reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 well i guess the mornings are going to be the most difficult for me right now. knowing that the day is just starting, the birds are chirping, and the sun is out and i wont be able to see her today isn't easy. i had a dream that i txted her last night and she answered back. not sure what it was but it felt nice. i assume since i cant see her in the real world my brain is trying to figure out ways so that i still do. i really wish that i could make things right, im still in the regrets stage i guess. i decided last night that instead of moping around here when i get done with classes in a two weeks that im going to go on a month long road trip with my cousin cross country. it should be a great experience. im not going to have a computer, limited phone capabilities and it should feel really good. since most of the way well either be on couches or camping out it'll reteach me a self reliance that i haven't had in a long time. plus it'll be the adventure that ive been craving for a while now. im feeling excited for it but right now the sadness of the breakup kind of takes over and doesn't let me feel to happy but i know as it gets closer this should be the opposite. i find myself each morning wondering what she's doing or what she did last night and that kind of drives me a little crazy. i wonder if she's building a new relationship with someone else or is she really doing what she said she was going to do and just working on herself. i obviously hope its the second one but who really knows. the urge to txt her is still insanely there but i took her number out of the phone and hid it somewhere so itll be impossible to do as soon as i leave the house. hopefully i can get my mind to start thinking back to its old routine and getting things done again instead of sitting on here all day. im going to start to read attached today, that should hopefully give me some insight on myself and what ive been doing wrong these last few relationships. maybe once i start doing that i wont want the days to go by so fast so that the healing is done. time goes by fast enough, hate having to make it feel rushed....
Am4Real Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 She's likely having the same thoughts about you -- it's normal -- it's part of the process!
Author reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 im kind of hoping that also, maybe miss me enough that shell txt me and want to try for another chance. pipe dreams i know but i guess still the beginning part of this process
justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I took his number out of my phone, even though I know it....but it makes it more difficult when I can't just go to his name and gives me a chance to think about it and stop myself. And that trip sounds like it could really be great for you =) day 2!
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