TragicAlliance Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Earlier today, I was so, so, SO confident that I'd be able to go NC and get all of this behind me. Fast forward several hours, and one hell of a heated conversation later... I'm talking COMPROMISE?! Help me out here - what just happened?! He told me he'd work less (if you look up "workaholic" in the dictionary, there he is!) and cut down on some of his more time-consuming hobbies if I let him have his own space. I have quite a few... issues... brewing. 1. Personal experience! Anytime he and I have EVER reached a compromise he didn't like, he lashed out nastily at me. He'd go rat on me to all his friends, and that's probably why they didn't like me. (And even then, there would be times he went behind my back anyway and did what we had agreed he wasn't going to do.) He swears that he won't be nasty with me this time, but how can I be sure? 2. Contradiction much? "I'll spend more time with you if you give me my own space." Whaaaat? What the hell, dude. I've given you AMPLE space. For God's sakes, you went away for 3 weeks and have only been back for a few days! Not to mention that the entire statement makes zero sense. If it makes sense to someone else, please explain it to me so I can understand too! 3. Manipulation. Several times during his trip he would inform me, "I'm doing dangerous stuff out here because if you don't love me, why should I care about my safety?" Tonight he told me he would stay up all night if I refused to talk to him again... which in itself is a weak threat if it weren't for the fact he is going to be responsible for a group of children tomorrow morning. I called him out on the manipulation - one of his more infamous ex-girlfriends kept him around by threatening suicide if he left. I asked him if he appreciated her treating him like that... when he hinted that he did not, I asked him to consider what I might have thought. 4. SKEPTICISM. In the back of my mind, a voice is calling shenanigans. And calling it loud. Theory states that when something seems too good to be true, it usually is. This just smells of bait-and-switch. What if this is all just a ploy and he's eventually gonna yank the rug out from under me... again? I am so on the verge of hating him that one more slip-up is going to push me over the edge. It's very peculiar. He's gone from someone who was rather distant to someone who is almost obsessive. He continues to insist "I'm not giving up on you" and "I don't want to lose you." Anytime I try to end a conversation, I get begged to stay. He wants to know why "we can't just be friends," and refuses to accept my reasons for it. (My reasons being both he and I are jealous people, and that the green-eyed monster would ruin any chances of being friends... and that by keeping in contact with one another, we're both prolonging our pain.) However, even despite his obsessive behavior... he has gone so far as to tell me what all he'd be losing and leaving behind to come live with me. That almost felt like a deliberate stab and I told him that if he felt so strongly about what he would be leaving behind, he was better off not coming to live with me. He claimed he couldn't do that; "I want to be with you." Despite all of that, I find myself given an offer of compromise that I'm actually sitting here contemplating. Again, there's a voice in my head crying foul, and I feel like kicking myself in the butt repeatedly for this sudden change in events. He asked me if we could talk tomorrow when he gets home from his prior engagement... I made no promises and instead insisted "We'll see." He finally accepted that and went to bed. Have I been cleverly manipulated into lowering my shield, or should I relinquish one more chance? I know I'm risking looking like an idiot, being taken for granted, and getting my heart completely broken (again!), but is there something to this situation that has caused me to reconsider? Please, please help. I'm so confused that it's almost hilarious.
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