TurboGirl Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 TurboGirl: Those of us who have lived through the hell of infidelity ARE in a position to judge and it's time for you to stop injecting your bull**** into this thread. Most people on this forum are seriously hurting and are asking for help from people who have been there so this is not the place for an idiot like you to spew nonsense. You are entiltled to your opinion, just please keep it to yourself. and you, can kiss my A_ _. You are obviously an ignoramous. I have been nothing but polite and it IS A PUBLIC FORUM SO FEEL FREE TO PUT ME ON IGNORE. I don't have to justify anything to you! All of you are soooo busy trashing the OP. Geez, I'm sure feels even better after reading some of the replies. Not helpful, just plain mean & bitter.
TurboGirl Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 turbogirl, you have the iq of a retarded rock. She cheated on her H and NOW SHE WANTS OT WORK AT HER MARRIAGE. What is with you people? Cheating is not a mistake it is the most hurtful thing a person can do to someone else I have not been rude to you merely expressing my opinion. At least I can reply in full sentences, you ignoramous. This is a public forum and I have not been rude merely expressing my support for the OP. While most of you are interested in trashing her & making her feel even worse than she already does!
kevinm1019 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Full of Regret... Tell your hubby that you are his wife not a "client." This will take some time for him to see that you are truly remorseful and will to commit 100% to the marriage. I don't think you threw it in his face... did you tell him you wanted a divorce? or did you tell him you wanted to work it out? Why on earth did you leave and go to your Mother's house with your child? Your H sounds pretty rigid, and as a counselor he should know that people do make mistakes. (hopefully he has not become cynical due to his work) I hope that you will put forth the effort to recommit, and hopefully he will forgive. This won't get fixed overnight. Listen... do not do anything brash or to demonstrate you are being confrontational in any manner. Any demonstrations of that nature would not be in the best interest of your relationship.
betterdeal Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Sounds like you are doing, thinking and feeling all the right things. Leaving your job, giving him space, talking via trusted intermediaries, looking into outside support services. This is all you can do. Good luck finding resolution.
kevinm1019 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I have not been rude to you merely expressing my opinion. At least I can reply in full sentences, you ignoramous. This is a public forum and I have not been rude merely expressing my support for the OP. While most of you are interested in trashing her & making her feel even worse than she already does! Food for thought... many people take a pair of binoculars then fixate or focus on a particular thing... but if they took a moment to pull the binoculars away from their eyes... what do they see? The bigger picture... If I may... these type of forums tend to open wounds for any person who has been a wayward spouse or affair partner. Why? Because the situation calls for either party to face a part of themselves, their situation and life they never thought they would have to face. With that being said... I would like to offer the following... A "mistake" is participation and/or demonstration of an action or function without understanding the consequence of that participation, action or function. The unfortunate part is this person had knowledge of her husband's scars from her mother-in-law's suicide, had knowledge of her husband's profession and the type of cases he works with, understood she had a marriage and family... but made a "decision" not to honor her vows to God, her husband, her family... and chose not to honor her womanhood. Think about this... and this is not meant to hurt you... if you will not honor your own marriage and womanhood... with everything that has happened... why would your husband honor you? With that being said... ask yourself this... "what can I do to show my husband that I will honor God, honor our marriage, honor our family, be an example for our daughter going forward and honor my womanhood. How much are you willing to work? At this time... I have observed you are not ready to do this. Why? Because your husband does not know you still have an attraction to this man who you violated your vows with and you are trying to find reasons to lessen the pain of what you have done and/or lessen the intent of your actions. More food for thought... Water is "wet"... no matter how much you heat the water... or how much you reduce the temperature of the water... whether the water is boiling, frozen, or the properties are changed to steam... when broken down to its base properties... the water is still "wet." You can add color to the water... sweeten the water... add a little more more... or add a little less... but the bottom line is... the water is still "wet." You can add an ice cube to the water or soak up the water with a sponge... the water is still "wet." The bottom line... what are you going to do with the water to help revive, what are you going to do with the water to sustain... what are you going to do with the water to nourish? Water is needed for life... water is a key key component of life... water is the building block to support and rejuvenate life... Do not waste your time trying to justify, reason or make excuses about a decision you made being aware of the inevitable consequences. Are you a bad person? No... not at all... but you demonstrated with the choices you made... you didn't care much about your husband, family or marriage. What can you do? Humble yourself and truly seek knowledge about yourself... for yourself... then address the issues within your marriage... if your husband is willing to forgive you... but understand this... you are headed for a very hard journey and I hope you are able to endure the trials and tribulations of that journey. Good luck to you and your family.
