LCA1986 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 So, here is my situation and I need help on how to proceed. I met this girl (TJ) at the end of February through mutual friends. We didn’t really talk much, they just introduced us, talked for a bit and that was it. I didn’t really make much of it because back then I had a long distance girlfriend. After the meeting, she proceeded to add me on facebook and we chatted a few times through facebook every once in a while when we would catch each other online. But again, it was really nothing… just how your day is been and blah So March comes, my relationship ends and like 2 days later TJ asked me if I wanted to meet up for some coffee. That took me by surprise and I asked her what her intention was and she said that she found me intriguing and that she wanted to go out with me on a date and see what happens. Well, back then, I still had hopes of working things out with my ex, so I told her that I wanted to be completely honest with her and I explained to her my situation. I told her I had just recently come out of a relationship, and all I could offer right now was friendship. She responded saying that she appreciated my honesty and that if that was all I could offer, she would be glad to be my friend. Nonetheless, we didn’t make the coffee date and instead we kept chatting and texting every once in a blue moon After a while, I realized that me and my ex were completely done… I decided to put a stop on my pathetic self and forced myself to go out on dates in a weekend. I had four dates set up for that weekend… and TJ was one of them. The only one I felt sort of a connection with was TJ. We just sat, drank coffee and talked for hours. We really got along well. Eventually we got to the topic of me turning her down before and she said that even though she appreciated my honesty she couldn’t help but feel disappointed, so she decided to meet more people and go see what is out there, which is what she is doing now and she is surprisingly enjoying having the chance to get to know different people and keeping her options open. When she told me that, I felt like I had missed my chance, but we still agree that we should keep on hanging out. We met up the weekend after. We had first agreed on going out to have dinner and to a lounge afterwards to just chill, but she had a long day so instead she suggested that we stayed in to watch a movie at my place, to which I said okay. I wasn’t in the mood of going out so that was the perfect plan for me that night. She came over, brought her N64 with Mario Kart!!!!! (That blew my mind!). We played for a bit and then we watched a couple of movies. We ended up the night holding hands and just cuddling… she was the one who actually held my hand first and then just put my arm around her for me to cuddle. I am not really good at making moves…That night was perfect, we hung out for like 8 hours and I had a blast. It was about 2.30 am when she was ready to go home, I walked her to her car and we got into her dating life conversation. She mentioned again how much she liked my honesty and that it made her want to be honest with me too, she said that for the first time in her life she is actually experiencing dating people and keeping her options open and she is quite enjoying it. Next week comes and it’s final weeks at her university so she is been a little bit busy. On Monday, I went to this popular coffee shop in town, one of my favorites. She was there that day…. Hanging out with one of the people she is currently getting to know. He actually works there. So, she sees me, comes sit across me to say hi. Her friend comes over a little bit later and join us. It goes without saying how uncomfortable that was. I didn’t talk much (I am quiet when I am uncomfortable), but she kept talking (She talks nonstop when she is nervous) lol. Finally she leaves and I sent her a text “It was nice to see you even if it was in a weird situation like that!” She replied saying that it had been awkward with both of us there but she was glad to see me too. I sensed some awkwardness between us so I tried to make a joke out of it and I said “It’s funny. You avoided meeting up with me in that coffee place because you didn’t want to run into this situation, you player!” She took it by heart and she sent me a long text saying that she was a very committed person and she didn’t like people thinking that she was a player. I apologized for the joke and that was it. We proceeded to talk for a little bit more that night. Ever since that night, we haven’t really talked much. We have kept in touch through facebook comments… she comments on my videos and I do the same. And we have been playing word with friends through our iphones, she sent me a message through the game saying how I am beating her butt but that’s it. We haven’t texted or anything. I haven’t really pursued anything because I know she is been busy with finals and I guess I wanted her to come to me whenever she had free time. I am not sure what to do next. I genuinely like her, and I want to get to know her better but at the same time I know she is out there talking to different people and I am not sure I am ready to put myself out there again, to compete with other people and run the risk of being rejected. My self stem is been pretty low since my break up and I don’t know, I just don’t want to take another blow to my self stem, if that makes sense. Also, I am potentially planning to move to the West Coast in a year, and that makes me not sure if I want to pursue something, but at the same time… I don’t want to miss the chance of maybe having something meaningful with her. I am definitely interested in her, and I don’t know if she knows it… I have been told before that I am quite hard to read. How should I let her know I am interested in more than just friends (Like I had told her first)? without being pushy?
BiscuitXOXO Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Post too long But I read most of it! Anyways dude, she already said she liked you and she has made efforts to get to know you better. If I were you I would ask her to hangout again sometime, and during that date, tell her that you really want to get to know her better but you want to be exclusive because you feel awkward knowing that she's seeing other people. Also, you have competitors. This isn't a time to slack off because your self-esteem is down. It might not turn out well...but then again it might. There are risks everywhere; nothing is ever for certain. Just be honest like you have been so far! Good luck!
Author LCA1986 Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 Haha. Sorry for the long post :/ She did say she liked me before, but what puts me off is that she has told me twice how much she is enjoying just dating and getting to know people. I dont know, maybe that's a hint saying that maybe she just wants to be friends? Would you tell that to someone you are interested in something more than just friends? I am clueless when it comes to hints.
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