RareBreed Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 But I'd like my own, personal advice. Reading other people's situations just isn't cutting it for me. So here's my story, from square one. (Sorry in advance if I'm long winded) I Met this girl back in January 2010 through her bestfriends That I went to school with. At the time, I one of her he's friends liked me, but I wasn't interested in any kind of way. Anyways we all hung out together, my group of friends, and them, and eventually one of my friends ended up liking my current ex. She also wasn't interested. So to cut this half of the story short, me and my current ex became interested in each other, our friends felt betrayed & stopped talking to us, we started going out in March 2010 and began smothering the hell out of each other since we had no other friends. Anyways 6 months into our relationship things changed. One of her old home girls from highschool started hitting her up saying she needed to come out with her & have fun... Live life ya know? I didn't think anything of it.. In fact I encouraged her to go out with her friend to keep things right with us. Well she did that, & suddenly became cold. When I asked her what the deal was, she said she doesn't know how she feels & she felt we rushed into things. I agreed but did everything I could to keep us together. I failed, and we broke up. I initiated a non verbal no contact rule (I just didn't talk to her at all) for about two days & she contacted me wondering why I stopped talking to her. We got back together & everything started back the same way.. No friends... Seeing each other day in & day out aside from work. A week Our 1 year anniversary (March 2011) her friend popped up again... Wanting to hang out... Go to parties... & all of that other stuff. Of course I said ok, but in the back of my mind I knew what was gonna happen. She went cold on me again... & decided to take a break 1 day before Our anniversary. She had the same excuse this time, not knowing how she felt, being bored with each other, etc... Oh & not to mention we began to bump heads alot since we seen each other every day...but nothing anyone wouldn't expect. Anyways after this break started I initiated ANOTHER non verbal no contact. And she came back the next day saying we can still talk things.. She just needs her space. I talked her into getting back together by admitting some of our flaws in our relationship & offering some ways we could fix them.. I.E. Get our own friends... Etc. & we did that.... But I guess in her mind that wasn't enough. Since she's been going out with her friend she's been bumping into old highschool people reminiscing I guess, & that coldness came back AGAIN. this time she barely talked to me for like a week...& whenever i tried to talk to her or make plans with her.. She was busy. I pretty much saw the break up coming. Yesterday she finally she hit me with the "we need to talk" via text message. So i called her & said what's up & she ended it with a simple... " we need to be done, no breaks or anything. I'm just not in it anymore". So I simply said okay, & she said okay, we said goodbye & hung up. She changed her Facebook stat to single & I did the same. I apologized to my old friends for being anti social & a dick & went out to dinner with them last night like old times. Anyways ... I really miss her & I want her back. I feel that since we know what messed us up in the first place... Why doesn't she want to work on fixing that? She completely gave up all of a sudden. I've once again initiated the non verbal No Contact & haven't heard from her. She's still my friend on Facebook and twitter but I'm leaving her alone... Hoping she will come back. My question to everyone here is, do you think there is hope? Or am I just a stubborn fool who cant take a break up. Also we are turning 21 next month.. & we were planning a trip to Mexico... So I purchased a passport last week, now this happens. Wtf? Please help. All comments, concerns, and questions are greatly appreciated.
Author RareBreed Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 50 views... But no response. -__- man.
TaraMaiden Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 (edited) But I'd like my own, personal advice. Reading other people's situations just isn't cutting it for me. I understand that, but unfortunately, your situation is very much the same as that of hundreds of people here. so although you feel you'd like personal advice - the advice to you, is going to be the identical to that given to others. Because although the participants are different, the situation is the same.... ..... My question to everyone here is, do you think there is hope? Or am I just a stubborn fool who cant take a break up. No. and Yes. But I wouldn't say fool. Up to now, you've tried to initiate NC, and she's always broken it, by insisting you stay in touch, and be friends. Big mistake. BIG. H-U-G-E. As you may well have seen in countless other places, trying to stay in touch and be friends after a break-up is utterly pointless, futile and doesn't wor. Ever. At all. Also we are turning 21 next month.. & we were planning a trip to Mexico... So I purchased a passport last week, now this happens. Wtf? What do you mean, "WTF"..? The trip's off, I guess, unless you've paid anything towards travel, then you can go on your own, or get a buddy to go with you.... But the passport is a good thing... You're in the minority 30% percent of Americans who have one.... well done! http://articles.cnn.com/2011-02-04/travel/americans.travel.domestically_1_western-hemisphere-travel-initiative-passports-tourism-industries?_s=PM:TRAVEL And why is "we are turning 21 next month" relevant...? You're very young, and there is a whole world out there for you. "Young Love2 is rarely permanent, or long-lasting.... However intense you feel it might be. It's probably intense precisely because it IS young...but intensity is no guarantee of durability.... Please help. All comments, concerns, and questions are greatly appreciated. Read the Caliguy No Contact guide in my signature, and make sure, whatever happens, no matter what she does, that you absolutely completely stick to it 100%. Good luck. Edited April 29, 2011 by TaraMaiden
Author RareBreed Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 Thanks for the response. I will Definately read his post.
