zzzzzoom Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 so i recently got the whole " i need space" line from my girlfriend. I agreed with her feelings and then it turned into " i don't know what i want". I've read plenty of similar threads on here and understand NC and that this may very well be her way of saying f*** off. It has been a few days of NC so far. I would obviusly like to continue being with her but i am having trouble playing the day to day guessing games. Would it be smart to contact her and break if off entirely? what would be the right thing to do here?
Vitai Slade Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Don't contact her. Let her contact you. If this is something she wants, she will contact you when she is ready. If you push her, she's not going to want it no matter what. I /JUST/ went through this. Give her space. Seriously. As for the guessing games, yeah, it frickin blows. But it's not a guessing game for her. She really is trying to figure things out. It sucks to be put on the back burner like you are, but if you really want her, give her the space she needs to figure things out. If she doesn't contact you after a month or two, THEN try to talk to her if you just can't wait around any longer. She will know what she wants by then. If she doesn't know by then... well... I'm sorry, but it's going to end up being a no anyway.
loverboy1984 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Ok listen and listen well. My ex gf pulled the same thing. I was caught off gaurd then through the course of a week I made her decide whether she wanted to be with me or not and she said no and now we are broken up. Sometimes I feel like I should have just gone NC and maybe I would have had a shot at still being with her. But the reality is usually needing space is contemplating breaking up, either due to confusion, some other guy who has got them thinking, or they actually need time apart from the relationship. Some would argue that they indeed need space. But from experience its just a transition to a break up or they care about you and want to let you down easy. What you should do is make your intentions known if you love the person, but be strong and a gentleman about it and dont get emotional and go NC. pull away and be missed. Give them space. You may never know why they needed space but its up to them to be upfront with you. If they cant its not your fault. I hate that line and I think its a cheap way of breaking up and not dealing with issues and feelings. Good luck buddy.
Fufu Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 When your partner needs space and/or break, give it to them. By contacting them, they will feel you are not respecting them. And also, quarrels or issues from small become big because couples tend not to give each other a cool down period to access the situation logically. When we are angry or not feeling/thinking right, we tend to be overly emotionally. Seek NC for the moment, as some members had suggested, let her be the one to initiate the contact first because she's the one who wanted the space, not you.
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