vsmini Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I'm 28 so I've been involved with text messaging quite a bit. It's great for quick information exchange or little fun one-liners but I think it's getting out of hand and ladies are just not being smart about it. It's a lazy form of communication and I see girls excuse men's crappy communication skills all the time from it. "Well no, he hasn't called me all week but he sent me 3 texts!" WTF? I have a friend that's in her mid forties and she's "dating" a guy long distance and basically settles for the crumbs he throws her which is a few texts a day and not much else. I guess I just want someone to explain to me why texting is ok and if someone honestly believes that it can substitute for serious conversations that should be held in-person or at least over the phone.
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Completely agree with you. Unfortunately, it's all I can get.
Author vsmini Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Completely agree with you. Unfortunately, it's all I can get. What do you mean? As in texting is all you can get a guy to do? Don't settle for that - get your boundaries in place and kick those guys to the curb
Pfiend101 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Texting is the new calling. I've met many women who like to text constantly. It is what it is. It will be what it will be.
Eclypse Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I almost never called my girlfriend while we were in the dating stages. Text and facebook seemed to suffice. Neither of us had anissue with it and most of the people my own age (20) use it as a proffered form of communication. I personally hate talking on the phone and it's annoying to answer and talk when you are already doing something.
Author vsmini Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Eclypse, Well that's kind of my point. The fact that you said "it's kind of annoying to answer and talk when you're doing something." I understand if it's something important you're doing when they call but doesn't talking to someone that you're in a relationship with trump quite a few things you could be doing? It's kind of like you're screening your communication with them and I wonder if that's a healthy relationship make. Casual dating...maybe...but a real relationship?
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Eclypse, Well that's kind of my point. The fact that you said "it's kind of annoying to answer and talk when you're doing something." I understand if it's something important you're doing when they call but doesn't talking to someone that you're in a relationship with trump quite a few things you could be doing? It's kind of like you're screening your communication with them and I wonder if that's a healthy relationship make. Casual dating...maybe...but a real relationship? Agree, once again.
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 What do you mean? As in texting is all you can get a guy to do? Don't settle for that - get your boundaries in place and kick those guys to the curb It's all I can get my friend to do and he has me friend zoned, so I don't have a leg to stand on about wanting him to call me.
Professor X Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Well, its just easier I guess. Face to face conversation requires you to see the other person face, which will mean you get to see his body language, as well as the other person will get to see yours. Phone is next in line because you only get to hear his/her voice which from that alone you can get somewhat of a picture of his/her body language (via his voice). Text is last because it is devoid of all emotions and there's no way to tell exactly how a one is expressing himself, unless specified.
OliveOyl Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Is a few texts a day really enough communication for a relationship, whether it's in the early dating stages or has progressed to a full-blown relationship?
SingVoice Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I HATE this. I JUST went on a date with a guy who only texts...he wasn't even interested in having a phone conversation prior to meeting. Or after really. And honestly....it was a big turn off. Texts are GREAT for casual stuff. But if you are trying to get to know someone...you HAVE to talk.
Pfiend101 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I hate how things can be interpreted wrong through text as well. Like your making a joke but the other person doesnt realize you're bieng sarcastic and boom. You're in a fight lol
NicoleM Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Exactly! You never know what the person is thinking through text. Are they annoyed? Did they get that text?? Do they hate texting? I sometimes wish people actually used phones instead of texts.
LostInTurn Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I've considered canceling text messages on my phone because of this. I miss the days when we had to pick up the phone and call someone. I understand texts are good for a quick message, but all the communication that happens is far too much. I am 28 and while I appreciate technology very much and the advancements, people are lacking manners and respect when all they can do it send a text. Another thing... I cannot stand when people abbreviate... example: c u soon. Ah! Why can't we spell it anymore? It's... see you soon!
NicoleM Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I hate it when you are out with friends and they are checking their phone every five minutes. It is sooooo rude! I wonder what people did when they didn't have text messaging. God forbid you miss one text:D
CambridgeGirl Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Men hide behind texts when they aren't comfortable chatting on the phone, I think especially in the first few stumbleworthy dates, many guys would worry about sounding relaxed on the phone and not sounding inept. However, my experience also tells me that if a guy only texts and not pretty often, even after a few dates, he just isn't that interested. Men that want you chase you, even by text. I would also rather they call, but fewer and fewer do these days.