Tom19 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I'm not sure, maybe she feels like because you've been in the same situation before it isn't worth trying to fix things again? The fact that you're so young maybe means that she feels like she should just be out and having fun and doesn't want to commit to a relationship anymore? The female mind works differently, and I'll never understand it. Good luck to you though, I'm in a right pickle myself at the moment!
Author RareBreed Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 Yeah Tom, That's why I threw the "we're turning 21" in there. Her friend-girl is single so I figured she's the one in her ear suggesting that she gets a taste of that single life again. It only happens when this girl pops back up. When she's was not around, we were really happy. & only bickered about stupid things. Also her friend is a total dead beat... No job... Nothing... & she uses her for rides & everything. Idk if I'm just making up excuses here for why the break up happened... But I'm also using this as a crutch for the main reason she will come back to me. Blah. Idk what I'm saying...
Tom19 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 For now just try and turn yourself off from it all, that's what I'm doing. My topic is further down the page (Girlfriends Father Passed Away) They're very different situations but I guess we still both feel very similar. I'm only 19 so we're both youthful and can help each other hopefully.
collegeguy_24 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Hate to say it buddy, but she was probably cheating on you with her friend. At the very least she kept you on the back burner and used you. While it is hard to do, you need to think about how grateful you should be now that you are free from someone like her.
Author RareBreed Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Her friend is a chick though.. I highly doubt they're lesbians..
Author RareBreed Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) So heres an update of my current situation. Since i wrote all that up, I gave in to no contact like the next day, just to ask her if she was doing alright, she said "ummm yeah why".. and i said just asking.. and that was the end of the conversation aha. Stupid Me, I know. Then, a Few days later, more no contact.. and she texts me "i hope you're doing alright".. I felt like replying, "aside from the fact that you ripped my heart out and stepped on it, im doing GREAT!" but I ignored it. And Now yesterday, she texts my mom "happy mothers day :)" .. my mom replys "Thanks!" then tells me. Even though she told me she was done... why is she still lingering? I was doing fine for a few days without thinking about her... now im back to feeling like a piece of **** again, wanting her back more and more every fckn second. And im sure the music im listening to isnt helping the situation. Also i left one thing out that has me buggin out.... She sent me a message on twitter that only said my Username... im assuming she meant to search for me in the search bar, but accidently tweeted my name because she deleted it like 2 seconds after she posted it. Im going crazy here. Ive managed to convince myself that If we wouldve met 5/10 years from now... we would be perfect for each other, but right now, we're both young and immature still. Gosh I wish this could work!!!!!!!!!! ALSO, i think the real reason she left me was for an old friend that she kept running into at parties... :/. I dont have any real proof of this except for the fact that he clicked the Like button on her "is now single" status on facebook.. and she winked at it. Edited May 9, 2011 by RareBreed
TaraMaiden Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 delete her off Facebook, delete her off twitter, delete her number off your 'phone, delete any form, means and manner of contacting her or of hearing from her or about her. Stop kicking yourself in the head, and kick yourself in the @ss instead. Why don't guys listen...????
Fufu Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 delete her off Facebook, delete her off twitter, delete her number off your 'phone, delete any form, means and manner of contacting her or of hearing from her or about her. Stop kicking yourself in the head, and kick yourself in the @ss instead. Why don't guys listen...???? Because they are still living in their limbo and dilemma world. Rarebreed: Do what's best for yourself to move on. Don't live in the past anymore. Move forward.
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