confusedguy1 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Okay so I have been with my partner a little over 4 years. I have loved her every minute of this time and I still do I guess. My problem is that I have started having feelings for her sister who I get along with really well. I actually prefer to hang out with her and I recently can not stop thinking about her. And to top it all off my partners sister is only 16, I am 22. I am very unsure of what to do as I am having stronger feelings for her more than I did with my partner. Although I do not think about sex with her as I did when I started dating my partner. Please give me some ideas on what I should do. Thanks guys.
Kelemort Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 If something ever did become of this, she's only 16 - depending on the state you're in, that could be below the age of consent. Her sister may be appetizing to you, but is that because she's now going through puberty (or did recently)? How well do you actually know the sister? She's six years younger than you are, and at her age, there are bound to be maturity discrepancies that make this difficult. You need to figure out what's attracting you to her. Is it just the idea that now that she looks like a woman/is older, that she looks like a new option? Some variety to your situation after four years of dating, so to speak? Are you and your partner happy in your relationship, or have you reached a stale point? I think you need to start reducing the time you spend with her sister, especially alone, immediately. Start hanging out at your place more often. If you do see the sister, do it in a group setting. Not all 16-year-olds are like this, but I see them on a near daily basis. I can tell you that they are usually not the best partners for someone in their twenties. Right now, with the feelings you have, you're probably blinded to the fact that she might act so much younger than you do. But it's important to really put this into perspective. At 16-years-old, she is still a child. You're a grown man. Remember that.
Author confusedguy1 Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 I don't feel attracted by her age or looks. But we have much the same personality and we just get along. She is also long past puberty. I also started feeling less attracted to my partners looks and personality. She is legal where I am btw, but that isn't the issue as I don't want to do anything like that. Also I do not want to stop hanging out with her and it isn't really alone together we are always in a house with other people or at the shops with my partner. And I do realise I am a grown man and she is a teenager and this is probably the reason I have not said or done anything about it. But just stopping spending time with her I feel is not going to help this situation as I will still think about her and less of my partner.
Professor X Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 But just stopping spending time with her I feel is not going to help this situation as I will still think about her and less of my partner. Sounds like an excuse. I will tell you what will not help you, keeping spending time with her - that I guarantee you 100% will make stuff worse.
Author confusedguy1 Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 So what, I just say 'Sorry you can't come over or do anything with us, even though your sister invited you', to my basically sister-in-law? Little hard to do and explain.
Cee Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 It's time to break up with your GF. Your crush on the sister is a major sign that you need to move on. It almost sounds like the only reason you want to see your GF is to spend time with the sister. After the break up and grieving, the crush will pass.
chelle21689 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I've always thought crushes were normal and happened in relationships? I mean I was with my ex for 5 1/2 years and I loved him to death but once in a blue moon I would have a crush on someone...but it'd always pass after a few days or weeks. I would've never wanted to leave my partner for someone else that I thought I got along with if I thought I had something great. If I were you I'd stay clear away from the sister if you didn't want to save the relationship. Even if she was around physically you could still try to be emotionally distant.
Imajerk17 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 You know, in 10 years you will be 32 and she will be 26. Just sayin'.... Couldn't resist. What the others wrote already.
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