confused611 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 so i broke up with my boyfriend of two years about 6 months ago. initially, i asked for a break, and at the end of the break, decided it would be better if we ended things. we ended on amicable terms, i still loved him and he still loved me, but the timing wasn't exactly right for us. we left the door open for the future, when the timing was better. we remained very close friends, but in the meantime, i started dating someone else. it was nothing serious, but definitely made me think i was moving on from my ex. he wasn't seeing anyone at the time. THEN things with my guy kind of fizzled, which was fine. i wasn't looking for anything serious. but in the meantime, i came to learn that my ex had met another girl. she lives out of state and they hooked up ONCE, but when i called to ask him about it, he started to delineate all the reasons in which she was better than me, and how she has all the things that i'm lacking. not only did that utterly break my heart to hear, but also made me question whether or not i am really, truly over my ex like i thought i was. he didnt' say it in a mean way; i think he thought he could be that honest about things with me. now i don't know what to do. i don't want to beg for him back just because he might be with someone else, but i also can't stop thinking about what i lost by breaking up with him. he says that it can't be anything serious with this girl because she isn't in the same state, but the fact that he seems to have completely moved on from me in such a short period of time (less than a month) makes me wonder if he even still loves me anymore. he says he still wants to leave the door open for the future, but right now to stay friends even though he cares about me and i was his first serious relationship (we actually even lived together). i said i was fine with that because i was FINE with being friends with him...until he hurt me by telling me about this girl in the way that he did. do you think he's really moved on from me that quickly and how do you think i should handle the situation from here?
confusedak Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Okay, First off. When he told you that girl was better then you and stuff. I have heard that before. and in my opinion thats just to make you jelous. ya know? He may or may not mean it, but maybe he was saying that to see what kind of reaction he could get from you? I dont think that he is over you. I have been friends with alot of guys( dont get along with to many girls) And i always heard them say to get over one you gotta go to the next. Guys gotta give themselves something todo to not think about it. Maybe when you hooked up with that one guy he felt the same way? you moved on to fast? Maybe all these actions were out of anger and maybe he was thinking... 2 can play this game. And theres always more fish in the sea!! hes not the only one!
SKEETERZX Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Nope, you broke up with him so he is probably saying all those things to make you jealous. You noticed how he told YOU that it can't be serious with this other girl because she lives in another state. He made a point to let you know that. If you want to get back with him, you should tell him how you feel, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and not because you are jealous and don't want to see him with anyone else even if you don't want to get back together with him. It's your place to try and make things right and reconcile if that's what you want to do since you broke up with him. If you came out and told him you want to work things out, his answer will be different than what he offered up to you about being friends and leaving the door open for the future. IMO
Author confused611 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Nope, you broke up with him so he is probably saying all those things to make you jealous. You noticed how he told YOU that it can't be serious with this other girl because she lives in another state. He made a point to let you know that. If you want to get back with him, you should tell him how you feel, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and not because you are jealous and don't want to see him with anyone else even if you don't want to get back together with him. It's your place to try and make things right and reconcile if that's what you want to do since you broke up with him. If you came out and told him you want to work things out, his answer will be different than what he offered up to you about being friends and leaving the door open for the future. IMO but if he got the reaction he wanted and i made it very clear that i DO care, then why did he go on to say: i don't want to get back together with you right now, but let's keep it open for the future? does he really want me to beg for him back, even after he expressly told me he's not ready to get back together right now?
GreenVista Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 You broke up with him.. he can't just be left in limbo forever, and you can't expect that of him either. Of course he is going to meet other people. He is saying these things because HE has to get over you, and making the new option a better one in his mind is one way to do this. If you want him back, you have a window to ask, which is slowly closing every day. Once its closed then you have zero chance, no matter how much he loved you. He will move on, and the process has started.
Author confused611 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 You broke up with him.. he can't just be left in limbo forever, and you can't expect that of him either. Of course he is going to meet other people. He is saying these things because HE has to get over you, and making the new option a better one in his mind is one way to do this. If you want him back, you have a window to ask, which is slowly closing every day. Once its closed then you have zero chance, no matter how much he loved you. He will move on, and the process has started. i know i can't expect him to wait forever. and i get that it's not fair to expect him to never move on. but this has made me reevaluate if i'm really ok with just being friends, or if the thought of really losing him has me realizing what i used to have. the thing is, he told me that it can't be serious with this girl ebcause she's out of state...but i'm still scared that if i asked for him back, even if he said yes, he would still have this girl on his mind all the time. that wouldn't lead to a very fulfilling reunion...
GreenVista Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I think that you don't want him back. If you did you wouldn't be asking about this, you would be texting him right now asking to get back together. You are trying to give yourself logical reasons as to why things wouldn't work. If you want him back.. do something about it right now, if not I can assure you it isn't going to work out as friends in the short/medium term.
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Story simplified:Girl A breaks up with Boy B. They "just friends." Girl A dates other guy. "Nothing serious."Romance fizzles. Boy B hooks up with another girl. Girl A gets jelly.Posts online... "I was FINE being just 'friends' until he hooked up with another girl who he says is BETTER...wahhh is he over me? How hurtful! What do I do? I might want him back now!"Girl, it has already been 6 months. Sort out your own feelings before you try to figure his out. Move in or move on.
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