Spark1111 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I appreciate the concern Spark. My husband stays in constant contact with my parents and his daughter. I've have heard he is also recieving support from coworkers and neighbors. He explicitly stated before I left that he would never rob his daughter of her father. My father has has spoken to H about the potential of divorce. H has said that he is undecided. I think it would be unwise for me to file for divorce so soon. I'm worried that I might push him even further over the edge. I quit my job yesterday and am going full NC. I know that my attraction to OM is purely physical. I realise now, unfortunately, that I don't really like him as a person. I know that my attraction to OM will fade in time. Again, I will make no excuse for my actions. I am willing to accept the consequences and support my husband (if he wishes) and my daughter throughout this process. I'm looking at potential ICs. It is taking a lot of time but I want to find a high quality one. To answer you PR, this is the first time that I have cheated on my husband. This is part of the reason why I am so surprised and disappointed with my actions. I would also appreciate it if some of you didn't bad mouth my husband. He doesn't deserve it, and it isn't making me feel any better. I will try to provide a more accurate timeline next. I just need a little while to articulate my thoughts. Ok, I am happy to hear he is okay. Former faithful spouse here, succesfully and happily reconciled. I, too, had so much rage after DDAY, that I made him move out. Just the sight of him totally unhinged me. I also refused to be anyone's default choice, and of course, his OW was still in contact with him, "as a friend" to see how our reconciliation was going. Every time I discovered contact, I threw him out again, imploring him to go get her. He, of course, never told her that. But I also did NOT want to expose my children to my rollercoaster of emotions. I knew how devastating that can be long term. It took several months for me to even consider reconciling. He relentlessly pursued me to do so. Our conversations were very heated and emotional. He cried, pleaded, and was soooo remorseful of his actions. I didn't believe him. He began to tell me how much he loved me. I didn't believe him. He begged for one more chance, and still I was unsure because I vowed never to be hurt like that again. I did not know if I would be able to ever regain trust in him again, and without trust, there is NO relationship. I could wrap my head around developing feelings for another. It was the lies and deception that just about killed me. We could have separated, as painful as that may have been, it would have been honest, and in the long run, I and our children would have respected him so much more. I decided to give it a shot for the sake of our children, but I put a deadline on it. I had many conditions too: IC, MC, total transparency and NC, but at the time we did reconcile, contact was just about over. (she called one more time, and he told her to never do so again. She wanted to be "friends", as if that were even remotely possible.) We started emailing each other since our face-to-face was so volatile, and that was hugely helpful; all our thoughts and pain and re-connecting and love and tears are in those letters. I took it one day at a time. I could not do more than that. But every day he showed me with his actions that he was determined to change, and that he still loved me. And I did fall in love with him again. The old marriage is dead and gone. It has to be, because she's in it and unfortunately, it is forever tainted by this affair. But our new relationship is wonderful. It took hard work, courage, and a lot of committment on both of our parts to make it happen. Had he lost his resolve for even a minute, I would have walked away. It can take more courage to reconcile than to divorce, but that is only if you still love each other. Do you love him? Stop with the intermediaries, and tell him so. Also, I could live another 50 years, and I would never tire of hearing "I'm sorry." Not that I haven't forgiven him, because I have; but because the more I can talk to him about my pain, and he listens compassionately, the more I feel closer to him and the better and stronger we are. Good luck, whatever you decide. But if you do stay, start fighting for your marriage and your man.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I appreciate the concern Spark. My husband stays in constant contact with my parents and his daughter. I've have heard he is also recieving support from coworkers and neighbors. He explicitly stated before I left that he would never rob his daughter of her father. My father has has spoken to H about the potential of divorce. H has said that he is undecided. I think it would be unwise for me to file for divorce so soon. I'm worried that I might push him even further over the edge. I quit my job yesterday and am going full NC. I know that my attraction to OM is purely physical. I realise now, unfortunately, that I don't really like him as a person. I know that my attraction to OM will fade in time. Again, I will make no excuse for my actions. I am willing to accept the consequences and support my husband (if he wishes) and my daughter throughout this process. I'm looking at potential ICs. It is taking a lot of time but I want to find a high quality one. To answer you PR, this is the first time that I have cheated on my husband. This is part of the reason why I am so surprised and disappointed with my actions. I would also appreciate it if some of you didn't bad mouth my husband. He doesn't deserve it, and it isn't making me feel any better. I will try to provide a more accurate timeline next. I just need a little while to articulate my thoughts. You quit your job... What the hell? Way to plan ahead... now if he does decide to divorce you it will be easier to jack him around for child support and alimony. You ladies are just freaking evil at heart.
