ccnaboy2000 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 (edited) Well I pulled the plug yesterday. I don't know if it was the right decision or not. Just a few weeks shy of our 1 yr anniversary. Quick overview. We dated for about 7 months and I lost my job a month prior, she dumped me saying she didn't feel "secure" anymore. Kinda sucks, it was out of my control. During that time she went onto her okcupid account. She said she wasnt looking to date and wasn't talking to guys, but that turned out not to be the case. She said she couldnt picture herself with anyone other than me but doesnt want to miss out on something better if it came along. I just went NC, I found a sweet Network Engineer dream job with my dream company making lots of money. The NC started to wear on her. A month later she crawled back said she couldnt take being without me and we got back together. She deleted her okcupid account because it was a trust issue. For the next 4 months things were fine, well mostly. The problem with her is she's got depression issues. Everything out of her mouth is "I hate this" "I hate that" "This is so stupid". The negativity was taking a toll on me. Not to mention sex once every month and a half just doesn't do it for me. I talked to her about it, and she just says "sex is a waste of time, we could be doing something more productive" If that isn't a warped view I dont know what is. She started talking more about getting with women, and how " I would rather have vagina than penis" wtf is she turning gay? I pay for everything, I don't really feel appreciated much, I'm lucky if I get a thank you. And somehow when I say no I wont buy you that she gets upset, as if she's entitled to my money, which I already spend a considerable amount (adds up to about $1500/mo I spend on us going out). She said a couple days ago something that bothered me "You seem like my uncle, you'de be happier just gardening, making money and being single and not have a family." It made me mad because this couldn't be farther from the truth. But that statement sparked something in me to check up on her. I typed in her OKCupid username into google, and sure enough she's reactivated it. It says she's single and everything. My trust in her just evaporated. I texted her about it, I asked her why did she reactivate her okcupid account knowing that it would break my trust. She simply got defensive... "Why are you on okcupid???" I dont have a profile on the site and I ignored it, she tried texting a couple more times "Are you going to answer my question?" Her attitude in my opinion shows me she realized she was up to no good. So I broke up with her, told her I'm done. And have been NC ever since. This sucks :\ Edited April 28, 2011 by ccnaboy2000
marqueemoon4 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Yea I sorta remember your story... didn't she play games for a long time while you were broken up and flirt with/date other guys? Cut the cord and move on brotha.. you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you need a woman who is honest and doesn't play games. Also, work on getting a JNCIA... I am.
Author ccnaboy2000 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 Yea I sorta remember your story... didn't she play games for a long time while you were broken up and flirt with/date other guys? Cut the cord and move on brotha.. you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you need a woman who is honest and doesn't play games. Also, work on getting a JNCIA... I am. Yeah that was me. I just completed the CCNP. I ended up getting a job with Cisco. So I doubt Juniper certs will be up my ally anytime soon. Working on the CCIE now. :\ at least that's an all consuming processes so I have a distraction.
JasonRules Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Well I pulled the plug yesterday. I don't know if it was the right decision or not. Just a few weeks shy of our 1 yr anniversary. Quick overview. We dated for about 7 months and I lost my job a month prior, she dumped me saying she didn't feel "secure" anymore. Kinda sucks, it was out of my control. During that time she went onto her okcupid account. She said she wasnt looking to date and wasn't talking to guys, but that turned out not to be the case. She said she couldnt picture herself with anyone other than me but doesnt want to miss out on something better if it came along. I just went NC, I found a sweet Network Engineer dream job with my dream company making lots of money. The NC started to wear on her. A month later she crawled back said she couldnt take being without me and we got back together. She deleted her okcupid account because it was a trust issue. For the next 4 months things were fine, well mostly. The problem with her is she's got depression issues. Everything out of her mouth is "I hate this" "I hate that" "This is so stupid". The negativity was taking a toll on me. Not to mention sex once every month and a half just doesn't do it for me. I talked to her about it, and she just says "sex is a waste of time, we could be doing something more productive" If that isn't a warped view I dont know what is. She started talking more about getting with women, and how " I would rather have vagina than penis" wtf is she turning gay? I pay for everything, I don't really feel appreciated much, I'm lucky if I get a thank you. And somehow when I say no I wont buy you that she gets upset, as if she's entitled to my money, which I already spend a considerable amount (adds up to about $1500/mo I spend on us going out). She said a couple days ago something that bothered me "You seem like my uncle, you'de be happier just gardening, making money and being single and not have a family." It made me mad because this couldn't be farther from the truth. But that statement sparked something in me to check up on her. I typed in her OKCupid username into google, and sure enough she's reactivated it. It says she's single and everything. My trust in her just evaporated. I texted her about it, I asked her why did she reactivate her okcupid account knowing that it would break my trust. She simply got defensive... "Why are you on okcupid???" I dont have a profile on the site and I ignored it, she tried texting a couple more times "Are you going to answer my question?" Her attitude in my opinion shows me she realized she was up to no good. So I broke up with her, told her I'm done. And have been NC ever since. This sucks :\ Dude, she's actively looking for your replacement, you have no benefits (sex etc), you're paying for everything, and is negative about everything. So why were you with her again? I would have dumped that train wreck months ago. I'm also in IT and make a decent living and guess what? Compared to the new girls I'm dating (looks, maturity, career, intelligence) my ex can't hold a candle. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself "Don't you deserve better?" The answer is a definite "YES!". So instead of moping about with this train wreck go out and use the money you spend on her on yourself. Start dating, go on a vacation with your buddies, get a motorcycle, start a hobby. Life is too short to waste on insecure, fickle, and unfaithful women. Let her swim in her own crap... Time to move on brother...
ilovedhim Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I'm with the guys on this you deserve better. Funny how people don't know you can google them and get all the dirt. Just the statment what if there's someone better out there is a huge red flag. One things for sure there is someone better out there for you. You sound like a niceguy so I'm going to tell you not to feel bad and break nc. Just move on.
Chi townD Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Dude, she wasn't into you, she was into your wallet. You were her security blanket. You need to give yourself time to heal and then start to look for a mature professional woman that doesn't NEED a man; but rather, WANTS and man.
marqueemoon4 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 damn CCIE.. good for you and best of luck thats no easy task. just keep improving yourself and you'll meet someone who is worthy of you.
Author ccnaboy2000 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 Thanks for all the encouragement. It's never an easy thing to do, especially after a year of being together. But I don't want to be a chump. And I certainly have no intention of being dragged along and kept as the safety net while she looks for other opportunities. I'm fine if she wants to see other people, but I'm not fine with being together while she does it. So I think by dumping her now she fell flat on her face. I think this is a lot easier on me now since I was the one to cut ties. However, I'm pretty over dating/relationships for a while. It's me time now for a while. When I was younger, I used to always have to be in a relationship. But at 28, I've grown out of that. I actually found I can be happy being single.
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