Sivok Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Last night I was talking to my girl and the subject of jewelry came up. She let me know she had a lot of pearls, custom made necklaces, etc that were from her exes that she wears on special occasions. This bothers me a little. I understand that she used to be another man's, but I don't want a constant reminder of that every time she wears those... And even when she puts them on when im not around, they'll bring back memories from her past relationships. I know the stuff I had from exes used to do that, but I tossed them out. Question is, would it be out of line to let her know this bothers me? I'm a bit surprised it affects me, as the past is the past, but I can't help how I feel. Thoughts?
somethingsimple Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I can see why something like this would upset you. I think, you should bring it up for the sole reason of communication. In my opinion, I think its a little bit of insecurity. Women like jewelry, unless your prepared to replaced those, I think its a little unfair to ask her to toss them. At the end of the day, she's with you and not them. Let her jewelry remind you that they failed and that you're WINNING!
Pfiend101 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 how long have you been dating? I can see where your coming from but I would probably let it go. As long as she doesnt maintain contact with her Ex's everything will be ok. IMO Maybe you should buy her some different jewelry that she can wear that reminds her of you. Assuming you've been dating long enough to warrant such a thing.
Irishlove Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 You have no right to ask her to get rid of gifts. Memories are all you have in life. She could pass them down to a daughter or a son. If there are kissing pictures I could see that. But pictures and such should just be put away. I think it's very shallow of you. If you buy her something and you split up are you going to ask for them back? I think you are wrong on this one.
Author Sivok Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 You have no right to ask her to get rid of gifts. Memories are all you have in life. She could pass them down to a daughter or a son. If there are kissing pictures I could see that. But pictures and such should just be put away. I think it's very shallow of you. If you buy her something and you split up are you going to ask for them back? I think you are wrong on this one.Painting me much here? No, I wouldn't ask for them back - those would be memories of her anyway. I personally do not see the benefit of holding onto memories of being in the arms of another when you've found someone else. That's my perspective on it, and it's why I personally toss out all memoirs of exs. We've been dating for about 6 months now
Irishlove Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Painting me much here? No, I wouldn't ask for them back - those would be memories of her anyway. I personally do not see the benefit of holding onto memories of being in the arms of another when you've found someone else. That's my perspective on it, and it's why I personally toss out all memoirs of exs. We've been dating for about 6 months now Passing them down is crass? No one needs to know where they came from. They are hers. They came from her if she passes them down. You can do what you want, that's YOUR business. But whatever she wants to do is HER life. You have no right to ask or suggest someone do something with thier things. You can say you feel uncomfortable could she put them in a box. Good pearls are hard to find and if she likes the pears and wears them then have her put them away and buy her some. They can run a few grand.. Just saying. You don't try to change people in a relationship. It's controlling
Art_Critic Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 You have no right to ask her to get rid of gifts. Memories are all you have in life. She could pass them down to a daughter or a son. If there are kissing pictures I could see that. But pictures and such should just be put away. I think it's very shallow of you. If you buy her something and you split up are you going to ask for them back? I think you are wrong on this one. I agree...and would add that if it were photos on the nightstand then you would have a beef..but jewelery, no way.. My wife has jewelry that came from her past and she wears it from time to time.. it doesn't bother me.
Art_Critic Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Your feelings about this are not to be entirely dismissed.. If you asked her to not wear the jewelry and explain why, that it made you feel insecure.. then it would be up to her to make that decision. If she chose to keep wearing them that you would just have to accept it or move on to someone else.. But to ask her to sell them or toss them I don't think you would be in the right about that.
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