Airborne Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I'm due to marry this girl I've been dating on and off for 8 years in about 4 hours, and I sit here rather terrified. I really love her but am not sure that I'm ready for marriage and I think if I dump her again I will probably lose her forever. We have relatives and friends who flew in from all over the world just for this occasion and I'm not sure I have the guts to do the right thing and call it off HELP!
AstroZombie138 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 How off and on were you during those 8 years?
musemaj11 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 This is madness! If iu asked me the same question a month ago. I would have said 'dont marry!'. But this is way too late.
marigold7 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Ok, why do you think you're not ready for marriage? Have you done any marriage preparation work/programs? Why do you think you really love her?
Enchanted Girl Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 After 8 years, you need to either commit or leave her forever. Now is when you need to grow some balls and just make that choice. You can either try to be happy with her and make it work or live out everything you're afraid of by abandoning her and destroying the relationship right now and paying a lot of money for it. Most people are scared right before they get married because there life is changing, but since we usually live together before marriage and have sex before marriage nowadays, nothing is really changing that much at all. I was in a relationship for five years. It ended because he couldn't commit. After a certain period of time, if you won't commit, the relationship dissolves on its own, even if neither of you want it to and its long past that time for the two of you.
Author Airborne Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 We had one major split for about 6 months but other then that we've been together pretty much the whole time. I'm still in my 20's and I just keep getting the feeling maybe this isn't the right situation for me yet. I do love her but I was under a lot of pressure from my family to get married and I might have pulled the trigger too soon. Only an hour to decide what to do
Author Airborne Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 After 8 years, you need to either commit or leave her forever. Now is when you need to grow some balls and just make that choice. You can either try to be happy with her and make it work or live out everything you're afraid of by abandoning her and destroying the relationship right now and paying a lot of money for it. Most people are scared right before they get married because there life is changing, but since we usually live together before marriage and have sex before marriage nowadays, nothing is really changing that much at all. I was in a relationship for five years. It ended because he couldn't commit. After a certain period of time, if you won't commit, the relationship dissolves on its own, even if neither of you want it to and its long past that time for the two of you. Thank you, this puts things in perspective. She's too important to risk loosing, I'm going through with it.
Kelemort Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 lolol @ William. I think on anybody's wedding day, there is a feeling of terror - "Oh God, is this the right choice?" because let's face it - this is supposed to be for the rest of your life. You're making a decision in your 20s (for most folks) that is intended to impact their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and so on. That's a long time to commit. You've been with this girl for 8 years and you had a split once. You just have cold feet.
musemaj11 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Don't worry. You can always get a divorce if it doesn't work out.
love4me2c Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 GO FOR IT!!! I agree with the above. I think it is natural to be nervous. No one ever knows how things work out. I waited until I was almost 30 before I married. I met the right kind of man and settled down. I wasn't young, and yet, I am now separated. You all have been together long enough now and you say you love her. No one has a crystal ball for these things. If we did, no one would ever split up. NOTHING is permanent unless you want it to be. Sure it is a risk but you will never have true love unless you are willing to take risks. Try not to be too concerned and have a blast at the reception. Good luck and I wish you the best today. PS - I didn't really think a lot changed in my relationship after we got married, now having kids is a different story.... But you're young you don't need to jump into parenthood so fast. Enjoy being married for awhile.
musemaj11 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Make sure if you ever wanna get divorced, do it before you get rich or have kids.
Jynxx Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Seriously man GTFO GET THE **** OUT if you doubt, dont do it You shouldn't get married unless u are 200% sure about it. You are not. Cancel now that you still can or regret it later
anne1707 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I suspect he's gone through with it. Don't know why. Just call it female intuition.
Nexus One Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 I suspect he's gone through with it. Don't know why. Just call it female intuition. Or maybe because he said the following: She's too important to risk loosing, I'm going through with it.
anne1707 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Or maybe because he said the following: Or maybe I watched the wedding - as did one or two other people
Author Airborne Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Or maybe I watched the wedding - as did one or two other people Knew I should have waited to get married. You and I could right now be on our way to africa to save elephants by day and enjoy the pleasures of our rustic cabin by night.
anne1707 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Knew I should have waited to get married. You and I could right now be on our way to africa to save elephants by day and enjoy the pleasures of our rustic cabin by night. Ah yes but I already have my prince
Author Airborne Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Ah yes but I already have my prince It's my bald spot isn't it.
anne1707 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 It's my bald spot isn't it. Strange that your brother hasn't got a bald spot. So unlike the other men in the family
Enchanted Girl Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Dammit. This is what I get for being the one person who wasn't following this at all.
Nexus One Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Dammit. This is what I get for being the one person who wasn't following this at all. You weren't the only one, I completely missed it on purpose. Royalty, tax leeches.
Author Airborne Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Strange that your brother hasn't got a bald spot. So unlike the other men in the family Ha! Give it a few more years and you will start seeing some skin. I went from Elvis to Patrick Stewart in no time flat. Princess Anne has a nice ring to it.....
Author Airborne Posted April 30, 2011 Author Posted April 30, 2011 Dammit. This is what I get for being the one person who wasn't following this at all. You gave perfect advice for a man in that situation. I hope people remember it if they ever find themselves getting cold feet. Come to think of it I bet you would look good wearing a safari hat.
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