zengirl Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I'm 28 so I've been involved with text messaging quite a bit. It's great for quick information exchange or little fun one-liners but I think it's getting out of hand and ladies are just not being smart about it. It's a lazy form of communication and I see girls excuse men's crappy communication skills all the time from it. "Well no, he hasn't called me all week but he sent me 3 texts!" WTF? I have a friend that's in her mid forties and she's "dating" a guy long distance and basically settles for the crumbs he throws her which is a few texts a day and not much else. I guess I just want someone to explain to me why texting is ok and if someone honestly believes that it can substitute for serious conversations that should be held in-person or at least over the phone. I think serious conversations are best had in person (or phone as a second resort), true, but I don't want a guy to call me every day. Text, message, call, or something most days is good, and it's good to mix it up. A lot of times, texting is more convenient, and I prefer it, so it's not just men. That said, someone who can NEVER talk on the phone is annoying, of course, and I would want plenty of in person time so would never do a LDR. A LDR with just texts sounds odd to me.
thebody Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 I've always purposefully used texts so as not to seem altogether too interested in any one person. Phone conversations can get long winded and usually ends up with me going,"uh huh... yeah... uh huh... oh that's cool... uh huh...". With a text, I can plan the conversation like a chess game. Make the person wait a little while before I text back... that usually gets them riled up. hahaha
SMHEO Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 My girlfriend hates talking on the phone, to anyone. I think we have only talked on the phone a couple of times out of absolue necessity. We do text a lot, I dont really mind it as we can talk/stay in contact easily while working or doing other day to day tasks that would make talking on the phone hard. I would never say anything big in a text, more for just talking about random day-to-day stuff. As long as you make time to see eachother and stay in touch (by text message, phone, skype, whatever) I dont see the big deal.
Nathan Drake Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Texting is the new form of communication like it or not. This doesnt seem to be a problem with the younger generation but it is for some of the older ones. Its quick, easy and you can hold a conversation anywhere, unlike with a phone call. Those who are worried that he/she only "texts" me, flat out, just needs to get over it as thats where we are in this age. Im sure there are some people out there that still prefer the phone call, but they are now the exception, NOT the rule(at least with the Millennial's)
calendula74 Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 (edited) Many people, including women like texting. Not me. I think texting is okay with friends and in cases like "I am running late" or "can you pick up some bread?" or "are you guys waiting outside or inside" type thing, but not in dating situation. Or keeping a romantic interest going. but then again I am old 36 that is. I am actually not into phones either. I enjoy IM though. I would take IM over the phone. It's kind of like what someone mentioned earlier about being a chess game, IM is a nice back and forth, but it has more room for expression than texting. In fact a good friend of mine who happens to be a guy asked me if he should call or text to ask a girl out for second date. This particular friend is super awesome, sensitive person. He does not play games, but he just did not know that texting is not a good way to ask out on a second date. I mean ladies out there: would you rather be called or texted for second date? Edited May 1, 2011 by calendula74
Nathan Drake Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Many people, including women like texting. Not me. I think texting is okay with friends and in cases like "I am running late" or "can you pick up some bread?" or "are you guys waiting outside or inside" type thing, but not in dating situation. Or keeping a romantic interest going. but then again I am old 36 that is. I am actually not into phones either. I enjoy IM though. I would take IM over the phone. It's kind of like what someone mentioned earlier about being a chess game, IM is a nice back and forth, but it has more room for expression than texting. In fact a good friend of mine who happens to be a guy asked me if he should call or text to ask a girl out for second date. This particular friend is super awesome, sensitive person. He does not play games, but he just did not know that texting is not a good way to ask out on a second date. I mean ladies out there: would you rather be called or texted for second date? Yea i think it goes back to the generational thing. I have a friend and i dont think iv ever spoken to her via the phone and we've known each other for 2 years. In fact i dont know if she's ever dialed her phone. She will literally text me when she is standing right next to me. Most millennials have grown up either with texting or online chat and it's just how things are done now. Most young people, just do not see texting as informal, they see it the same way they would a phone conversation. I mean texting and driving says it all.
OliveOyl Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 20 years ago before texting, there was email; my stbx and I did email each other about every day for the first few months but we also saw each other several times a week too. I just wonder whether people use texting in place of face-time. That would seem worrying.
Nathan Drake Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 As big of a proponent as i am of the text, i will say this, any girl iv ever liked, iv wanted to talk to for the purpose of just hearing her voice.
PhillyDude Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Texting is the new calling. I've met many women who like to text constantly. It is what it is. It will be what it will be. I was able to get the reason for this from one woman.........."It's easier to express myself on text"
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