beautyofspeed Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 i am feeling horrible over this breakup, i don't know how to be. i haven't processed all of my feelings because they're really painful, i know i have to though. i know it may be stupid and this guy may not care, but i'm just not sure how to present myself...i want to hide away and not be seen by him, yet i want him to see me, etc. our relationship was incredibly complicated and i don't even know if it's worth it, if i really love him (anymore) or could be with him, because he hurt me, lied, cheated, etc, and wasn't even really sorry or willing to do anything to fix it. yet, when i was angry with him because of that, he got angry back at me and said things to hurt me even more! i know it must be unhealthy, but there was also something incredibly positive between us. it's so frustrating! my feelings and my mind are in incredible conflict - i've read too much about relationships. i don't want to lose him in one respect, it hurts so much, then i just don't care/quit feeling, then i hate him for feeling used, etc. i feel like to be open i would be split open, bleeding out over the place, open wounds, vulnerable, etc. i don't want that, i also want to close up, yet i know that's not good either. there's much more than that, but i guess my question for now is what do i do...hide or be open? or any other advice would be appreciated....thank you.
smudge21 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 First off, you did the right thing by posting on here and expressing these feelings. It is better to air these things rather then keeping them bottled up. You need to accept how you're feeling and let it out. Cry if you want to, get angry, buy a water melon and smash it with a hammer, anything to let those feelings out. This place is great for that and many people will give you advice and know exactly what you're going through. You're not alone.
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