Myst Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 So I just had a date with a guy on Friday night. It was just a first date (i met him on a dating site) and things were going okay-ish. We were talking about the books we liked and then he says 'if you want I can show you some of my books at my place, its just 5 min from here'. I say 'no' of course but he asks again. I say 'no' again. Date over, he tries to give me a lift to the train station but I say Id rather walk. So it got me thinking and laughing, of all the lamest things guys have said to me to try to get me into bed. None has worked obviously:laugh:. They have all started with the phrase 'Come over to my place cos:' - 'Oh I just want to see how your face looks when you wake up' - I want to make you feel better from your last breakup - 'So we can talk all night until we fall asleep' Thats all Ive heard that I can remember. Has anyone had worst than this?
Rinnix Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 A friend of mine had a date, she was meeting him at a coffee shop. He comes in with his bed head hair, sloppy shirt and pajama pants. He looks at her and says "You'll be used to seeing this in the morning." She left.
Sabali Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I really think it is quite a leap to think someone that invites you to their house and trying to get you into his bed. Now if he said "come over to my place so I can show you the books on my bed that will be propping your head head up while I bang you" then you would have something. He could have just wanted to make out on the couch or just impress you with a nice place that he keeps. Who knows... He could have been trying to get you into his bed but it is all speculation until you see the results.
Sabali Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 A friend of mine had a date, she was meeting him at a coffee shop. He comes in with his bed head hair, sloppy shirt and pajama pants. He looks at her and says "You'll be used to seeing this in the morning." She left. Coward.Why didn't he just show up and whip it out?
Art_Critic Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Every time a woman has tried to get me in bed it has worked
alethean Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 "Come over to my place because I'm horny." Well...he got points for honesty.
Nexus One Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 (edited) Situation 1: I once lost a friend of mine in the sense that I couldn't find him. We were walking somewhere, I don't even remember where we were going, but at some point on our way I lost him. I looked f*cking EVERYWHERE. I thought something bad had happened to him. But there was one place in the area I hadn't looked, some bushes. So just to make sure I went into those bushes to look for him and there I found him getting a blowjob from some random girl. He was facing me and said "Hey Nexus" the girl turned around at me and asked: "You want a blowjob too?" I replied: "No thanks", then turned around and walked away. The thing I still don't understand until today is, how the hell did he pick up that girl so fast. Sure I lost track of him at some point, but I never saw him talking to some girl or even a hint that he was flirting with a girl or any hint whatsoever. One moment we're on our way walking somewhere and then BAM, some girl is s*cking his d*ck. And this wasn't the only time that happened. Situation 2: I was once walking through some meadow where the grass was really high. I stumbled on a faint acquaintance banging his fling. He sees me, the guy stands up: "Hey Nexus, you wanna have a go too?" Girl looks at me like "Sure have a go, I don't mind", I replied: "No thanks." Situation 3: A group of girls once asked me to come with them. Not knowing what they wanted from me they lead me into some bushes. Amongst that group were blonde twins. In the bushes those twins dropped their pants(or skirts I don't remember). And with all the other girls watching their brunette ringleader friend said: "Lick them." I replied: "No thanks." That brunette didn't want to let me go though, she was really f*cking pushy and tried to prevent me from leaving. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I think it was something like: "You guys wait here, I'll be right back." and then I just left. Ever since then I tried to avoid that brunette, because I got bad vibes from her, I think she had control issues. Edited April 30, 2011 by Nexus One
Sabali Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Situation 1: I once lost a friend of mine in the sense that I couldn't find him. We were walking somewhere, I don't even remember where we were going, but at some point on our way I lost him. I looked f*cking EVERYWHERE. I thought something bad had happened to him. But there was one place in the area I hadn't looked, some bushes. So just to make sure I went into those bushes to look for him and there I found him getting a blowjob from some random girl. He was facing me and said "Hey Nexus" the girl turned around at me and asked: "You want a blowjob too?" I replied: "No thanks", then turned around and walked away. The thing I still don't understand until today is, how the hell did he pick up that girl so fast. Sure I lost track of him at some point, but I never saw him talking to some girl or even a hint that he was flirting with a girl or any hint whatsoever. One moment we're on our way walking somewhere and then BAM, some girl is s*cking his d*ck. And this wasn't the only time that happened. Situation 2: I was once walking through some meadow where the grass was really high. I stumbled on a faint acquaintance banging his fling. He sees me, the guy stands up: "Hey Nexus, you wanna have a go too?" Girl looks at me like "Sure have a go, I don't mind", I replied: "No thanks." Situation 3: A group of girls once asked me to come with them. Not knowing what they wanted from me they lead me into some bushes. Amongst that group were blonde twins. In the bushes those twins dropped their pants(or skirts I don't remember). And with all the other girls watching their brunette ringleader friend said: "Lick them." I replied: "No thanks." That brunette didn't want to let me go though, she was really f*cking pushy and tried to prevent me from leaving. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I think it was something like: "You guys wait here, I'll be right back." and then I just left. Ever since then I tried to avoid that brunette, because I got bad vibes from her, I think she had control issues. And the moral of the story here is that you must live around lush vegetation to even have a chance at getting laid.
