Fufu Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I believe there are. Thought personally and friends around me, I haven't see such cases yet. second chances only work when both are willing to work things out and want the relationship to become even better than before.
Leda Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Most of my friends who are in relationships that have been going on for 5+ years had a shaky start--they broke up at least once or were on-again, off again. One or both people weren't sure about things in the beginning. second chances only work when both are willing to work things out and want the relationship to become even better than before. Yes, in the cases I've seen where the people are still together now after reconciling years ago, the break up made BOTH people equally realize, "Whoa, what I have with this person is pretty rare, and I am willing to work on myself to be there 100% for him/her." I think we don't see a lot of successful reconcilation stories on these forums because a lot of people come here needing strong help and support riding out the hopeless feelings that come when the other person is not willing or able to try to reconcile. People who have been through it genuinely wish for a happy ending for everyone here, but no one wants to give false hope. I personally think there ARE a lot of happy endings. If you talk to young(ish) people you know who are in satisfying relationships, at least a couple of them are likely to report that they had a hitch or glitch early on.
0hpenelope Posted May 1, 2011 Posted May 1, 2011 Just curious as it seems to be very rare. Yes, there are second chances that actually work. But like any other relationship, second chances take work.
dragonfly22 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I know of two relationships that ended in marriage or engagement after a second chance. In both cases they broke up and were apart for at least a year. In one relationship they were high school sweethearts and had been together for about 5 or 6 years when the guy decided he wanted to date other people and "enjoy life". They broke up, they both dated other people, she even moved abroad and eventually he went after her and they got back together. They are now married and seem very happy. The other case is similar except they were apart for maybe 3 or 4 years and eventually randomly met somewhere, decided to give it another try and they are now engaged. I guess if there was compatibility once, then there can be again. Maybe sometimes people need to grow up and be more mature to make things work and that's why in both cases I know the separation lasted over a year.
TragicAlliance Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Absolutely, second chances can work! I've personally witnessed one, and witness it on a regular basis. My mother married my stepfather when I was about 11 or 12. He was EXTREMELY good to her - always was there for her, cooked meals, worked hard, genuinely cared about her and her needs. His flaw, however, was that he was bad with children. My younger sister and I weren't treated the way my mother believed we deserved, so she divorced him because her children came first. Well even after the divorce, he was there for her. He spent the night at the hospital several times when she was undergoing major surgeries on her back and needed assistance. He took care of her cars and came over regularly to make sure we all were okay. As my sister and I got older, our relationship with him greatly improved. It would be YEARS before my mother and stepfather finally realized their mistake and remarried... and they have been happily married ever since! He is an amazing man who takes good care of my mother, who unfortunately is beset with physical ailments that require a lot of care. He would do ANYTHING for my mother, and has done everything he could for me and my sister. (Albeit my sister is ungrateful and has basically decided to snub him and my mother both.) He also has grown to love the zoo of animals my mother has (4 cats, 4 dogs) and takes care of them as if they were human children. Yes, he is flawed (he is bipolar and occasionally has issues with his temper - though he has NEVER struck any of us), but they can see past each other's negatives and have embraced each other's positives. The love that they share is almost magical. I'm now 22, about to be 23, and I watch them grow closer every day. While I've not had much positive experience personally with second chances, I know that they are real and can happen if love is true.
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