MissMoni Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I included my ex in a group email about a youtube video I thought was funny. He responded, but not until after one of our mutual friend had already responded to the thread. Then he never added any more to the conversation. I wasn't expecting him to answer at all, but it was kind of a painful reminder that we're probably never going to be friends again, at least for a LONG while (this is 6 months we've been broke up). I got angry with myself for breaking NC, posted here, and picked up again where I left off.
MissMoni Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I kind of feel like it's my burden to break NC since I told him back in Feb that it was hurting me to stay in contact with him and try to be his friend. The last time we talked he actually said, "I guess I'll talk to you...whenever, then" which just made me feel like he didn't care one way or another if we talked or not. He's very private with his feelings so of course there is no way for sure to know if he misses me or not, but now if we never speak again I'll kind of feel like it's my fault if I never break NC again..
Author justagirrl Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 I kind of feel like it's my burden to break NC since I told him back in Feb that it was hurting me to stay in contact with him and try to be his friend. The last time we talked he actually said, "I guess I'll talk to you...whenever, then" which just made me feel like he didn't care one way or another if we talked or not. He's very private with his feelings so of course there is no way for sure to know if he misses me or not, but now if we never speak again I'll kind of feel like it's my fault if I never break NC again.. I say give it a few days. LET HIM miss you...or at least have an opportunity to. If he sees you're trying to contact him, he doesn't have to work for anything. My guy is very private with his feelings. I know how he feels about me, but he's not the kind of person that's going to say it to my face all the time...and I have no idea if he misses me. I'm sure he does, but I have no way of knowing...which im not okay with, but accepting. Seriously it's gonna be really hard, but you have to let him miss you...give it a few days. you'll feel better, i'm already feeling better than i did day 1. give it a try
hurtex Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I say give it a few days. LET HIM miss you...or at least have an opportunity to. If he sees you're trying to contact him, he doesn't have to work for anything. My guy is very private with his feelings. I know how he feels about me, but he's not the kind of person that's going to say it to my face all the time...and I have no idea if he misses me. I'm sure he does, but I have no way of knowing...which im not okay with, but accepting. Seriously it's gonna be really hard, but you have to let him miss you...give it a few days. you'll feel better, i'm already feeling better than i did day 1. give it a try Day 11 doesn't feel so great :/
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 i feel you. same crappy pit in the stomach feeling. haven't eaten all morning and don't feel like doing anything.
hurtex Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 i feel you. same crappy pit in the stomach feeling. haven't eaten all morning and don't feel like doing anything. ugh reallyconfused what to do we do???
Author justagirrl Posted April 29, 2011 Author Posted April 29, 2011 I'm at my tanning salon job right now...and it sucks because I have nothing to do =/ and i'm just sitting here thinking about him...looking at his facebook =/ really sucks
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 haha i thought youd give me that answer. your farther along than i am
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 you have to get rid of the facebook. it will drive you insane. i did that with my last ex of 5 yrs. looked at her fb every day and all it did was make it 100 times harder
hurtex Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Ha we are not fb friends anymore.... but my sister is and I know her password just so I can check it I'm a mess... I'm mad at myself for asking for it and I'm trying to be good but it's so hard.
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 guess its your call whether to delete him or not,everyone will tell you yes and i think that was the best thing my ex could have done for me but its really up to what you think. might be really helpful for you though....
Fufu Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I will recommend you to delete and block him also... It helps not to look at him...
hurtex Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Fufu I understand why you're saying all this stuff but it makes me sad. I don't think I'm ready for reality.
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 as soon as your ready for the reality you can start to feel a little better...
dragonfly22 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Hi guys, I would like to join this thread as i'm in the same situation. This is day 4 NC for me. Its worse during the mornings (I've dreamt about him every.single.night so when I wake up I feel so sad and deppresed), and in the evening when I'm all by myself in my bed and think that he is, only 2 weeks later, already sharing his bed with someone else. I never was a gym or sports person but I joined a gym and started going to therapy. Both things have helped SO much. Of course I still feel awful, it has only been 2 weeks, but for example I have forced myself to go to the gym everyday right after I wake up feeling miserable. Right after the gym I feel alright and I'm able to function normally until the evening when I'm down again.
hurtex Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 just text him... I had to. I said. Hey! I miss my friend... hope you're doing well who knows if he'll respond but it made me feel less anxiety filled.
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 now how do you think your going to feel if he doesn't respond or if he just responds with a "hey things are good" and thats all he says? will you be ok with that or is it just going to bring you back to square one?
dragonfly22 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Hurtex...I sent my ex the same text last Friday, it said "I miss my best friend". He did reply, acting normal and somehow we ended talking about our relationship and let's just say it didn't end well. He just clarified he misses me as his friend too, but that's it. There's someone else in his life now and he wants to try things with her and maybe someday we could be together again but definitely not now (his words). Of course I'm not saying the same thing will happen to you. But I now wish he wouldn't have answered then. It still took me one more time texting him and...ending up getting really hurt again...to understand NC is what is best for ME right now. I'm just giving him an ego boost and no matter what I say, he is not interested in coming back.
hurtex Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 now how do you think your going to feel if he doesn't respond or if he just responds with a "hey things are good" and thats all he says? will you be ok with that or is it just going to bring you back to square one? I'm already at square one... I'm such a mess I don't think it'll make me so much worse... it'll probably make me realize I really do need to move on if he doesn't respond. And yah then I guess I'll really know that NC is the only thing I can do to get better myself
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 thats true. i hope you get the answer your looking for...
reallyconfused2542 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 id advise all of you to get the attached book. im about half way through and its already been a life changing read
hurtex Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 You were right... no response.. and I hurt.. .a lot.
wreckedhero Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Well I got dumped on tuesday and have sent a number of nasty messages. She says we need time apart and wants space. Is it too late to start no contact? What will she think if im not texting? It's just so hard when you have a phone and know the number off by heart. Shall I let her come to me?
dragonfly22 Posted April 30, 2011 Posted April 30, 2011 Hurtex I know how much it hurts right now but maybe it is better that way. As I told you before my ex did answer and it just sent me back to square one. Because everytime he answered I thought "maybe he is thinking about me, maybe he misses me" but then I realized he wasn't. He was just answering because he probably feels sorry for me and my pain. Just go NC for your own sake. I KNOW how hard it is...I want to talk to him every second of my day but I'm doing this for ME. I love myself and I deserve better.
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