SingVoice Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I had a guy who didn't like cats....he said to me in this cutesy fake voice "oh i just want to take your cats home with me!" He was just trying to say "all the right things" to get into my pants. But using my cats??? Seriously??? I sent him home after that. I never heard from him again.
Nexus One Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 And the moral of the story here is that you must live around lush vegetation to even have a chance at getting laid. Sharp observation.
sanskrit Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 "I ran into an ex while out tonight and he was rude to me, can you come over?" (It was 3AM and I was 30 miles away... yes I was weak and went).
SmileFace Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 "You seem stressed, sex will help that" "Want to come back to my apartment and watch a movie, I am moving so I only have a bed there" Yea, I can so go on...
mr.dream merchant Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 "There's something about the way you walk." I pounded her anyways.
SmileFace Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 "There's something about the way you walk." WTH, was that after?...Bwhahaha
mr.dream merchant Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 WTH, was that after?...Bwhahaha That was her pick up line. A week later I was diving in it. Probably the hottest piece of ass I've put my penis in on this planet. 29 year old single mother. Messed it up though, one night she wanted me to stay after but I picked up and left right after I finished lmfao. She was so pissed.
Professor X Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 #1 Me: All this could be yours for one low, low price! #2 Me: Are you a parking ticket? Her: What? Me: You got fine written all over you. #3 Me: Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away! #4 Me: Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel! #5 Me: Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love. #6 Me: Coffee? Tea? Me? #7 Me: (Close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this). #8 Me: Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile? #9 Me: Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes? #10 Me: Hi, my name's Right...Mr. Right.
Professor X Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 This reminds me of that commercial I am getting really tired of. It is the one with the supermodel angels who fall to earth and remove their halos to forsake their divine nature for the guy who applied some body spray. Sounds like "Axe" body spray commercial, they usually overkill it
johan Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 That was her pick up line. A week later I was diving in it. Probably the hottest piece of ass I've put my penis in on this planet. 29 year old single mother. Messed it up though, one night she wanted me to stay after but I picked up and left right after I finished lmfao. She was so pissed. I idolize you.
daphne Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I'm lonely. I miss you already. Can you come back and stay the night? I promise I'll be a gentleman. My ac was out and it was hot as hell. He was 22 and beautiful. I overlooked the cheese factor because I can't sleep in 80 degree temperatures. But he actually was pretty much a gentleman.
Chitowngirl Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 him: "I think I left my stove on. It'll only take a minute, I live down the street." Stupid me said ok because I didn't want his house to burn down....and yes he tried everything to get me to sleep with him.. lifting up his shirt to show me his abs..he offered to massage me.. said I should take a bath and he'd pour me wine.
daphne Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 3rd date. Kissed good night in the car. Guy asks "Can I come in and get a drink of water? I'm really thirsty." We both laughed but gave him a glass of water and sent him on his way.
somedude81 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 So the moral of the thread is, it doesn't matter what the hell you say to a girl. If she wants to sleep with you even the dumbest reason will work.
ConfusedCarolina Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 On a second date, he gave me a goodnight kiss & said, "Mmmmmmmm, you taste hormonal."! It actually worked cuz it sounded very awkwardly geeky. Not the kind of smooth thing a player would say. Plus it had been 7 months for me .
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