DayAfterDay Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Last Friday, on my birthday, I found out my ex has a boyfriend. We've been broken up for a little over a year and were together for three. Needless to say, this has been the most difficult year of my life, but I've made progress in my healing. When hearing this, I had the initial sinking feeling where your heart goes into your stomach, but I knew in the back of my head that this would happen eventually. Since then I've pretty much been back at where I was in the months after the break up. Lots of pain, no sleeping, no eating, etc. I went COMPLETE NC last October (so six months ago) and at this time she told me she still loved me, that I'm very dear to her, and that she had a "strong feeling" that we'll be okay being in each other's lives again, but she said if anything ever came of us again, it would have to start from a basic friendship. I sent her an email basically saying that I wanted to clear the air about any misconceptions due to silence or gossip from our mutual friends that I have ill will towards her or this new guy, and just basically that I know and that I just want her to be happy. No response, but none was expected. But I've regressed to a stage where I'm in a lot of pain. Is this normal?
justagirrl Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I think this is completely normal...even though my situation is different, I've lost sleep over this guy...loss of appetite...he's ends up in my dream somehow every night. I feel like there's no escaping it because of how much I think about him during the day. The guy I'm with started doing this new thing where he waits like 3 or 4 hours to text me back...and for those 3 to 4 hours, I'm completely miserable waiting and wondering why he isn't texting me and if he's even going to. And if he does, it's usually when he knows I'm sleeping. So your best bet is NO CONTACT. Completely none. I'm starting fresh tomorrow NC. It's gonna be really hard to do because I've tried and failed a few times...but I've come to believe that i'll save myself so much pain by not even contacting him at all. This way I won't have the pain of waiting and being disappointed...give it a try, I didn't want to, but so many people convinced me that this is the best thing to do. good luck
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Is what normal? regressing...well it sounds like you've been living the last year or 6 months NOT moving on. Of course it's going to hurt you when you find that your ex partner has moved on to someone else...but doesn't that show you even more so that she's not the one for you? At least not right now (and dont be like okay for now)...you need to move on with your life. Easier said than done. I know. And you shouldn't have emailed her. That was borderline psycho. She doesnt need your approval of her new man. That was creepy. Just let it go. Completely, let it go.
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