That_girl Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I broke up with him about a month ago. I didn't want to...the fact is that he cheated on me a while ago, was borderline physically abusive with me, and extremely possessive and controlling. HE begged me to come back after the cheating, and I (stupidly) decided to give him another chance. Then he started putting me down all the time and acting like a different person once he realized I would put up with his ****. So all in all, I had no choice. I did and probably still do love him...but it's just not worth it. Anyway, throughout the relationship, if we would get into an argument he would post stuff on craigslist to get my attention. It was sweet stuff of course and he has still been posting since we've broken up. I haven't had contact with him for about 3 weeks, but I know it's him. A couple of days ago, he posted his exact description and where he works and stated that he was looking to connect with some other girl that he met at an event. HE KNOWS I'm reading this stuff even though I SHOULDN'T. I have a feeling that he is realizing that I'm not going to contact him or get back together with him and just wants to make me jealous. Obviously, it worked. I feel like crap and I want to call him and tell him to **** off. He kept saying that he was finished with women, and needed time to himself. And of course, after only a month he is back on the prowl- and felt the need to make that public so I would see it. Is he narcissistic and crazy or is it just me? I have been reading alot about that disorder and he seems to match A LOT of the descriptions. I just find it ridiculous that he's going to these lengths to make me feel crappy. I mean, he very well could have seen a cute girl at this event, but he wouldn't have to post that on craigslist and give such an exact description of himself. I feel like he is just trying to hurt me. My friend was saying that I dumped him and should expect him to try and exact some kind of revenge. I understand, I was dumped before too. But I never tried to hurt that other person. I just tried to accept it and move on. Also, in this case- he really left me no choice but to dump him. He even told me that if I had ever cheated on him, he doesn't think he would have taken me back. I'm just so angry. I went on a date the other night too, so it's not like I'm not trying to move on. But I didn't feel the need to let him know that. And also, I told the other person that I couldn't date them anymore because as soon as things got intimate with them, I realized how much I'm not over my ex. It just bothers me that he's already hurt me by cheating on me in our relationship and now he's still hurting me by dangling his interest in other women in my face.
Author That_girl Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Anyone? I don't know if I'm being crazy or he's intentionally trying to make me crazy.
LittleTiger Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 That_girl, I'm sure you already know what I'm going to say, but I'll say it anyway because you clearly need some support for what you're feeling. It's impossible to diagnose somebody based on a few words written about them on the internet - obviously - and nobody on here knows your ex in person, except you. However, from what you've said about him in the past he does sound like the kind of man who would try to hurt you and get at you, in any way possible - even from a distance. You are not crazy (he might well be). I know it's hard, but try to focus on your own life and your own future. He wasn't 'borderline' physically abusive, he WAS physically abusive and psychologically abusive and, as you say, possessive and controlling. It's almost inevitable that a man like that will try to make you feel bad and regret your decision. You have done really well to stay away from him. Give yourself a big pat on the back and be proud of how well you're doing so far. You will get over him, you know you will. Please don't let his silly games lure you back into his net. Forget him, you're worth 100 of him. You'll find someone so much better when the time is right.
Author That_girl Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 I really appreciate the response Little_Tiger. Made me feel a little better. It just hurts, and its difficult....nothing in my life is going right at the moment. And therefore, it's difficult to focus on anything else. This feels easy in comparison to my career/financial, and family situation. And that's probably why I dwell on it so much. He was a distraction from the rest of the stuff that I needed to fix. I guess now is the time for me to start fixing those areas that needed improvement. And I'll definitely have the time to do that now without him on my case all the time. The craigslist thing just upset me because I don't understand how someone that couldn't live without me a month ago is so easily moving. I know for a fact that it was him that posted that message to this potential girl that probably doesn't even exist. I think the whole thing was designed with the intention to manipulate/hurt me. And that's what I don't understand. Hasn't he hurt me enough? The cheating was already hard to deal with and I actually gave him a chance after that! And then he put me down and belittled me indirectly. For instance, when I mentioned that I wanted to volunteer somewhere, he said "where? at a battered women's shelter?...that's typical". UGH!!!!!!! What an *******. He hurts me in such subtle ways and then expects me not to get upset. Apparently all I ever did was make him feel guilty all the time. Like when I found porn on his computer. And he also got upset when I would go out with friends and not respond to his texts because I was in the club without reception. He said I suffocated him. It's so crazy.........how easy it is for someone to **** with your mind SO much within months. It's probably going to take me longer to actually get over this than the time I actually spent in the relationship.
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