Author Full of Regret Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 It is good to know that you were able to reconcile Spark. I do love my husband yes. We have agreed to maintain NC and he has told me that he isn't ready to hear my voice yet. Do you think that I should wait until he is ready to speak to me? That is what I've been doing so far. I'm taking our daughter to the school counsellor and she is taking the situation quite hard. We are doing the best we can for her. She doesn't know about my infidelity and the counsellor has recommended that I don't tell her yet. I have only told her that this situation is my fault. Both her and her father are blameless. I would understand if my husband left me. I still want to know that I did everything I could to show him that I am sorry, and willing to improve myself and the marriage. In these past few days, I've stopped thinking about the OM in positive light. I think that many of his faults are more apparent to me now. I drew up a chart listing the OM's negatives, and my husband's positives. Was that a good idea? It is just hard to cope with the thought that my husband will likely leave me after this. The panic attacks are getting to me. I know he is having a worse time than I am. I will try to provide more information in my next post. I hope the reason for my actions will become clearer.
Audacia Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 (she called one more time, and he told her to never do so again. She wanted to be "friends", as if that were even remotely possible.) Why do they do this??? My H's xOW did this and it just blows my mind. Had he lost his resolve for even a minute, I would have walked away. It can take more courage to reconcile than to divorce, but that is only if you still love each other. Amen! I entertained the idea of quitting a couple times and my H met/is meeting every demand I have. NC, MC & IC. He is extremely supportive, remorseful and riddled with guilt. But if he had wavered for one second I would have quit. I needed to know he was going to be able to help heal the tremendous wound he made in my soul. And he has. But it's still extremely hard sometimes. And my H confessed to me.
Steadfast Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 At the top of the OM's list should be; "He isn't my husband". Ok, I'll stop being sarcastic and tell you the direction of your posts is encouraging. Regardless, you're going to learn a valuable lesson and quite possibly better yourself as a person. Lots of loving the little one will help. I learned early on after my ex left that the kids' mood was directly related to mine. So, I pulled my head out, turned on the music and started laughing again. It was an act, but we have to start somewhere. When you see him, smile. You'd be amazed what a smile can do.
Author Full of Regret Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 Okay, here we go... 1st year of the relationship: We met at University. We did everything together and spent most of our time together. Arguments were rare and handled fairly well (we usually worked them out in a few hours at most). We were both quiet people and didn't have much interest in parties and alchohol/drugs; the things that most other students liked. I can't think of any serious issues that happened while we dated. 3rd-4th: Graduated from Uni. Had a very small wedding with close friends and family, mostly from my side. If you can think about how happy you were on your wedding day, you should get an idea of how we felt. I got a job in the computer industry when it was really starting to pick up. He got the MC job roughly 5-6 months after the wedding. Stayed at my parent's house and started saving up to leave. 5th: Puchased a relatively cheap house. While it wasn't a mansion, I liked it. I knew it was large enough for both of us and a child and only a short drive away from the nearby shcool. Husband said he didn't have any problems with it. We had talked about a baby and decided that we were ready. 6-7th: I got pregnant. Had to leave my job. While it payed well, I felt apathetic about leaving. Hormone changes started to kick in. I know that I was moodier than usual, which I believe is normal, right? My husband supported me through it all. I admit that because of my shortness, I thought it was best if I kept some distance from him. I think that during these two years we grew apart emotionally. After I gave birth to our daughter, I think we were able to work out our issues. I tried hard to make things as easy as possible for him by not being too demanding during these two years. He was very patient while he waited for my hormones to calm down. Our physical and emotional affection returned soon after I had the baby. The three of us would spend as much time as we could together. Maybe our daughter was an unhealthy medium for our relationship (I feel horrible for typing that) in her own way. I became Mum and he became Dad. Maybe the Husband and Wife was disappearing? So it was a rough two years. 