pineapples Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 My BF suggested the other day that we have sex at this unusual location. We were supposed to go to a show and he sent me a text saying he wants to do it there. I politely refused him. Later he said it was totally okay if I didn't want to do it. Don't know if this is relevant, but I did not refuse him because I didn't like the idea, but because I didn't like the idea of doing it there (he knows I am willing to experiment and usually open to new things). Anyway, when we got to the place last night, again he suggested we have sex there. Once again, I refused him. I tried to be polite again and even suggested to do something I think was equally exciting. He suddenly became very annoyed and I could tell he was frustrated by the way he walked back to his car. Here is my question. Ever since last night I am kind of expecting him to call me and apologize, but according to my best friend he is expecting me to call him and apologize as well. I am just sick and tired of this waiting. I have tried to contact him, and under usual circumstances he would have called me already, so I can tell he is not happy about what happened. Do you think he feels rejected?? Who do you think should apologize? I know I have to talk to him about this and ask him, so pls don't tell me to do that... I am just really curious what do you think, who is being the a-hole, him, or me. Thanks!
TuffCookieX Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I don't think anyone needs to apologize. You didn't want to, he needs to respect that. You even made a counter offer that he refused. If anyone needs an apology, it's for lack of communication, not for turning down a sexual adventure.
Author pineapples Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 Thanks Cookie, good point that nobody has to apologize. But I still feel there is something wrong... I just don't know what was he thinking. I said to him twice I don't want to do it, and still I am the one who feels bad about the whole situation?
TaraMaiden Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 He's being a bit petulant, and childish, because he didn't get his way, but probably a bit pi$4ed off at himself for being persistent and trying to get you to comply with what he wanted - and have you turn him down. You know what? I'd forget it, and pretend it didn't happen..... let it go. Just call him and ask when he's coming over, or suggest doing something this weekend, or discuss a mutual plan... But if he still seems annoyed - call him up on it. Ask him what's wrong.... If he says 'nothing', or makes some excuse, be casual and let it go. You gave him the opening to come clean and talk. if he tells you, then simply say that you did tell him you weren't willing, and why did he think that by persisting you'd change your mind? And why should you? you did offer an alternative, but if he was too pissy to accept it, then that's not your problem. Just get over it. That's the way things go sometimes....
Author pineapples Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 He's being a bit petulant, and childish, because he didn't get his way, but probably a bit pi$4ed off at himself for being persistent and trying to get you to comply with what he wanted - and have you turn him down. Thanks Tara. Didn't think of this before.
TuffCookieX Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 He's being a bit petulant, and childish, because he didn't get his way, but probably a bit pi$4ed off at himself for being persistent and trying to get you to comply with what he wanted - and have you turn him down. Thanks Tara. Didn't think of this before. I agree with Tara's advice, however I don't agree that your boyfriend is pissed at himself. Not many guys really think like that, and if he was pissed with himself he wouldn't be waiting for an apology from YOU.
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