mo mo Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Doesn't have to be literal stalking.. but let's say you go where he goes and try to grab his attention or stuff like that, but you're too shy to actually talk to him. Are any of you guilty of such behavior?
Jazzari Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 The most I've ever done is take a slight detour just so I can walk by a certain guy's desk. If doing that a few times doesn't get a reaction, then I'm done.
Author mo mo Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 The most I've ever done is take a slight detour just so I can walk by a certain guy's desk. If doing that a few times doesn't get a reaction, then I'm done. I'm sorry that's just ridiculous and cute at the same time
Author mo mo Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 Mating is a predatory past time so no one should be feeling guilty about the hunt. You're right. No one should feel guilty.. but a lot of people feel really shy and insecure about it.
one goal Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 People call me a stalker, but I don't stalk my teacher.
Author mo mo Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 The most I've ever done is take a slight detour just so I can walk by a certain guy's desk. If doing that a few times doesn't get a reaction, then I'm done. ANyways the reason I think it is ridiculous is because you are assuming the guy has to think you are doing what you are doing just to get his attention. If you are walking by his desk to go somewhere he isn't just going to assume that you want his attention. He's not gonna go brag to his friends "you'll never guess who walked by MY desk today!!" But yea, that's exactly the kind of thing I am asking about. Someone I work with is doing some peculiar stuff.. but I wasn't sure if it was because she had to go a certain way, or if she was actually trying to get me to notice. Today I caught her talking about me to someone else.. so now I know for sure
TaraMaiden Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Doesn't have to be literal stalking.. but let's say you go where he goes and try to grab his attention or stuff like that, but you're too shy to actually talk to him. Are any of you guilty of such behavior? No. But I've had it done to me by a guy.....
dreamingoftigers Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 People call me a stalker, but I don't stalk my teacher. Yes, you do. It has been discussed. Furthermore though, I am quite certain that my past behaviors would have been considered inappropriate, if not stalking. I would show up at places where my ex would be, call him constantly etc. Ask him a bunch of insecure questions after our breakup. This was before text, but I bet I would have texted him off of the wall too. I was convinced that he was my soulmate and that no one else could take his place. I also did suicide attempts over the dissolution of our relationship. Essentially I was the psycho ex-girlfriend. Glad to say I grew out of that nicely. I won't EVER chase someone on their way out the door again, in fact I would help them leave and reassure them that I wish them well.
BiscuitXOXO Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Yes I have *guilty grin*. When I think some1 in the room is cute, I generally keep track of where they are in the back of my mind. And just kinda...you know. Maneuver closer. Then eventually, if/when I am beside them I initiate convo. Also in high school I used to attempt to get assigned the seat closest to my crush :lmao: because I'm stuck there for the rest of year, and might as well like it, right? But I also do the same thing to avoid someone. Everytime I see them come closer out of the corner of my eye, I slideeeee away.
cerridwen Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I had a crush on a barista who worked one of those small coffee carts. I'd go buy coffee I didn't really want and end up embarrassing myself by knocking things over, having something on my face, so on. He was beyond nice about it and eventually asked me out.
Lilmisus Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Oh my.....I was once so guilty of stalking that I honestly feel ashamed when I think back on it, and feel ashamed sharing the story, but hey, why not?! It was four years ago though when I was 16, and I would never do anything like that again. There was this guy...crack head, I'm pretty sure, 22, and now that I think about it, probably a pedophile. He was my perfect type at the time, tall, incredibly skinny, older, and a bit of a dork. He first went after my friend who was one year older than me, and who was moving away soon, but she was smart enough to know that he was extremely bad news, and would avoid him. Me though, with little experience with guys, wasn't that smart. He would talk to me any chance he could, asked personal questions, like if I was a virgin (yes), if I ever had boyfriends (yes), why they didn't take my virginity (really?), if my parents would allow me to go to the movies with him sometime (I don't think so..why?), and all these other questions that turned me bright red, and kept him going. About a month later, I lost all contact with him, and I felt regretful. I wished that I would have gone out with him, since I was sooooo infatuated (I could have sworn I was in love even!), and I wanted a chance at him. So, I found out from a friend where he worked at. I found out his last name. Looked him up online, realized that hey..he got arrested for drug charges not too long before that (on a local jail database system), but his address was there (never did anything with it), yay! And after much encouraging from my also young friends, I went to his job to say hi to him and ask him out. They said "Lilmisus! You have to do this! If nothing else, leave a note on his car to ask him out and give him your number! If a guy did that for me, I would be sooooo happy, so will he!" I went there a few times though, before I got the nerve to actually talk to him. It was at some restaurant, and I'd always pass by it to see if he was there. My friend decided to help me out by calling up his job and saying how she went there to eat the night before, said that he was an amazing server, and asked when he was working next, which was the next day. So the next day, I went in there, at the beginning of his shift, and waited up at the front and asked for him. He went up there, saw me, and I could tell right away that he was pissed off. He asked me "what are you doing here? How did you know I worked here?" And I told him that a friend told me, and that I saw him in the parking lot (true) when I passed by, so I decided to stop in and say hi. He asked if I called the day before pretending to be his sister, and I was like "huh??? Yeah..right, cause I would do that.." and he then asked if I was stalking him..to which I said no . Then I said.."I should probably go....." And he said "Yeah..." And I left. Surprisingly, none of my friends could understand just why he didn't ask me out again. Saying that he was an idiot for passing me up. None said "Lilmisus..you were an idiot, don't you ever do that again!" But none of them had to. No more stalking for me!
one goal Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Yes, you do. It has been discussed. Furthermore though, I am quite certain that my past behaviors would have been considered inappropriate, if not stalking. I would show up at places where my ex would be, call him constantly etc. Ask him a bunch of insecure questions after our breakup. This was before text, but I bet I would have texted him off of the wall too. I was convinced that he was my soulmate and that no one else could take his place. I also did suicide attempts over the dissolution of our relationship. Essentially I was the psycho ex-girlfriend. Glad to say I grew out of that nicely. I won't EVER chase someone on their way out the door again, in fact I would help them leave and reassure them that I wish them well. Only thing I do is check in on her facebook page to see if she adds anything new like friends and see if she updates her interest and activities.
