musemaj11 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 When I was in university getting an engineering degree, most people were in it for the love of practical science, inventing things, finding solutions to problems etc. Some were in it for nothing but the title. I was in it for the lack of a better idea. Some small minority (that would be classified as creeps by most of you but who were just normal people not very good with social skills) were in because it seemed like the easiest guaranteed way to make money and status and get a girl that way. Isn't that the saddest thing you've heard? Society tricked them into working their asses off and contributing to humanity in return for the pipedream of getting someone to love them, which obviously didn't happen after they graduated. But they did end up getting high paid jobs, being usefull to society and getting material crap to get their minds of how miserable their live was. Damn, engineering degree sounds like accounting degree.
Woggle Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Maybe it's a security thing. If she is "higher class" than her BF, she might think he would be less likely to dump her. She doesn't have to compete like she would for a good looking, rich guy in her socio-economic class. Maybe it's because she deals with enough white collar yuppies with entitlement complexes on a daily basis that she knows what an unlikable and repulsive bunch way too many of them are. Who wants to be with somebody that would probably stab their own grandmother to make another million? Also being a lawyer she probably sees what crooks many yuppies are.
Author NoMagicBullet Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 Yep, I just knew the cynics would come flocking around to denouce this article! Not that I think it's the gospel truth for everyone, but I thought it was a good account of the woman's relationship with her boyfriend and how it worked for them. I wish she had talked a little more about the pressure she gets family & others to ditch him and find that stereotypical "Power Husband" they think she's supposed to have. I think the "Rich Man" in the title was misleading, and "Stressed-Out, Success-Consumed, White-Collar Professional" would have been more accurate, but the title was already too long. I totally agree with Woggle: Maybe it's because she deals with enough white collar yuppies with entitlement complexes on a daily basis that she knows what an unlikable and repulsive bunch way too many of them are. Who wants to be with somebody that would probably stab their own grandmother to make another million? Also being a lawyer she probably sees what crooks many yuppies are. I think this is exactly why she's happy to be with her working-class boyfriend. I'm sure there are some good men who fall into the yuppie category, but the author has probably seen too many of the bad apples and the negatives of the life to believe that she should dump a perfectly great boyfriend to find a man who might be or might turn into one of those bad apples. The woman appreciates what she has with him, and I think that's great!
StoneCold Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Sounds like an article of a girl explaining why she likes her man....nothing wrong with that but the generalizations are a little out there.
GorillaTheater Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 This article is a joke. The chick who wrote it will dump this guy the first chance she gets for a sexually attractive guy who makes a lot more money. And if need be, she will cheat with some high powered married guy if she can't find one of her own. Highly competitive women, esp. lawyers, just don't respect men who make radically less money than they do. It's part of their status-oriented mentality, which this chick is obviously highly sensitive to. What the article is really all about is this chick's obsession with status, and her bf's lack of it. If she didn't care so much about it, it wouldn't have warranted an article. "Denial" is all over this. Well, one of the female attorneys I work with, who incidently has a breathtaking rack, is married to a guy who washes down parking lots and has two kids with him. She seems happy as hell. My brother in law started out as a welder, went into the safety field, and is now a senior supervisor and makes more money than I do (and I do pretty well). He's a bit of a dick, but has a good life and marriage with a (college educated) teacher. Can't assume too much about relationships. They're as complicated as the people who are in them.
threebyfate Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I think people worry way too much about socio-economic status. Either your relationship will work or it won't which has more to do with compatibility of core values and direction, how you were raised which creates positive and negative triggers, than how much money you earn or what you have in the bank. Having said that, if you have assets to protect, you're going to be careful about who you allow close to you. The last thing you want, is to solely valued for your earning power and/or fiscal assets. This trumps genders.
Jazzari Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Sounds like an article of a girl explaining why she likes her man....nothing wrong with that but the generalizations are a little out there.I was offended by the stereotype she assigned to "rich" men. I could jump back and talk about working men being brainless guys who do nothing but watch TV, hang out with the guys at the bar, and yell at girls who walk down the street. Yadda, yadda, yadda.. Both "working man" and "rich" stereotypes are ridiculous and offensive. She can rave about her bf all she wants. But there was no need to insult others.
threebyfate Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I was offended by the stereotype she assigned to "rich" men. I could jump back and talk about working men being brainless guys who do nothing but watch TV, hang out with the guys at the bar, and yell at girls who walk down the street. Yadda, yadda, yadda.. Both "working man" and "rich" stereotypes are ridiculous and offensive. She can rave about her bf all she wants. But there was no need to insult others.It's her way to rationalize or justify her decision to be with someone who she views as lower on the socio-economic scale. It's more a defensiveness, than any "plan" or advice to follow. If anything, this article says more about her views on stereotyping and slotting people into boxes or levels, than it says about relationships in general. I wouldn't take her seriously.
musemaj11 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Having said that, if you have assets to protect, you're going to be careful about who you allow close to you. The last thing you want, is to solely valued for your earning power and/or fiscal assets. This trumps genders. Yea right. 99% of marrying ups are done by women. Unfortunately, instead of teaching men to be careful of being valued by their earning power, society teach them to actually take pride in it.
threebyfate Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Yea right. 99% of marrying ups are done by women. Unfortunately, instead of teaching men to be careful of being valued by their earning power, society teach them to actually take pride in it.No, you're twisting what I'm saying to agree with your agenda. My perception and current reality of marriage isn't about marrying in any direction. It's about being with a compatible person in a loving relationship full of trust and respect. This means you don't take advantage of each other in any way. Having said that, I've never been interested in either financially supporting anyone or nurturing peter pan. We have an emotional and intellectual partnership.
