loverboy1984 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 So Its been 7wks. Im thinking more clearly, logical, and not in pain. Im getting on with my days better. Much better than week 1 and 2. But I feel like I havent gotten much better since week 5. I still think about it everyday. Im curious for answers. I go through phases of not caring and feeling great then to feeling a little empty. I still wonder if shes happy without me or relieved because im not in her life to argue about stupid things. Im keeping busy studying for an important exam, but it keeps popping in my head and I hate it. (this part is gonna sound stupid but trust me Ive never done this before) I talked to a psychic who surprised me by telling me alot of things without me telling her anything. Ive never done this before but it was in my first few weeks and needed something. So anyways the psychic told me my ex is not doing well emotionally, she still loves me and she has alot of negativity around her. Her friends are the ones pulling her away. I believe this because my ex told me her friends didnt like me and have told her to break up with me. Anyways the psychic also told me that her friends have tried to hook her up with guys but she wasnt having it because she wants me, but shes confused and not thinking clearly. Lastly the psychic told me she will eventually come back to me because shes happiest with me. I take all this with a grain of salt but its weird how she told me all that. And knowing my ex I know that I made her happy and the way she broke up she came across very confused, had no reasons, and when I tried to guess to the reasons why she kept saying maybe to everything. Now I know you may all think this is why Im being held back and it may be true but I think its much more than that. I know I can find someone else, I dont need anyone and dont need to be tied down but as much as I want to hate her and kill the thought of her in my head I cant. Im disgusted with myself because I feel like im weaker than I thought. I guess the thing thats holding me back the most is not having answers, or closure. I know she will eventually contact me, and I have rehearsed the conversation many times in my head when im driving, daydreaming, or sleeping. Its driving me nuts. I cant do anything about it and not looking to break NC but just cant seem to be able get any better than this. Once Im done with this test Im going to vegas with friends then traveling and moving to start my rotations somewhere new so hopefully then my mind will not be on this, but it is now and its driving me nuts.
LovelyMiss Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I wish you luck, and hope that vacation will make you feel better. Simply go out and do what you heard desires... We all have set backs or stop in our tracks from time to time when we break up with someone... But I think you will be over that soon. By the way, can you introduce me to the psychic? I would like some answers too!
turokturok5 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 So Its been 7wks. Im thinking more clearly, logical, and not in pain. Im getting on with my days better. Much better than week 1 and 2. But I feel like I havent gotten much better since week 5. I still think about it everyday. Im curious for answers. I go through phases of not caring and feeling great then to feeling a little empty. I still wonder if shes happy without me or relieved because im not in her life to argue about stupid things. Im keeping busy studying for an important exam, but it keeps popping in my head and I hate it. (this part is gonna sound stupid but trust me Ive never done this before) I talked to a psychic who surprised me by telling me alot of things without me telling her anything. Ive never done this before but it was in my first few weeks and needed something. So anyways the psychic told me my ex is not doing well emotionally, she still loves me and she has alot of negativity around her. Her friends are the ones pulling her away. I believe this because my ex told me her friends didnt like me and have told her to break up with me. Anyways the psychic also told me that her friends have tried to hook her up with guys but she wasnt having it because she wants me, but shes confused and not thinking clearly. Lastly the psychic told me she will eventually come back to me because shes happiest with me. I take all this with a grain of salt but its weird how she told me all that. And knowing my ex I know that I made her happy and the way she broke up she came across very confused, had no reasons, and when I tried to guess to the reasons why she kept saying maybe to everything. Now I know you may all think this is why Im being held back and it may be true but I think its much more than that. I know I can find someone else, I dont need anyone and dont need to be tied down but as much as I want to hate her and kill the thought of her in my head I cant. Im disgusted with myself because I feel like im weaker than I thought. I guess the thing thats holding me back the most is not having answers, or closure. I know she will eventually contact me, and I have rehearsed the conversation many times in my head when im driving, daydreaming, or sleeping. Its driving me nuts. I cant do anything about it and not looking to break NC but just cant seem to be able get any better than this. Once Im done with this test Im going to vegas with friends then traveling and moving to start my rotations somewhere new so hopefully then my mind will not be on this, but it is now and its driving me nuts. wow...this is exactly what im going through exept it's been 12 weeks. i was pretty messed up week 1 and two, went to the other side of the country to get away from everything, she knew it was because of what happened (big mistake telling her! haha) but yeah, i was dumped too with no reasons, just "you made me really happy, but i make you angry all the time, we're just not meant to be but it's not your fault" she seemed really confused, her best friend told me that she was cut up about it for a while and that her other friends had encouraged her to break it off with me. But exactly like you said, when im driving, sitting at home or whatever i play scenarios in my head where she comes back to me, or contacts me or anything and how i would react, how she would react to my reaction etc etc. But yeah, im pretty much in the exact same position as you, exept i didn't go to a psychic
sonic3 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Don't beat yourself up because your still thinking about her man, you will probably think of her for quite some time. When you can think about her and it doesn't affect your mood then you have made a big achievement. I spent weeks trying to block her out of my head, but it just made me feel angry at myself because I couldn't do it, so I just accepted it, and actually started thinking of her less as a result. The more you try not to do something, the more you will do it. Just accept you'll think about her for a while and end any internal battles you have with yourself, it doesn't make you weak at all. As for finding answers, just let go. You'll probably never understand a women's reasons and you'll find yourself in analytical hell trying to work it out, she probably doesn't even know herself and you'll just drag the recovery process out longer.
