kbme311 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 My ex texted me on Monday. He asked if I was ok and asked me to call him. The next day I texted him and said that I couldn't call as there's no credit on my phone and I asked him what he wanted. No reply. Two days later I realised the text wasn't from his usual number so texted the number and said that I couldn't call and was confused about the numbers. I don't know what is going on here! It was me who broke up with him. He kept contacting me at the beginning but I wrote him a 'letter' (private message on facebook) explaining very clearly that I did not want to see him again, my reasons why and that I did not want to be friends. I mailed back his stuff so we didn't have to meet and we haven't seen each other since the break up. He hasn't contacted me since then and we broke up two months ago. I'm worried that something has happened. I know he had problems going on in his family life and he is prone to depression. Since he hasn't got back to me I'm just concerned. (I suppose as well there's a part of me that wants us to get back together and I'm hoping he's going to apologise for his behaviour that led to me dumping him) I was finally coming out of the break up pain and moving on with my life and now this...I dont' know what to do.
Author kbme311 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 (edited) He has deleted his facebook account. I can't find any way of contacting him and I'm really concerned. Do you think I should try and contact him until he picks up just to find out if he's ok? Or do you think I should just leave it? Also, after I was very clear about not wanting to be friends why do you think he's asking me to call? Obviously I'm only asking for guesses here, I'm not expecting anyone is psychic... Edited April 28, 2011 by kbme311
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 ill give my opinion but im still super early on so take it for what its worth. maybe try and find out if everything is alright, but be careful that he's just using you to see if you'll come back to make himself feel better. i mean i used the fact that my dog was sick to get my ex on the phone. said two things about my dog the rest i tried to talk about us. if you feel your ready for it and you've made some changes to better the relationship,why not call. maybe see where her at. if you think you can handle the other response of course
Author kbme311 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 ill give my opinion but im still super early on so take it for what its worth. maybe try and find out if everything is alright, but be careful that he's just using you to see if you'll come back to make himself feel better. i mean i used the fact that my dog was sick to get my ex on the phone. said two things about my dog the rest i tried to talk about us. if you feel your ready for it and you've made some changes to better the relationship,why not call. maybe see where her at. if you think you can handle the other response of course You pretended your dog was sick?! The relationship messed me up. I'm very wary about contacting him or talking to him as he's a charmer (I'm sure the ladies know what I mean here) he'll say whatever he thinks you want to hear but doesn't act on it. It's why I dumped him. He was being a total ass. I was finally getting my life back on track and he contacts me. On one hand I'm thinking, I'm not your counsellor or your shoulder to cry on but there's another part that is getting anxious because it's strange behaviour. You don't contact your ex girlfriend who has asked you not to contact her then not reply when she gets in contact. It's not normal. Am I right to be worried or should I just leave it? Do you think he is ready to start treating me with some respect and wants a second chance?
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 haha no im not that twisted,she really was sick that day. i found out some bad news youll never know unless you try and are you willing to live with the regret of not knowng but also the pain of finding out somthing you dont want to or not getting or hearing what you want? tough choice.
Author kbme311 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 haha no im not that twisted,she really was sick that day. i found out some bad news youll never know unless you try and are you willing to live with the regret of not knowng but also the pain of finding out somthing you dont want to or not getting or hearing what you want? tough choice. Well I hope your dog is ok now. I'm thinking about messaging one of his close friends on facebook to find out if he is ok ie not in hospital or something. It kills two birds with one stone I can stop worrying and I don't have to talk to him.
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 it obviously sounds like your interested in hearing for yourself what he has to say...but if you dont think it would be good for you the friend route is the best way to go i think
Author kbme311 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 I have just sent his friend a message on facebook asking if everything is okay with my ex and saying that I can't get in contact with him after him asking me to. I hate getting other people involved in my personal business but he is one of his closest friends so he should know what is going on and he also knows me. I haven't asked him to give out numbers or anything so hopefully he doesn't think I'm stalking him... In this way I don't have to talk to my ex but get to know if he's ok eg not in hospital or anything. My ex knows where I live and he's got my number. If he's desperate to talk to me he can call not send me a half assed text asking me to call him. I'll keep you posted on where it goes from here.
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 probably a good move. and if he's interested and changed now at he least he knows you still care and maybe hell make an effort. if no call then i guess you have your answer
Author kbme311 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 We'll see...you never know with these things. I haven't had any sleep tonight because of this. I'm obsessing about it and was just getting to that point before this happened where I was letting go and finally moving on...now I can't sleep I really liked him and it was very difficult to break up with him but I had to do it because of the way he treated me. So it hasn't been easy getting over it. It's why I want to avoid talking to him as I don't want to get my heart ripped out all over again. He'll have to make more of an effort than this to get me anywhere near him. Thanks for your help:)
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 sure thats what were all here for is some help. since you cant sleep you should check out american beauty and fight club. to movies ive watched the last two nights that have really made me evaluate things on a whole new level. ive seen them before but good to soak everything in again about material obsolescence and living in the now
Author kbme311 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 Yeah Fight Club is a great film. Keep meaning to get round to reading the book...how's that for living in the now:p
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 haha good,just have to throw american beauty in there
Author kbme311 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 Have just come off the phone with him... His friend didn't get back to me, so I got even more worried. Anyway, we were talking for about an hour. He said that he had looked me up on facebook and couldn't find me so texted me from a computer cos he wanted to find out what I've been up to. We talked for a long time, about an hour but not about us but he said he would call again....hmmmmmm Well at least he's ok. I'm not phoning him again.
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 thats good that he's ok. why did he want to know what you were up to though? and thats great that he didn't leave any kind of timeframe so your left wondering and hoping until whenever.
Author kbme311 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 (edited) Sorry I didn't see this. Why no time frame? The reason absolute no contact is brilliant is because it gives time for the dust to settle and for you to see clearly. I think it's about control. That's why no time frame. When he says I'll call, he is enjoying the fact that I will have to wait. He was always late as well by four hours or so! Must have loved the fact that I was forced to wait for him. As I look back on the relationship this pattern of control is becoming more and more apparent. I am changing my number on my cell so he can't contact me again. I'm so pleased that when I spoke to him, that I told him about all the cool and wondrous things that I was doing:lmao: When we broke up, he said that he didn't "do" relationships but still wanted to be friends. I told him no - absolutely not. He simply wants to avoid commitment whilst keeping me in his life. I think this is his way of worming around the friendship thing. When he texted me from the strange number I replied with, "What do you want?" I know now why he didn't reply. I also know that's he's chasing some other girl and she's not interested so he's sniffing around me again. Why did he want to know what I'm up to? Dunno. I've blocked him on facebook, haven't called or texted so he's probably just curious. He was crying though when he first spoke to me, he had to break off the conversation for a bit to control himself. So maybe he's missing me? So I'm changing my number, have blocked his email address and am not talking to him again... Edited May 3, 2011 by kbme311
nana841121 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 why girls always use breakup to test their BF? although it's me who broke up with him, my really intention was to get him closer to me and confess his love. well , he didn't pass this "test"
Author kbme311 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 why girls always use breakup to test their BF? although it's me who broke up with him, my really intention was to get him closer to me and confess his love. well , he didn't pass this "test" I kind of did dump him to see if he cared about me but it was a really bad relationship where he treated me badly. I thought change or die and the relationship died. I still really like him and I'm finding it very very difficult to move on but he wasn't good for me. The relationship was unhealthy. It's been just over a week since we spoke last and I'm only now not feeling like absolute hell. There has to be someone out there who'll treat me better. So I'm going to keep him out of my life and hope he doesn't come and see me as I don't think I'd be strong enough right now...
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