8th-15th: We both knew that we were separating apart so we worked very hard on our relationship. I think the two of us had formed resentment issues during those previous two years. He spent less focus on his work and more time on both myself and our daughter. I worked on making his homelife as stress-free as possible and dedicating myself to our child. Communication was good, we both made time to speak to each other, and we usually came to a mutual agreement. Romance was good, my parents would babysit while we would go out on dates comparable to when we were dating. I enjoyed them, he said he enjoyed them. Sex decreased to three times a week, he has a slightly higher sex drive than me. I don't think sex was the problem since he has always been very generous. I honestly can't think of any real problems. It is possible that I am in denial. 16th-My husband felt the tail end of the recession and suffered a pay cut. Our monthly budget shrunk. Since I was a close friend of one of the bosses at my old computer firm, she was kind enough to give me a part-time job. Reflecting back, I think I felt that level of apathy that I had in my previous full-time job. I also knew that we had bills to pay. That is where I met OM. His had gotten a divorce three years ago. At the time, I didn't think our relationship was anything special. This year-This is when the affair started. He would email email me at work and at home. At the time I thought that they were fairly casual (only friendly, nothing sexual) so I didn't really put much notice into them. In the present, I would label my situation a year long EA since I now realise that we had gotten too close (crossed a line) through those emails. They only became sexual last month. When I read them, I just thought that he was being an idiot (I was the idiot). He also told me that he was leaving the country in April for a better job. So last month, we were alone in one of the locked offices. Our affair became a PA. I wasn't 100% willing to have sex, but I didn't try and stop him either. I didn't move. I just don't know what I'm going to do.
jnj express Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 You in all reality can do nothing---this is your H's ballgame, to play out however he will You may not like the rest of this---it is not meant to be mean-spirited, or to put you down---it is just a recap of your facts What you are saying is there never really was anything wrong with your mge, just the regular problems, that befall ALL Mge.'s---You were spending plenty of time working on the mge---so ONCE AGAIN WHY DID YOU CRAVE THE OTHER MAN As to the, based on what you are telling us one time sexcapade---You can't seem to tell us WHY---but you surely can tell us what you were thinking, as you went thru stop sign after stop sign, everyone knows their thoughts. You went into an office with this guy, and locked the door----did you think nothing was gonna happen---YOU KNEW THE MINUTE THE DOOR WAS LOCKED---things were gonna happen, bad things as far as your mge. goes, bad things as far as your child goes. You knew you were then and there gonna change the course of all of your lives, and WHAT????????? What were you thinking---were you thinking---OK, so I will Play---my H. will never catch me---I don't really care about my child's future---WHAT WERE YOU THINKING Based on what you stated---foreplay must have started, he just didn't jump you and ram himself inside you---You knew you were going thru another stop sign, as the sexual foreplay and act began---once again you knew you were throwing away all of your lives---WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, as you allegedly lay there and did nothing You knew when he entered you, that again your were going thru the biggest stop sign of all, what could you have been thinking----were you thinking--hey my stupid dummy of a H., will never find out, cuz you had to know once again---you were creating a nuclear winter for your own flesh and blood child, at that moment---WHAT COULD YOU HAVE BEEN THINKING Now you tell us you don't know what to do----you knew what to do, for a whole year, as you trashed your wedding vows---you knew what to do when you locked that door, and most likely took your clothes off---you knew what to do---and now you are telling us you don't know what to do. If you are still reading this---I will tell you what to do You go over to where your H. is staying you ring the doorbell, and you try to get a face to face with him---and tell him you will DO ANYTHING TO SAVE THIS MGE.,--If he won't see you, you sit down on the porch, and you stay there, and you don't leave till he will see you---you stay there, even if you stay all night, till you get one chance to plead your case---and tell him you do know what to do---Tell him, You do know what you MUST DO to make this right------you give it the best shot you can There is really nothing else you can do---for as I stated before---this really is his ball game The reason I blasted away at you, as to your thinking---is cuz if he does grant you one conversation---he is gonna wanna know WHY/WHAT---so you need to say something besides I don't know We know you were selfish and prideful, well you need to loose those traits permanently in so far as this situation goes---Good luck to you, you will survive---no matter what---the sun will come up manana
