ByMyselfForNow Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Back in November, my ex left me for another guy. We still work together and in the last months I've been trying to avoid her as much as possible. I must admit that it's really hard especially when my colleagues keep updating me on her doings. Today was her birthday. I went to congratulate her and tried to keep the conversation to a minimum. Nonetheless, this "small talk" ruined my whole day and , even if I try to look like I've got past over it, I still feel angry towards her, towards what she's done to me. I hate it that it's still affecting me in such a way. Sometimes it's hard to move on....
Fufu Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 It's all in our mind. If we think it is hard to move on, it is hard to move on. If we believe we can move on, we can move on. This is the problem of breaking NC, you will only feel more dejected and depressed. I had a dream last night, I dreamt that I broke NC and contacted my ex-bf. In my dream, he was very sarcastic to me and I woke up feeling RELIEF that I didn't break NC at all.
smudge21 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 You're in a tough situation when working together. Been there and got the scars to prove it. You need to first simply tell your colleagues you don't want to hear about her anymore. Tell them straight. Secondly, you have to accept that you will see this person everyday but what you see is only what she's projecting of herself. She may be wandering around all happy, but she may not be like that on the inside. Just like every one of us, she may be hurting inside over anything - maybe even her new life isn't that good, but she's just not letting anyone know. It's like having an ex on Facebook - you only read the positive bits of their lives, never what's truly going on. There's no quick fix when having to see your ex in a work situation, you just have to suck it up and make the best of it. Try to occupy your time with other people and really get stuck in to your work. I'd often find that during the times when there was little to do, my mind would wander and I'd be thinking about her, then of course I'd see her and it would make things really bad. Stay busy so your mind can't wander. It does get better, but don't expect it to happen as quickly as most.
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