chucksbabygurl17 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Well my boyfriend and I have been fighting alot latley because when he is home and never pays any attention to me and he acts like I am nothing and my feelings dont matter... We live together and he has stupiod friends that I dont like because they dont respect me at all and when they come to my house they dont clean after thereselfs and his one friend phil he acts like he is the one who is dateing my boyfriend not me.. And my boyfriend always goes out to the bar and talks to all these different girls and dances with them and I am just sitting at our home waiting for him until like 5 or 6 in the morning he says he is not cheating but I am having a very hard time beleiving that.. I love him so much but to tell you the truth it is getting more and more harder to love him each day because I really dont feel like I am his girl I feel like a slave more than anything if I say hold on Ill do it in a minute he freakes out and calls me lazy and I am fat.. The thing is he said I am not alowed to say not to him and I am not alowed to do anything with out his permission.. But he is alowed to do what ever he wants no qestions ask.. i need some advice should I stay with or should I leave him..
chuckles11 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Um.....So what are the positives again? Time to go OP.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I think he failed the boyfriend audition. Out out!!
Nexus One Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 In my opinion, he shows typical player behavior. He holds you up to higher standards than himself, I've found that to be a sign of men that cheat. He disrespects you, he brings people into your house that don't respect you and who you find unpleasant. He goes clubbing without out you. He ignores you. Pretty much all the things you're mentioning check the boxes of a player. I'm NOT saying that IS the case, because I could have it wrong. We can not tell you what to do, you will have to make your own choice regarding this, based on the facts that you find important.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 In my opinion, he shows typical player behavior. He holds you up to higher standards than himself, I've found that to be a sign of men that cheat. He disrespects you, he brings people into your house that don't respect you and who you find unpleasant. He goes clubbing without out you. He ignores you. Pretty much all the things you're mentioning check the boxes of a player. I'm NOT saying that IS the case, because I could have it wrong. We can not tell you what to do, you will have to make your own choice regarding this, based on the facts that you find important. Thank you, I have had trouble finding the right words to articulate this.
runner Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 two ideas: first, always be aware of your needs and whether or not those needs are being met, or not. secondly, remember that you teach others how you would like to be treated. /best
Sivok Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 A typical 'I fell for this guy because he's a bad boy alpha male who's eye caught lucky girl me, and now he's ignoring and abusing me'. Sure, his dominating character may be attractive, but judging by what you said here he's being downright abusive. Worst of all? You're sitting there at home doing nothing while he goes out and flat out disrespects you. You're giving him way too much control, and it sounds like when you try to gain some of that back he just verbally abuses you. You've reached the point of no return with this guy. He's never going to respect you like he did at first when you fell in love with him, and I can guarantee he's cheating on you. Tough to swallow? Ofcourse. Is it the truth? You bet. Take off those rose colored glasses, hun, and face reality. If you want my credentials, my current gf was in a relationship with a similar type for a very long time (except he was physically abusive as well), and the only time he began respecting her was after she left him- he's been blowing up her phone for months until I blocked his number for her. Your man is nothing but an insecure boy who needs to act macho all the time and put others down to get his ego fill - don't let one of those people be you
willma Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Life's too short. Be happy. If it feels wrong, then it probably is. Do not let yourself be stuck with this soul-sucking @$$h*!# any longer. Chin-up and be strong enough to say to yourself that you deserve a lot better...and you do. All the people in this world, and you can't find a good partner? I bet you can walk into any crowded room, snap your fingers, and have any man in the place you wanted. Don't sell yourself short. Dump him!
willma Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I love him so much but to tell you the truth it is getting more and more harder to love him each day because I really dont feel like I am his girl I feel like a slave more than anything if I say hold on Ill do it in a minute he freakes out and calls me lazy and I am fat.. The thing is he said I am not alowed to say not to him and I am not alowed to do anything with out his permission.. But he is alowed to do what ever he wants no qestions ask.. i need some advice should I stay with or should I leave him.. Being with a life-partner should never, ever, ever be like this. Mentally beating you down, tearing away at your self-esteem, etc...is just as bad as him physically abusing you. My sisters both went through this and I can tell you it tears me apart to see the state they are in right now. Both are divorced, thank God, but the effects of this kind of relationship can alter your life permanently. If I ever see either one of these jerks, it'll be the last day of their life! This insecure, douche-bag, is just one wife-beater T-shirt away from physically beating you...RUN as fast as your legs can move. Of course, these type of jerk offs are the one's that will threaten your life if you even talk about leaving...so don't talk about it. They are so controlling, they figure if they can't have you, no one can. Just disappear! Sweetheart, as a guy, I can tell you his behavior is really quite disturbing. Your man should be putting you up on a pedestal and showering you with love, if he isn't, time for a new one.
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