cgannon Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 F.O.R: I'm not going to bash you or judge you, but I want to let you in on what your spouse is going through. He's broken. He will never be right again. In the words of Ving Rames, he's pretty G-D far from alright. Whether or not he takes you back, this much is true. If he takes you back, the last thing he sees before falling asleep will be the worst thing his mind can concoct you and your other man doing. This never ends. Every time you do anything even remotely suspicious, he will assume that it is because you are either with the other guy, or some new guy. Every time you express any kind of joy or happiness, he will assume it is because of something the other guy did. Some days, we'll call them "good" days, he will feel a dull ache in his heart because of the betrayal he is feeling. On other days that are not so good, he will understand what his mother went through and will seriously contemplate following her lead. You will want to worry about "bad days". The best part is that this never changes. He will lose respect for himself as a man; both for allowing your affair to even happen, and for forgiving you. In his mind, he will have forgiven you because he isn't worth anything better than the "love" of someone who had better but settled. He will be prone to fits of anger or depression. He might kick around the idea of having a revenge affair, only to realize that he is repulsed by what he will have become. He might take up drinking, just to numb the pain he will feel for the rest of his life. In the absolute best of circumstances, he will live out the rest of his life reliving in his mind's eye the year you were having an affair, trying to see if there is some place where he can pinpoint where his life went wrong. Do whatever you think is right, but I want you to understand what he will not be able to convey to you. I want you to understand the full measure of your decisions and the ramifications they have already had on your husband.
SoulStorm Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 You were date-raped by the OM? Have you reported to the police that he forced sex on you w/o your consent? She didn't say no. She said she froze. That may be shock or surprise..but if she didn't resist, it's not rape. Did you resist Full of Regret?
Spark1111 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 It is good to know that you were able to reconcile Spark. I do love my husband yes. We have agreed to maintain NC and he has told me that he isn't ready to hear my voice yet. Do you think that I should wait until he is ready to speak to me? That is what I've been doing so far. I'm taking our daughter to the school counsellor and she is taking the situation quite hard. We are doing the best we can for her. She doesn't know about my infidelity and the counsellor has recommended that I don't tell her yet. I have only told her that this situation is my fault. Both her and her father are blameless. I would understand if my husband left me. I still want to know that I did everything I could to show him that I am sorry, and willing to improve myself and the marriage. In these past few days, I've stopped thinking about the OM in positive light. I think that many of his faults are more apparent to me now. I drew up a chart listing the OM's negatives, and my husband's positives. Was that a good idea? It is just hard to cope with the thought that my husband will likely leave me after this. The panic attacks are getting to me. I know he is having a worse time than I am. I will try to provide more information in my next post. I hope the reason for my actions will become clearer. I believe it is good to draw up a list if it helps you to clarify things, but do not ever divulge that list to your H! My H did the same thing when still in the affair fog, and I told him if YOU ever have to make a list regarding me and her, there is the door. I am happy your daughter is in counseling, and that you have taken full responsibility for your actions. I hope you get to counseling soon. You still do not have a clear idea why you did what you did. I think you too are in shock and denial. Your description of events leading up to your affair are very detached, as if it were all happening to someone else's life, spouse, and family. Are you numb? this is a normal reaction of a WS to DDay. And panic attacks? Pretty normal too, I'm afraid to say. Start talking to your spouse. Or emailing your pain and remorse to him; state that you still love him and will do anything and everything possible to make your relationship work.
Spark1111 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Why do they do this??? My H's xOW did this and it just blows my mind. Because at DDAY, you become a real living person in pain. Not someone who's very existence was denied. It makes them feel as if they did not cause such heartache if they can "still be friends." They can be less accountable that way for their actions. Amen! I entertained the idea of quitting a couple times and my H met/is meeting every demand I have. NC, MC & IC. He is extremely supportive, remorseful and riddled with guilt. But if he had wavered for one second I would have quit. I needed to know he was going to be able to help heal the tremendous wound he made in my soul. And he has. But it's still extremely hard sometimes. And my H confessed to me. Yes, it is upon the WS to fight for the marriage. If he hadn't fought so hard, for me, packing a bag and getting divorced would have been the easier route to take.
