Mrjohnc1 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 The last 2 weekends my wife has left , says she needs time away? I have no idea where she goes or if someone elese might be invovlved. Kinda confused we were just at counseling at our church the night before. I worked 2 jobs and she claims we grew apart....probably did, but I would love to fix it. I'M LOST
Author Mrjohnc1 Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Today im just going to focus on certain things and keep myself busy....cleaning the house a little. The hard part will be when I see her sunday for my sons birthday, i need to keep calm.
marqueemoon4 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I know its EXTREMELY hard, but give her what she wants right now and don't put up a huge fight, it'll only drive her away further. Focus completely on your son at his birthday party too, no talk about your relationship at all. We're here for support, best of luck man!
Author Mrjohnc1 Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Thank you so much. Its hard we always were able to talk through things and now she doesnt want to discuss it.
Author Mrjohnc1 Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Should I use Michelle Weiner Davis's divorce busting 180 degree list theory?
Author Mrjohnc1 Posted May 1, 2011 Author Posted May 1, 2011 She is coming home soon after being gone another weekend, what do i tell her i cant take this when she leaves on the weekend, she doesnt tell me where she is......maybe an emotional affair or the real thing?
mark982 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 if she's leaving every weekend. you can believe it's the real thing
hopesndreams Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Is your gut telling you there is someone else? You need to investigate and find out a few truths. You need to know where she goes on weekends, you are her husband and since she isn't sharing with you what she is doing and where she is going, she is hiding secrets, which usually involve a 3rd party. Once you get the facts then you will figure out a way to proceed. Start snooping since she isn't talking.
thebody Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 You may think me awful, but... I've had relations with a few married women in the past. I've heard all the excuses they would tell their husbands so they could run around with me under the sheets on the weekends or even sometimes late nights while hubby was asleep. I'm not saying she IS, I'm just saying... maybe post a few of the excuses you may have got for why she's leaving.
jaymz Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I found out details by looking at her computer. she password protected it thinking I couldnt get in. didnt need the password. took off all her histrory and temporary files and could look at what she has been up to (hotel bookings/buying expensive lingerie/clothes/extra saloon trips). keeping it all in case need evidence in the divorce. havent told her how I know, said anonymous notes and she wasnt carefull and left things out.
Author Mrjohnc1 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 she has an emotional friend....possible lover.....i found a 2nd cell phone in her purse to call him with.
Author Mrjohnc1 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I know who it is, her friend died 3 months ago and its her huband
KCCO Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I'm so sorry for you. My wife left me over three weeks ago saying all sorts of things to hide the fact that she's been cheating for 2 years. I had to find that out for myself because she was too cowardly to admit it. Read my story. It might help and if you're in half as much pain I'm in at the moment you're doing well.
robf1971 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I know who it is, her friend died 3 months ago and its her huband Damn, I'm really sorry.... Ok you need to take a hard firm line on this, your wife is currently cake eating and has no respect for you whatsoever. You need to have a calm talk with her (ie no tears or raised voices) " Wife I know all about your affair with XYZ" (Do not tell her how you found out) She will deny, deny, deny, she'll claim they are just friends. You hold you hand up " Please don't take me for a fool, I will no longer live in an open marriage and tolerate this disrespect, either commit to breaking contact with xyz, with full transparency and marriage counselling or leave" Anything less than a yes, don't say another word. Walk away. Pack her sh*t in boxes put them in the garage. Tell her she has 2 weeks to find a place and you will even help her move. Actions speak 1000's of times louder than words. Retain a lawyer get a sep agreement, make your money and rights water tight. I know every bone in your body is telling you to beg and plead with her because I've been there. I know how badly you are hurting but all this counterintuitive stuff is the only way forward for you. You need to drop your wife like a bad habit. If you have no kids, do not contact her at all, if she contacts you just ignore it. If you have children then, kid only talk is needed. Get your life back, make new friends, have fun, act as if everything is going to be ok. This is not some ploy to win your wife back but for your own sanity. Eventually she will probably come sniffing back, this is where you have to decide if you still even want her. If you do then she needs to walk barefoot over broken glass to be with you.
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