Conscience Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 We started seeing eachother again after 2 months of NC, she cheated on me. Now that where starting to see each other again she said she would change her cell phone # suspend her facebook account and change her job assignment since she speaks to the guy on an almost daily basis due to work he lives 5 hours away. She told me that she would change all these things 6 days ago! How long should I wait for her to do what she said she would do ???
JasonRules Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 We started seeing eachother again after 2 months of NC, she cheated on me. Now that where starting to see each other again she said she would change her cell phone # suspend her facebook account and change her job assignment since she speaks to the guy on an almost daily basis due to work he lives 5 hours away. She told me that she would change all these things 6 days ago! How long should I wait for her to do what she said she would do ??? We need a little background information. Who is the "other" guy? Give us a brief description of what happened.
Author Conscience Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 We are married have two kids and been together for 8 years, back in November she started a new job and as been communicating with organizations located 5 hours away she connected with this guy and they became friends, she started texting with him and one thing led to another she had an affair, are couple was not going so well at the time. I left and went into NC for about two months, she started contacting me again and asked me to go to lunch then there was a second lunch and dinners and activities together. From that point on we started seeing each other fairly often at least 4 times a week. Last week I was dinging to find something as my confidence in her is still fragile and I found the guys address in our GPS favorites and she admitted speaking to him the week before that and told him she was trying to patch things up with me but he keeps texting her and calls her, I freaked out and told her I was done with all of this she turned around and begged me to stay and how committed she was and how she would change her cell phone # and suspend her Facebook account and change her work assignment in order to avoid having to talk to him at work. That is where I am right now.....
JasonRules Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 We are married have two kids and been together for 8 years, back in November she started a new job and as been communicating with organizations located 5 hours away she connected with this guy and they became friends, she started texting with him and one thing led to another she had an affair, are couple was not going so well at the time. I left and went into NC for about two months, she started contacting me again and asked me to go to lunch then there was a second lunch and dinners and activities together. From that point on we started seeing each other fairly often at least 4 times a week. Last week I was dinging to find something as my confidence in her is still fragile and I found the guys address in our GPS favorites and she admitted speaking to him the week before that and told him she was trying to patch things up with me but he keeps texting her and calls her, I freaked out and told her I was done with all of this she turned around and begged me to stay and how committed she was and how she would change her cell phone # and suspend her Facebook account and change her work assignment in order to avoid having to talk to him at work. That is where I am right now..... Personally, I wouldn't take her back. She cheated, lied, and basically was willing to throw away her family and marriage for this guy. Now she wants back and is supposedly "trying" to work things out with you, but at the same time she's still visiting him. I'd call a lawyer and start divorce proceedings and request full custody of the children. You've been married to her for less than 10 years so you if you got full custody you wouldn't have to pay her palimony. She obviously is not setting a good example to her children since she cheated on their own father. If she cheated on you in the past and is lying to you in your face about not seeing this guy, then I can guarantee she will do it again in the future.
Author Conscience Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 She doesn't visit him anymore, she claims she's only been there once and that is address was in the favorites as when she was at his place they visited the city and she added is address to the favorites to find it easily. From this point I wanted to put it all behind and focus on reconnecting with her, as I said she told me she was going to change cell# and suspend the Facebook account and change her work assignment how long should I wait before asking her about those things?
JasonRules Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 She doesn't visit him anymore, she claims she's only been there once and that his address was in the favorites as when she was at his place they visited the city and she added is address to the favorites to find it easily. From this point I wanted to put it all behind and focus on reconnecting with her, as I said she told me she was going to change cell# and suspend the Facebook account and change her work assignment how long should I wait before asking her about those things? I can't forgive infidelity. To me if a woman spreads her legs for another man, the mere thought is enough to make me want to puke, but if that's not a problem for you then go ahead. As to your original question, I can change my phone number and deactivate my FB account in about 5-7 minutes total. Deactivating my FB profile takes about 40 seconds and to change my cell phone number would take another 4-5 minutes. It doesn't matter though if she will change her number. In a few months when she's bored of you again she'll provide him with her new number anyway.
ALombard Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 yeah i'm sorry man but you don't want to do this with her again. i had a similar situation with my ex minus the kids and i just got stuck bringing her back over and over again and each time she said she was changed or was going to change and was going prove me wrong and guess what? She did the same thing a few days ago. Time to call it quits and move on man especially if she hasn't changed anything when it takes no time or effort to change a number or delete a fb account.
Author Conscience Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 One thing I forgot to say is that we weren't together when she saw this guy I had left her at the time we where still sharing the house but where not together, wen we where together she was hiding and texting him.... but was not seeing him.
JasonRules Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 One thing I forgot to say is that we weren't together when she saw this guy I had left her at the time we where still sharing the house but where not together, wen we where together she was hiding and texting him.... but was not seeing him. I understand you are emotionally invested still, but to an outsider like myself I think you're trying very hard to excuse her behavior when the behavior displayed by her infidelity is inexcusable. Think of this; how many minutes worth of opportunity did she have to say to herself "What the hell am I doing here? I'm going to destroy my marriage and family for a fling?", but she didn't do that. The mere fact that she was intimate with another man is enough to tell anyone that she is NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. She may love you as the father of her children or as someone she's been with for 8 years, but she's not IN LOVE with you. Ultimately, its your decision if you want to take her back. Personally, I think she'll cheat on you again, but if you're willing to take that risk that's up to you. Back to your original question; deactivating a FB account and changing phone numbers takes 5-7 minutes. But I'm not sure what does a FB account or a phone number have to do with her being unfaithful to you. I know many women with FB accounts or mobile phones who choose to be faithful. Instead of changing FB accounts or phone numbers, maybe you should consider changing her.
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