Yeahsussu Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Hey all. Me and my ex for 2 years broke up about 3-4 months ago. We´ve never done the "no contact" thing, we´ve still been in contact quite often after our breakup. We live in different countries as well so there is no chance we would bump into each other.. Of course we´ve been having less and less contact for the past few weeks, I´ve started a new job and had tons of things to think about. It still ment a lot to me that he texted me and asked how my day was and how my new job is going etc. But now he´s suddenly not responding to my texts! During these past four days i´ve sent him 2 texts, just wondering what he´s doing and what his plans for the weekend is. No reply, which is very strange as he always normally answer. I sent him a small birthday gift last week but I haven´t even gotten a thank you from him, even though I know he should´ve got it already. He´s just being so weird? I´m not gonna send him any text messages until he gives me some kind of response. I just think it´s a bit rude to not respond, or??
VicJay79 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Yeahsussa, I am exactly like your Ex. When I break up, i break up for good, and move on. You just need to understand that guys and girls act differently. I would suggest you give him the space that he/she needs and just try to move on yourself. If things were meant to be they will work themselves out. Hey all. Me and my ex for 2 years broke up about 3-4 months ago. We´ve never done the "no contact" thing, we´ve still been in contact quite often after our breakup. We live in different countries as well so there is no chance we would bump into each other.. Of course we´ve been having less and less contact for the past few weeks, I´ve started a new job and had tons of things to think about. It still ment a lot to me that he texted me and asked how my day was and how my new job is going etc. But now he´s suddenly not responding to my texts! During these past four days i´ve sent him 2 texts, just wondering what he´s doing and what his plans for the weekend is. No reply, which is very strange as he always normally answer. I sent him a small birthday gift last week but I haven´t even gotten a thank you from him, even though I know he should´ve got it already. He´s just being so weird? I´m not gonna send him any text messages until he gives me some kind of response. I just think it´s a bit rude to not respond, or??
Author Yeahsussu Posted May 1, 2011 Author Posted May 1, 2011 Yeah I do understand why people do the "no contact" thing, but that was just something we wouldn´t do. We´re still friends, or at least i thought we were, and care deeply for each other. He was pretty much the one who initiated the breakup, but in the end it was somewhat mutual. He did respond this afternoon, it was just a short msg about him being busy for the past few days, being on a concert and stuff, and forgot to answer my text....... If he wanted to cut all contact why didn´t he do it in the beginning then, and not after 4 months? I hope he at least have the balls to tell me he´s seeing someone if that´s the case, and stop pretending to be so sweet to me. Hate mind games... Yeahsussa, I am exactly like your Ex. When I break up, i break up for good, and move on. You just need to understand that guys and girls act differently. I would suggest you give him the space that he/she needs and just try to move on yourself. If things were meant to be they will work themselves out.
VicJay79 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Yeahsussu, As a guy in this situation a while back I can probably say he is trying to figure out how to come to terms with this situation. You will need to give him space for him to figure out what he wants from you, your friendship, and from himself. When I was in this situation, I was panicking and trying to figure things out. Do I stay with the girl, Do I date other people, How much do I value this person etc etc. Give him space and don't text him anymore. Let him come to you, he needs to figure things out, and you deserve more then what he is giving you. He is trying to act like its not a big deal, but it is to you. Therefore it is a big deal. Yeah I do understand why people do the "no contact" thing, but that was just something we wouldn´t do. We´re still friends, or at least i thought we were, and care deeply for each other. He was pretty much the one who initiated the breakup, but in the end it was somewhat mutual. He did respond this afternoon, it was just a short msg about him being busy for the past few days, being on a concert and stuff, and forgot to answer my text....... If he wanted to cut all contact why didn´t he do it in the beginning then, and not after 4 months? I hope he at least have the balls to tell me he´s seeing someone if that´s the case, and stop pretending to be so sweet to me. Hate mind games...
Author Yeahsussu Posted May 1, 2011 Author Posted May 1, 2011 VicJay79, Thanks for your response, it is very much appreciated to get a guy´s perspective on this. Now when you say it, it actually makes sence. He´s got a lot of stuff going on atm. He´s gonna move to another city and start a new job (that´s pretty much the reason we broke up). I guess I´m just scared he´s gonna forget about me. I mean, we live on opposite sides of the world, it´s not like we can just go out for a drink. I support him in what he does, even though I didn´t like the idea of him moving to another city and doing this job, but it´s something he´s wanted to do for a long time and I don´t have the right to stop him from following his dreams. We´ve kinda been acting like we´re together even though we´ve broken up, and I know that it has to stop at some time. As you said, I´m not gonna initiate contact with him, if he texts me first that´s fine. But he´s been playing mind games before and I truly hope he won´t do it again.... Yeahsussu, As a guy in this situation a while back I can probably say he is trying to figure out how to come to terms with this situation. You will need to give him space for him to figure out what he wants from you, your friendship, and from himself. When I was in this situation, I was panicking and trying to figure things out. Do I stay with the girl, Do I date other people, How much do I value this person etc etc. Give him space and don't text him anymore. Let him come to you, he needs to figure things out, and you deserve more then what he is giving you. He is trying to act like its not a big deal, but it is to you. Therefore it is a big deal.
VicJay79 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Yeahsussu, Long Distance relationships are really hard. You seem like a really nice person, and I am sure when he decided to end things that was not made at the drop of a hat. You are spot on correct with your understanding of the situation in terms of him being busy. In order to avoid mind games, I would suggest that you treat this as a 'true' breakup. Understand and accept the fact that he will move on if he doesn't realize what he lost, and so will you. Avoid calling him to much, because that only causes you to look clingy. Keep your conversations short and sweet. If you want this relationship to have a chance he needs to know what it means to not have you in his life. VicJay79, Thanks for your response, it is very much appreciated to get a guy´s perspective on this. Now when you say it, it actually makes sence. He´s got a lot of stuff going on atm. He´s gonna move to another city and start a new job (that´s pretty much the reason we broke up). I guess I´m just scared he´s gonna forget about me. I mean, we live on opposite sides of the world, it´s not like we can just go out for a drink. I support him in what he does, even though I didn´t like the idea of him moving to another city and doing this job, but it´s something he´s wanted to do for a long time and I don´t have the right to stop him from following his dreams. We´ve kinda been acting like we´re together even though we´ve broken up, and I know that it has to stop at some time. As you said, I´m not gonna initiate contact with him, if he texts me first that´s fine. But he´s been playing mind games before and I truly hope he won´t do it again....
Author Yeahsussu Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Thanks for your response. You kinda put my thoughts into words. He actually sent me a text today, just a very random one telling me how his weekend was, not calling me babe or darling or anything (which he normally does), and not putting any "xxx" in the end. It just feels so different now, like it took a strange turn last week, all of a sudden. He´s different now. I´m glad I have my job to go to, otherwise I would go nuts overthinking things Long distance relationship is hard, and he told me before we broke up that he can´t go through that again. That´s why it´s been a bit confusing for me that he still acts like were together, sending me sweet texts etc. But apparently that has changed now, after 4 months. It´s just hard to let go, even though we´re still friends it´s not the same anymore. Yeahsussu, Long Distance relationships are really hard. You seem like a really nice person, and I am sure when he decided to end things that was not made at the drop of a hat. You are spot on correct with your understanding of the situation in terms of him being busy. In order to avoid mind games, I would suggest that you treat this as a 'true' breakup. Understand and accept the fact that he will move on if he doesn't realize what he lost, and so will you. Avoid calling him to much, because that only causes you to look clingy. Keep your conversations short and sweet. If you want this relationship to have a chance he needs to know what it means to not have you in his life.
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