musemaj11 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 Having said that, I've never been interested in either financially supporting anyone or nurturing peter pan. We have an emotional and intellectual partnership. Typical belief of modern independent successful women. Imagine if men had the same belief as women such as you do. Humanity would have ceased to exist a long time ago because no man would want to share his resources to a woman.
sanskrit Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 (edited) So I don't get it. Is this article supposed to be informative, or merely a woman with a voice defending her personal life? That's fine and dandy listing what she likes about her man, but slandering white collar workers with lame stereotypes? Seems like the only wealthy people she knows are those from movies. Then again, I suppose miss lawyer wouldn't get much hype over an article titled 'my bf moves furniture and im his sugar momma, **** off' Bingo, if I were the BF in question, would dump this one in a hot minute. Imagine the condescension and patronizing flying this poor dude's way while spending time with her. "I just want to congratulate myself on looking past the normal male social indicia of attractiveness and continuing to date my gorgeous boyfriend." Also, does anyone else see anything amusing with being defensive enough to actually write this article? I remember a platonic girlfriend of mine going on about how her current BF had lots of good qualities despite not being attractive... they didn't last. Edited April 29, 2011 by sanskrit
eerie_reverie Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 What a dumb article. What I got out of it was: -she hates her job -she hates everyone she works with -she can't think of an alternative to working for one particular stuck-up law firm -her bf offers an escape -she likes to draw stereotypes from every aspect of her life I can't believe that: -all white-collar professionals are boring (all the ones I know are nuts) -all blue-collar workers are happy (financial strain tends to stress one out) -the "fun" she has with her bf's working class firneds does not get old (at 25 I am over staying out late cause it's not worth how dumb I feel the next day) It's great that her relationship is working out but I don't see what that has to do with him being working-class.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I just realized another example today. One of my clients is this absolutely beautiful woman who is on maternity leave from her high-paying position. She married a roofer and they have twins. (Son and daughter).He doesn't make as much as her I am sure. He is even kind of "runty." I can see exactly what she sees in him though. He is a really positive and genuine husband and father. He strikes me as the type that went through the ringer before and is really proud and grateful for his family. They seem to have a great relationship.
eerie_reverie Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I also wonder why she mentions money if she's really talking about lifestyle- and the main pointshe's trying to make is that she hates hers. You can have a boring office job and make very little money. Conversely, you can have your own blue-collar business and make loads. What do "high-paying", "white collar", "rich", and "blue collar" even mean?
Wolf18 Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I think money matters to women, but to a woman that already has money I doubt it would get her attention as much. Men who work white collar jobs tend to be softer, in not as good shape, and indeed, a little more boring/nerdy. (of course there are many exceptions) Guys who do physical labor tend to have good bodies and are usually more rugged, which is very sexually attractive women . Generally the rule is, the woman wants to marry the white collar guy and sleep with the blue collar guy, but if she isn't that hot then she picks one or the other.
alethean Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 Bingo, if I were the BF in question, would dump this one in a hot minute. Imagine the condescension and patronizing flying this poor dude's way while spending time with her. "I just want to congratulate myself on looking past the normal male social indicia of attractiveness and continuing to date my gorgeous boyfriend." Also, does anyone else see anything amusing with being defensive enough to actually write this article? I remember a platonic girlfriend of mine going on about how her current BF had lots of good qualities despite not being attractive... they didn't last. Thank you!! I was trying to say this earlier, but you said it much better.
SxB Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 I know the cynics will come out of the woodwork to refute this one, but for eveyone who's not a die-hard cynic yet, I thought this was a great article about work and relationships: 3 Huge Reasons I'd Rather Be With My Working-Class Boyfriend Than a Rich Guy Well, Woman who want a Man to be making lots of Money doesn't want a Man, she wants Money. On the other hand, a Woman who doesn't want the dudes Money, won't give a sh*it what he does for a living, she will want him.
Woggle Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 For all we know she might come from a working class background herself and after spending enough time with white collar yuppies she realizes that many of them are pretty much soulless underneath the classy be exterior. She sounds like she is realizing that the materialistic rat race world might not be where it is at and I don't think she should be criticized for it. Somebody here said that white collar people are nuts and I agree but it is a bad kind of nuts. I just think it is refreshing to hear a woman saying the hell with money and status and actually looking at the character of a person. What is so wrong about this?
dressing up Posted April 29, 2011 Posted April 29, 2011 There is another explanation. Some women get a thrill out of dating down. One prominent example of this is middle class and upper middle class girls from the suburbs with inner city drug dealing gang member boyfriends. If she didn't get to fully explore her options and have a healthy' date=' robust dating life in her adolescence then she could be making up for lost time with a guy denied to her back then. There are so many examples out there of those making up for their teens in their 20's, 30's, and 40's. You can find many of them on sex offender registries. [/quote'] I'm not a fan of dating down (or up, for that matter).I want to date someone who's about an equal, plus minus. But the guy friend I've been talking about whom I miss now is "down" from me, status-wise. He was a joy to be around with and I had so much fun with him that I didn't have with my "up" exes. So much so that when things changed between us, I was really upset. I agree with the article. These guys are a real treat. There's little pressure hanging out with them, unless you include societal pressure, because they don't take themselves seriously. But my guy friend isn't just a bummer that doesn't work or intends to work in a so-called blue-collar field all his life. And because he has plans and is working toward his goal, that makes him all the more attractive. Darn, now I have to go back to the LS coping section again.
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