2.50 a gallon Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 When I was a young man, I loved the singles scene and never wanted to get married. My XW pursued me, and after over 2 years I finally agreed to marry her. It was only on my wedding day, when I saw this beautiful creature walk down the aisle to take my hand in marriage that I fell in love with her. She showed me a new life, a new me, a man who wanted a family and a home, and someday growing old and having grandkids. I had easily dated over a hundred women, and she was the only one who could get me to see the light. I gave up on all of the women in the world just for her, and I thought that I had gotten the better end of the deal. Six months later I caught her kissing the OM, and it was all over. She wanted so badly to reconcile, and even was trying almost 4 years later. All of the crockodile tears, "I'm so sorry's", "It was a mistake's", and "It will never happen again's" had no effect. I could never get rid of the images of her and him that floated in my head to leave. Like Humpty Dumpty, there was nothing anyone could ever do to put it back together again. It has been over 30 years, and yes I am very much in love again. But to this day, the thoughts of my XW still sicken me
Author Full of Regret Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 (edited) Did you resist Full of Regret? I don't know what I did. Edited May 3, 2011 by Full of Regret
Memphis Raines Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I feel lost. I don't know how to deal with this. I love my husband and I betrayed him completely. What can I do? first off, if you truly loved your husband, you wouldn't have cheated. secondly, what can you do? First off, quit your job. You want another job, then go find one, but you quit this one. But then again, there will be men at that job too, so not much to make your husband feel good there with the exception you will be leaving the job where the OM is. what else? you become an open book. he gets all your passwords to emails, access to your phone, you leave it out in plain sight. No hiding it or taking it to the bathroom with you. You leave it where if anyone calls he could see it if he wants to. you also pretty much put yourself on house arrest. I don't mean this fully, but there is something to saying that. in other words, you don't do anything that has a more condusive environment to help you cheat. Sure you can cheat anyway, but why do things with a higher risk of it? So basically if there are girls nights out, don't think that he is going to be all comfortable with it. you need to decide, whats more important, your husband and family, or acting like a hormonal 16 year old. and the thing that I wouldn't feel good about is, unless you gave him the choice because of his job or yours, is that you took your daughter with you, basically away from him. Shouldn't he get to have his daughter right now since it is YOU that cheated? what is it about cheaters that cheat, then take the kids away from their spouse?
Memphis Raines Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I've decided to call my boss tomorrow and quit my job ASAP. good, there is the first step, and the very least of which you should do.
SoulStorm Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I don't know what I did. Oh so you have compartmentalized it. You will need to really focus and remember because your betrayed husband will want answers when he does talk to you. "I don't know" is not going to fly at all with him. He is a councillor and he knows how to handle this. I would say get your timeline more specific. Things you were thinking. Why you decided it was ok (which it never is) to cross the line. Why you couldn't tell him no You may have thought you "owed" him that to keep the emotional part going. This is my opinion, I'm not trying to put thoughts in your head. Most importantly you will have to remember as best you can. His questions will come often and repetitive. If you don't have an answer tell him you have to think about what ocurred so you don't give him erroneous information. You may not want to think about it, but your betrayed husband may need that information to help him heal.
Author Full of Regret Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 (edited) Soul, I think that when he initially started becoming physical, I was too surprised to react. I think that I was worried that he would get me fired. Then we would be worse off financially. He has a lot of influence over my boss. I was afraid that he would contact my husband, and tell him we were emailing each other more then we should. I was attracted to him physically, but I knew it wasn't a good idea, I didn't want to hurt my husband. I don't know what he would of done if I had tried to move. So I didn't resist. Is it my fault that I didn't do anything? Edited May 3, 2011 by Full of Regret
John Michael Kane Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I don't know what I did. We're not stupid. Don't play the innocent card.
jnj express Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Regret---those excuses are pure BS, and you know it---every excuse you just threw out---pales in comparison to your allowing the other guy to enter your body------Why didn't you do something when he locked the door---You knew right then and there this was going to be physical---you certainly could have resisted at that point--- You went and had sex with this guy when he said he was going away---what was this his farewell party---with you as the prize---I guess it was IMHO---your excuses will not fly---they all have holes in them---do you think your little part time job, was gonna take precedence over a mge---Do you think he was gonna get you in trouble for not having sex with him---how---what was he gonna tell his boss---she wouldn't have sex with me Do you honestly think he was gonna tell your H-- What you have is no guts---I am sorry but that's the way it is----OR---you wanted him to do you
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