Rinnix Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Stalking, nope. I used to pretend to not understand class assignments so that I could ask the cute guy how to do it. It always ended in success.
Lilmisus Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 He was probably a parolee so his life was under a microscope. Having a relationship with a minor could have easily turned into a statutory rape charge and perhaps intensive anal care when he revisited his local correctional facility. But..he did ask me out, so if that's true, it obviously didn't matter to him. I was so upset because I told him no and did the psycho thing of stalking him to get my chance back. Mmmmm, to be 16 and that dumb again..
Rinnix Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 And what are the metrics by which this success was measured? The guy thought I was cute as well and id end up with a date. Im no longer in classes or single, but who knows if it would work again for me if I was.
Nexus One Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 And what are the metrics by which this success was measured? By measuring it in Planck lengths and using Standard Model metrics, how else would one go about measuring something like that?
ASG Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 (edited) Yeah, I've done a bit of stalking that I'm not proud of... I was the psycho ex gf. I would call and text and even drive past his house to see if he was there! If he was, I would then proceed to call him! He was dating someone else already, so almost never picked up, which drove me insane When I got over it, I swore I would NEVER be that person again. But I still recognize that potential in me! If I let my emotions run wild I go slightly crazy! I need to keep it in check at all times. Edited April 28, 2011 by ASG
singlelife Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I find that most women stalk. They may not fee like it is but if you constantly are looking at someone's fb page, trying to find out who they date, show up where they are, and sabotage potential dates for a dude that's stalking in every instance. Also driving by their house.
Hules Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I've been wondering about this myself. There is a newish girl at work she started a couple of months ago, I just so happened to be working with her the day she started (not working in my usual area). So I showed her the ropes yada, yada whatever. After that I have been working in my regular area which is on the other side of the floor. This girl has been doing what I call drive-by's not far from what Jazzari was doing. Which I thought was really odd when I first noticed it, because she had to go well out of her way to come over to my side of the floor, caught her looking at me a few times then she would quickly scurry off after she realised I noticed. I thought it was pretty silly but cute as well, didn't really think anything else of it. Last few weeks she has become more aggressive in actually coming and talking to me for the most ridiculous reasons (once again cute but really silly). She's seems to be quite flustered and laughs at pretty much everything I say (even when I know its not funny). Around other people shes fine, me totally weird. One of my other colleagues who I've been working with for about 2 years started asking me if I was single yada yada etc. She suggested that I should add this other girl on facebook because shes single *cough*. Anyway I ignored that, few days ago this girl added me on facebook. Reason I haven't asked her out is because: A) I don't like the idea of dating someone I work with. B) Not sure if shes actually single (shes told other guys at work shes seeing someone, and shot them down). C) Not the usual type I go after (shes sort of a party girl).
SmileFace Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 and it isn't sexual assault if they consent right? Exactly... I don't see how you are being sarcastic like my post,shrugs
rocketboy9 Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 About a month ago I asked a woman out that I knew. We had been friendly and I got the speech about being friends. So be it and I backed off. Since than she is now keeping tabs on me via email, txt (as in what are you doing and whom are you doing it with) and when we are in the same place I catch her watching me all the time . She makes it a point to be near by . She has made it clear she wants to be just friends yet she is doing this plus wants emotional intimacy and support from me. Why she is doing this is beyond me. I wish someone would drop a brick on my head already
Nexus One Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 She has made it clear she wants to be just friends yet she is doing this plus wants emotional intimacy and support from me. Why she is doing this is beyond me. It's possible that she's in love with someone else, but that guy will not give nurture her emotionally. So for sexual attraction she attracted to him, but for emotional attraction she's attracted to you.
Hules Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 If you are worried about losing your job somehow due to dating a coworker then don't worry. By having such a concern in the first place demonstrates you already lost your humanity' date=' lost any resemblance of a human life, and are dead where it counts, on the inside.[/quote'] Not at all, I know for a fact I wouldn't lose my job. Its more that I don't like to "**** where I eat" so to say. I like to keep my private life and professional life separate. Whilst that is still possible to a degree I guess, honestly more than anything its because I've never dated someone I've worked with and I am not sure how to go about it. All the girls I've dated had relationships with have been from outside work. So this is new to me. It is a classic passive' date=' evasive maneuver women use to deflect guys they don't want. It means nothing. You'll have to actually ask her yourself. If she tells you she does have someone then ignore her. It doesn't matter if she does or doesn't. You can't have a relationship or sex with a girl who wants to play hide and seek.[/quote'] True, guess I will just ask her. All that means is she definitely will put out or do you not like sex? If it doesn't last then the memories and mementos will make good kindling on cold winter nights. Yeah I like sex however I have a much lower libido than guys my age. One night stands or flings have very little appeal to me. So if thats what shes after than well, yeah I'm not really interested. She is pretty cute though I'll give her that around 5'9 brunette, blue eyes, slender build, pretty face.
TheLoneSock Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 I had a crush on a barista who worked one of those small coffee carts. I'd go buy coffee I didn't really want and end up embarrassing myself by knocking things over, having something on my face, so on. He was beyond nice about it and eventually asked me out. You hear that fellas? She actually pursued a nice guy, until he asked her out. Let this put all your fears to bed. No more crying and whining.
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