iamenough Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 My story is here somewhere but I'm not about to go hunting for it in back pages.. here is the breakdown: - to date we have known each other for 13 years - TONS of mutual friends - friends for 11 years before we ever hooked up - dating on off through 2009/early 2010 - strong, solid relationship (or so i thought) from october to may 2010 - cheated on my birthday in may, i found out that day. - relationship officially ended on may 31st - June 1st if you want to get technical down to the hour. - removed myself from facebook - started dating, re-actived my facebook, kept him on there - found out months later, via facebook that their "anniversary" is may 24th (WTF?) - his current gf knows he cheated on me with her, I personally called her out for it on may friggin 9th! - they are still together - he text me a few weeks ago saying the following: 1. he made a huge mistake 2. he's sorry daily 3. he misses me - i (STUPIDLY) asked to talk to him in person. - he agreed, said "i'm man enough (i hope) to listen" - the day we were supposed to meet, he blew me off entirely - i text a week later asking what happened - basically silence in return Oddly enough, THAT was my breaking point. I deleted him from FB, email yadda yadda yadda. I know a lot of people are probably wondering why the hell I bothered with a "friendship" - We live in a small city, all my friends in town are his friends as well. He is literally at my house on a weekly basis playing cards with my house-mate (we do not see each other when he is here - I basically hide, or go out) - Not only that but one of our mutual friends died a couple months ago. It put a lot in perspective for me and I realized I was just happy to have my friends (including him) it made forgiveness a little easier (at the time) and I just felt like I really wanted to "forgive" properly. I thought I could suck it up, get over myself, be happy for him and move forward without debasing my character or holding on to grudges. The whole reason why I even wanted to talk to him in person was because I was REALLY hoping I'd hear a sincere "I'm sorry" live... in the flesh. I thought it would help us at least repair our long time friendship. BUT NOW?! ................ I'm just beyond confused, angry, hurt, the whole bit. It's like he does this for fun or out of boredom or.. I have NO idea. About a week after I deleted him I got a text from him quoting what you could equate to "our song" - Oddly enough I was seeing that band that very night, so I assumed that's why he sent it. Then the next day he text again.. this time a simple "Hello" - I ignored both. He hasn't tried to contact me since but he was around the house a lot more frequently during that week. His activity here has died down a bit though, and now I only expect him on the usual (weekly cards) day. Guess he got the point. Anyway, since going NC I just feel worse somehow. I almost started to feel guilty for ignoring his texts. I've never been a game player or one to dish out the silent treatment. I guess I'm just having a hard time reminding myself this is necessary. I also miss him with a whole new intensity. It's like he died too or something... can anyone relate to this?! I can't talk to my friends about it for obvious reasons and I feel like I'm going a bit crazy. I never had hope to "go back" to our relationship but I did have A LOT of hope for our friendship. I miss him pretty badly. I wanted us to come out of this stronger and better off. Before we made the mistake of being a couple, we DID have a good friendship. I'm f'n sad today.
Miss_G Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I can relate exactly to how you are feeling. I too was very good friends with my ex before we got together and after nearly 4 years of bliss it fizzled out. I was truly heartbroken and mourned his loss like a death. I cried ALL the time for no reason. I couldn't even face ANYTHING that reminded me of him. Clothes, films, songs and even places we had visited. This was 8 months ago. We have never been NC because we have a child but we have had LC and periods of not speaking and contact through a family member. We have repaired our friendship slightly and he has been confiding in me about his family problems and issues at work. He does make like flirty comments but there is definitely no desire for him to be a couple again. Up until a couple of days ago I was feeling very good and confident. I had met a new bloke and was feeling on top of the world. This has, in a matter of weeks, fizzled out and I'm feeling like I'm going through the break up again. I think the getting close to someone to have them ripped off me again has caused me some distress. It just tells me that I am not over the split from my long term ex. Take some comfort in knowing we've all been there and I'm feeling pretty rubbish today as well
Author iamenough Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 I cried ALL the time for no reason. yep.. that's me. SUCKS that these things happen, usually in the most brutal and heartbreaking ways. glad i'm not alone on some level.. hope we feel better soon.
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