peezey Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) Hi Love Shack This is going to be a long read! I am 25 years old and have just been dumped for an ex boyfriend. I ended up on here through Google and a lot of the stories and advice on here have helped. I thought I'd share my story to get some fresh eyes and unbiased opinions. Thanks in advanced for the read and response! About one year ago today I ended a two year relationship with a girl that didn't have the best foundation. Long story short she's a liar. I have since moved on and have enjoyed my life on my own. This past Thanksgiving my friends and I decided to celebrate at our usual weekend hangout. A certain girl catches my eye. There is a brief introduction but nothing more. A week or so passes. As part of my career I visit certain stores in the mall to make sure they are performing. As a holiday bonus I decided to treat my top stores with gift cards. As I wait in line to purchase the gift cards a familiar face asks if I need help. It was her! She was really busy and another employee helped me so we did not get to talk but I found her Facebook through a mutual friend (I know stalkerish). We exchanged messages and later asked her to a friend’s party. We practically spent the entire night dancing. After a few dates and getting to know her I realized that I have never met anyone so amazing. Everything about her matched my values and what I sought in a girl. Her family and friends loved me as well mine loving her. I don't remember the last time I was this happy. Fast forward. This were going extremely well and then the ex boyfriend pops back into her life. They once worked together and he started working there again. She assured me there were no more feelings and that she loves me. As a result of my past mistakes in previous relationships I decided to trust this one, not over react, and let it be. Things were still great but I noticed a distance starting to form. This is where i started to get concerned but I let it be. I would bring up her distance but she would only be defensive and shut me out. I never accused her of cheating or being unfaithful as I believe she’s not that type of girl and I never had any evidence either but I kept my guard up. Things started going downhill slowly. One night her cell phone kept going off from text messages from one of her "girlfriends." She was in the shower so she could not get to it. In situations like this she would tell me to read it to her so I figured what's so different this time. I opened her inbox and there were two separate messages from the same contact name. I look at the phone numbers of that same contact and they are different. It turned out that one of those contacts was really her ex. She claimed it was just talking, which it was since I read it. We fought about it and I forgave her. This should have been my cue to leave but I didn't. From that point on my trust in her was never the same. We still continued to work it out but it came to a point where I got the “I need time for myself” speech. So I gave it, and kept limited contact. She would always check in with me and say good morning and good night and that she missed me. On my birthday she surprised me by showing up to my office with presents. She waited until I returned from lunch which made her late for class. At this point I’m thinking maybe we are getting somewhere. It made me feel that she was trying and it felt good. In a stretch of two weeks it was still limited contact but it felt like there was progress. I get a text from her this past Friday at 1:43 pm saying that she loves me. Good sign right? I thought so too, but not really. This past Sunday I get a call from her saying that she will probably regret this for the rest of her life but she is in love with her ex and that she can no longer see or talk to me. She even said that I treat her so much better than he ever will. I said my good bye. Monday morning she is at my front door asking if we could talk. We go to a park and she does not say a word. She tries to be real close to me but I keep my distance. Being human, I eventually give in and we are in each other’s arms kissing. I later stated that she can’t kiss me the way we kissed and tell me you love someone else. I tell her to say what she said to me over the phone to my face so I can move on. She couldn’t… I proceeded to leave but she would not let me go. I finally pry myself away and make my way home. I get numerous texts from her stating that she is sorry and that I deserve better, even lyrics to a song. The iPod she gave back had only one song and it was our song on repeat. I throw everything away and have been in no contact and that’s that. In those two weeks of limited contact I have tried hanging out with other girls. All I thought of was her. Everything that I picture (vacations, outing) I only see her there with me. Her recent actions during the “break” do not match her words. Our kiss that day was not a normal kiss. I felt the love and saw the love in her eyes. I do not believe that she is truly in love with her ex boyfriend. They broke up because he treated her like crap and he eventually will again. I’m in the best years of my life, I have a great career, and have my head on right. I'm not a bad looking guy and from experience it is not hard for me to have a female companion. But why I am so stuck on this girl who has put me second to guy who does not know how to treat her and is a loser (from what i hear). Even after everything I would still take her back. Only for the fact that I know what we once were and what our potential is. It hurts only a little before I go to work since I pass her exit and before I go to bed. I’ve been through heart ache before and I’m ok. I guess what I am asking is do I fight for what I believe in or am I in denial? -Peezey Edited April 27, 2011 by peezey
linwood Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I guess what I am asking is do I fight for what I believe in or am I in denial? You should go no contact. It sounds like it would drive her crazy and she may eventually come around. She sounds confused for some reason, NC might force her to make a choice once and for all. You`d then have to decide what signs you`d need to see to be sure she wasn`t just jerking you around again before you let her back in. Others here could give you a better idea of how to deal with NC in your situation.
Author peezey Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 You should go no contact. Thanks linwood. Its been two days since NC.
Author peezey Posted April 28, 2011 Author Posted April 28, 2011 i really feel like calling her out and telling her she doesn't love this fool... help?
flitzanu Posted April 28, 2011 Posted April 28, 2011 nah. you're not going to convince her of anythign by trying to force it on her. just step back and drop off the planet. go NC and delete/block from fb as well. she said she can't talk to you, so don't let her.
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