Overseer Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 (edited) So, I broke up with my girlfriend a couple of days ago, I was actually feeling really happy, probably because I was the breaker, not the breakee, but I'm starting to feel it now. So, some back story then. I'm 19 and my ex is going to be 18 in about a week, we had been together for 2 years and 4 months near enough. We've had out problems in the past, but nothing massive really. We met at a Karate academy.. sort of, I dated one of her friends... her friend and I broke up but stayed friends and she invited me to my ex's birthday and that's how we met. She had a boyfriend at the time, which was pretty disappointing but, we stayed friends and talked on MSN a lot and feelings formed. We met up a couple of times and she was having problems in her relationship. To cut a long story short she ended up going behind her boyfriend at the times back with me and eventually broke up with him, we didn't get together however for another few months. So, we got together and it was great, the relationship was really fun and interesting, we were both really into each other and saw each other all the time. At the start of the relationship I was a bit jealous of other guys worried about her seeing other guys like how we met but I got over that fairly quickly because I realized she chose me for a reason... At the start of the relationship she was in high school and I'd just started college, but we both went to the same college when it came to my second year (which was also my final year there). We spent that entire year together with almost identical timetables so we spent all our breaks together etc. Our relationship was still really strong at this point. Then.. I went to University, this took a LOT of time out of when we could see each other, because where we would normally see each other every day we had to find other days to see each other, this wasn't much of a problem until I got a job... which took even more time out. We had to swap days around that we saw each other and it made things quit difficult. We were still in love though and we thought we would just get through it. Then she started looking at Universities... she chose a University that is fairly far away, about 3 hours or so on a train, which isn't really that cheap. But like I said to her at the time, I don't really care about the price to see her. We did end up having a conversation about how maybe we should just end it now to save the trouble and heart ache later, but we decided to see how things went. So, nearer to the end of our relationship she had been very stressed out about some work she has been doing for college, I've been helping her out with it a lot where I could but she was still very stressed out about it. The main problem we always had in the relationship was that I was always very easy to talk about things; this however made me very susceptible to being used as an emotional punch bag. Since I was the one there who talked to her and listened she often took things out on me, because I was there. She started becoming extremely hypocritical. For example, we BOTH play World of Warcraft, not much really but if she talked about it I'd always hear her out, whereas she'd just turn around and say something like "oh do we have to talk about that now" or for example if I was late when I was coming over to see her at times she would be really angry at me, but if she was late to mine I wouldn't mind really, just so long as she showed up. We broke up a couple of weeks ago and got back together. All I could think about at this point was all the things I'd done wrong, well, more the things I should have done, like putting a little more effort into the relationship with her, surprising her more. We talked though and I said I'd change, we got back together... big mistake, I changed, she didn't; and it very quickly became clear that she was causing a lot of the problems. I'm not saying I was perfect, but she was very moody, bitchy, she bullied me at times; singled me out in front of my friends for something I'd said and acted differently in how she reacted about things just because it was me. Whenever we had arguments I would always be very laid back about it, I'd be mature and stay calm and really take everything in, if something was my fault I'd says so, and apologize for it, but she would always handle it by yelling, crying, screaming and sometimes using blackmail to get her way. So the other day we were talking online over TeamSpeak with some of our friends, one of them is talking about their dissertation and University and she butts into the conversation, someone says as a joke oh who asked you to talk and she said something like "oh well you're talking about University and dissertations, of course you're talking to me", I said back "ummm... what do you know about dissertations?" which in retrospect didn't sound very nice, obviously, but well, she isn't even at University yet... I didn't mean it to sound like I was saying she was stupid or anything and I made that clear after, but the way she reacted was insane, she totally lashed out at me (in a private chat, not in front of my friends) and said she was furious and didn't want to talk. This really wound me up, I went to a friends to chill out and talk about things and came back, she had tried to apologize whilst I was gone so I didn't see it. We ended up talking and decided we weren't right for each other, that we had grown apart and looking back on the past 2 years and a bit it's really starting to upset me seeing how things have turned out. We're still friends and are talking, so, I'm not using the NC rule I know but I think it would be weirder not to talk to her at the moment, especially since my friends are hers too and we all talk on TeamSpeak... I need opinions about the relationship, tips on how to cope and just advice for the future I guess, how I should be in a relationship and how to cope better for now. The feelings aren't too bad at the moment but it could be because I'm keeping my mind off it for now... Edited April 28, 2011 by Overseer
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