tassle01 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I have been dating a man for a little bit over a year and we have had our shares of great times as well as the worst of times. About 2 months ago he got ahold of my phone bills and found that I was speaking to a long time friend from school ( a man ) and got very jealous. I told him I felt as though my privacy was invaded and that the relationship was over because he could not respect my privacy nor could he trust me when I was being honest in saying this was just a friend, nothing more. We have been faithful to one another and for about 2 months after the phone bill fiasco we spoke here and there but did not see each other as I was away for work. We began seeing each other again and things were very tense the past couple of weeks. He would yell at me often and find every little thing to complain about. I came to surprise him after work yesterday, hoping it would cheer him up but he freaked out again. I am not sure where his anger is stemming from but I was just about fed up with it and for the first time in a very long time I raised my voice at him and accidentely hit the mirror on the side of his car and it broke ... he became very engraged and told me he never wanted to see me again. Today, he got some very important results back from work and his sister told me that the results were positive. After over a year of being his support system and backbone, he didn't so much as send me a text message to say that the results were great and thank me for the support. After not having learnt my lesson, and due to a lack of self control I came to see him after his work day again today to congratulate him and he would not speak to me and told me he would press charges if I came close to him again. I was very embarassed because I have never been violent or anything with him that would neccesitate any criminal charges but I do know that I love him and people do get moody so now I am not sure what to do. I sent him a text message saying congratulations on the results and appologizing for the car fiasco the other day. I haven't contacted him yet but am losing my mind ... I am not sure if I should go no contact or keep contacting even though he isn't answering me and hope for an eventual response ... I love him and want to work out our issues but he is very stubborn and refuses to have any contact with me although he says he does love me.
Professor X Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 The guy made up his mind, it's his decision now, so you must go NC. You did, after all, broke up with him to begin with, whether it was justified or not is not the issue, the point is you made that call. All I can say is that something like that can change a man, especially if you say you had a good RS prior to that. It hurts and it's hard and he might be stubborn, but nonetheless, he told you to leave him alone.
Author tassle01 Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 During the period where we were broken up it was more of the distance seperating us as we still spoke everyday. How long do I have to do NC? Just do it until he contacts me or is there no hope? I told him I wanted him back and to work on our relationship and get back to that good place we were once at and he says that he feels I will never change and my character will always remain. I really have been very good to him and he is easily upset by the smallest of things. I want to go NC and not contact him but I am so happy for his accomplishments and really just want to congratulate him and celebrate with him Having to leave him alone after all we have been through and not being able to celebrate such a joyous moment is killing me
Professor X Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 During the period where we were broken up it was more of the distance seperating us as we still spoke everyday. How long do I have to do NC? Just do it until he contacts me or is there no hope? Well, yeah, if you're planning on waiting for him indefinitely. I told him I wanted him back and to work on our relationship and get back to that good place we were once at and he says that he feels I will never change and my character will always remain. I really have been very good to him and he is easily upset by the smallest of things. I want to go NC and not contact him but I am so happy for his accomplishments and really just want to congratulate him and celebrate with him Having to leave him alone after all we have been through and not being able to celebrate such a joyous moment is killing me I'm sorry, I know how hard it is for you, but you gotta respect his wishes, for better or for worse. The only thing I can advice you to do is to try and move on, try and forget him; If he comes around later on, than you have the choice to either take him back or not. But until then, take care of yourself and move on.
Author tassle01 Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 He now sent me a text message after my first few hours of NC saying "althought you made my work process very difficult, I thank you for the support. Thank you" I have not responded but I'm not sure if this is his way of saying good riddance or his way of contact. Not sure if I should reply to him or keep the NC going ...
Professor X Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 He now sent me a text message after my first few hours of NC saying "althought you made my work process very difficult, I thank you for the support. Thank you" I have not responded but I'm not sure if this is his way of saying good riddance or his way of contact. Not sure if I should reply to him or keep the NC going ... I'm not gonna give you some false hope, so I will suggest you to leave it as it is. Don't reply.
Author tassle01 Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 It is beyond me why he would send the text message in the first place ... I can't understand if that is some kind of closure or what it is? Confused
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