desperate? Why does she think she needs to submit a resume, etc. My point is your the ****, so there's no need for giving a resume. If you want to talk about stuff you enjoy, list 4-5 things that might strike a commonality. I would also be concerned about the types of women who want a resume (GOLD DIGGERS, SUPERFICIAL, ETC.). don't tell people private stuff, like you are into self improvement. It's private, none of their business, etc. Women tend to be into how things look, and if you're willing to say private things about yourself, maybe you'll say private things about them? overall you write a better profile than I could ever write. So to that end good job! I saw earlier copies and this thing is wayyyyy better than before. Thank you! The resume was supposed to be joke, because clearly no self-respecting individual would want to post a resume to a dating site. But clearly the joke part didn't come across: whoops! Resume resumed. And I got rid of the self-improvement stuff.
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