nana841121 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 quote one movie line from Woody Allen's movie <you will meet a tall dark stranger>-----"sometimes illusions work better than medicine" it seems a little inappropriate and irrelevant to your issue. Forgive my whimsical thought to share this movie line here. In some strange and personal way, you remind me of this quote
Movingthrough Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 (edited) So Its been 7wks. Im thinking more clearly, logical, and not in pain. Im getting on with my days better. Much better than week 1 and 2. But I feel like I havent gotten much better since week 5. I still think about it everyday. Im curious for answers. I go through phases of not caring and feeling great then to feeling a little empty. I still wonder if shes happy without me or relieved because im not in her life to argue about stupid things. Im keeping busy studying for an important exam, but it keeps popping in my head and I hate it. (this part is gonna sound stupid but trust me Ive never done this before) I talked to a psychic who surprised me by telling me alot of things without me telling her anything. Ive never done this before but it was in my first few weeks and needed something. So anyways the psychic told me my ex is not doing well emotionally, she still loves me and she has alot of negativity around her. Her friends are the ones pulling her away. I believe this because my ex told me her friends didnt like me and have told her to break up with me. Anyways the psychic also told me that her friends have tried to hook her up with guys but she wasnt having it because she wants me, but shes confused and not thinking clearly. Lastly the psychic told me she will eventually come back to me because shes happiest with me. I take all this with a grain of salt but its weird how she told me all that. And knowing my ex I know that I made her happy and the way she broke up she came across very confused, had no reasons, and when I tried to guess to the reasons why she kept saying maybe to everything. Now I know you may all think this is why Im being held back and it may be true but I think its much more than that. I know I can find someone else, I dont need anyone and dont need to be tied down but as much as I want to hate her and kill the thought of her in my head I cant. Im disgusted with myself because I feel like im weaker than I thought. I guess the thing thats holding me back the most is not having answers, or closure. I know she will eventually contact me, and I have rehearsed the conversation many times in my head when im driving, daydreaming, or sleeping. Its driving me nuts. I cant do anything about it and not looking to break NC but just cant seem to be able get any better than this. Once Im done with this test Im going to vegas with friends then traveling and moving to start my rotations somewhere new so hopefully then my mind will not be on this, but it is now and its driving me nuts. I know what you are going through, and to be honest i think there is some truth in what the psychic said. I dont doubt that type of stuff i mean there can be a little truth in anything. I think one of things you need to do is first of all stop with the time, it is what it is and time doesnt matter, because one day you will wake up and not care anymore, it will happen out of nowhere. Another thing that has helped me is accepting what you feel. Lately i have had a rough time too, i "heard" some things that happened with my ex when we split, basically the typical she moved right on but they moved on real fast from what i heard, so in the months she was telling me that she still had feelings - she was traveling and having sex with another guy. Hey we were broken up but that is disrespectful and has been hard for me to get over. What i have been doing is every time she pops in my head whether its a thought of missing her or being angry, i just say to myself "yep, i do miss her some but thats not what i want in my life overall". Its funny how letting your thoughts come and go without making them a big deal will really tone them down. I read once to look at your thoughts like you are sitting on the side of a river watching your thoughts flow by and just accept that they will come and go and thats it. I know that if my ex called right now that i would not pick up, or call her back, thats how i have grown, but i still think of her. Last night i had a dream where she walked up, we put our faces together like we were gonna kiss - but we didnt. It was showing me personally that while the feelings are there still a little, this is not what i want and probably not what she wants. Sometimes accepting that things are what they are, and feelings are normal, helps a lot. I hope you start feeling better, PM me if you need to talk. Edited May 4, 2011 by Movingthrough
Author loverboy1984 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Thanks for all your replies. I actually feel better now. I still think of her everyday but it doesnt bother me anymore. Funny thing is I have a feeling that she will contact me by the end of this month. Im not counting on it but so far my intuition has been right. Infact it was my intuition that landed me in this current situation. For those who dont know we are in a LDR across the country from each other. one day I got this terrible feeling and when I closed my eyes I saw her at a bar kissing someone. I texted her and asked her if she could call me. She called me later and I asked her and she said she was drunk and kissed a guy at a bar right before I texted her. she regretted it but then later asked for a break which lead to the break up. It was so crazy that I found out by just a feeling. anyways Im feeling better every day but there are a few things that still affect me. The other day I called my moms office, which me ex used to work at a long time a go, and I got the voicemail. Well its her voice on the voicemail which made me feel really sad hearing it on my phone. So yea the triggers are still there. Even certain songs get to me. Approaching week 8
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