Brokenhearttornapart Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I'm really hating how bad i'm feeling right now. My marriage has now become a separation and I pick up my daughter from her father's house (who isn't my husband that i'm separating with) and she says that she doesn't want to go with me, in front of her father (she's only 3). I feel so unwanted and rejected right now. I feel like if I were good enough, my husband would want me back and my daughter would look forward to coming to see me. I need a friend, a good one =( Maybe i'm just typing this out of a moment of weakness, I don't know. Either way, I'm really really hating this (hence the Title). I never pictured myself being 24, having a 3 year old child by someone who didn't work out with me in a 2 year span and having a failed marriage under my belt. It makes me sick and depressed. I'm probably not the only one out there feeling this way. You guys probably have situations that are complicated like mine.. you probably know what it's like to come on these boards to reach out to others and seek the same. Either way, I need help for this sadness and I know it. I sought out divorce support classes because I don't want to be alone in this, I want to talk to people who know about the subject and can help me hash out my feelings of sadness, hurt, depression, and even anger. Unfortunately for me, the only nearby place holds their classes on the one constant night that I have my 3 year old a week - on Wednesday nights. I won't abandon her because I'm hurting, I can't. The only reason why I don't have her full time is because of lack of money, I never held a full time job so I couldn't completely support her. Still, this isn't a child support topic, it's Separation and Divorce so I'll stick to that. My separated husband and I were watching our ABC soaps today and OLTL came on. He walked in as Starr walked in on Deanna and James hugging, which was inappropriate because James was only in a towel. "I guess I better not hug you then" when he saw my reaction, stating that "because you're my ex" so yeah - that hurt. I told him that James was only in a towel and that Deanna was James' ex and that wasn't appropriate to do in front of Starr (Starr being James' gf) and he changed his attitude. It still really really hurt, the usage of the word "ex". I know, technically I am now that we are separated, but i'm still in love with him and it stings. You know we did have this insightful conversation the other day - it was more of the "whatever happens, happens" in the future type thing (regarding that we could end up together if he falls for me again). I know right now he wants no part of being in love with me, that he feels "nothing" because of all the mistakes I made (not cheating, but jealousy and insecurities and stuff) but I would love nothing more than to have my tons of apologies and time make up for it and he would actually see that I am worth being married to. Does anyone else feel this way too? and anyyy feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks guys...
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