! Should I delete ex off facebook now?

[Anna86]

Hi, so I posted here saying how I contacted my ex and I regret it, I asked him if he met someone else, he never wrote back..This was 2days ago......

 

Anyway, today, I had the WORST day at work, it was so hard for me! Nothing to do with my ex, just dealing with a stressful job where a lot is expected from me!

 

So, I felt a bit down in the dumps after...

 

Went home and just looked at my exes fb page.....So, he posted this link to some girl, a funny link, the kind of thing he would send to me. There was flirting involved!! I mean, I feel crushed right now...

 

So, I need some stern advice....I mean, I am taking the time to vent here instead of contacting him or something. I feel I need to delete him from facebook but I don't want to look bitter and I fear I will only add him back which will make me look crazy..

 

Maybe I should just do it......I'm not strong enough to just stop checking it. Will I appear bitter and twisted by blocking him as he never wrote back?

 

So, did you guys delete off facebook? I feel like its the only way I will find out if he is with anyone!

 

My friends said don't delete him as it won't change anything. Confused!

[PegNosePete]

Delete and BLOCK, yes.

Didn't even need to read the message, just the thread title.

[smudge21]

Delete as by keeping him there you're only removing any chance for you to heal and get past this. The temptation to look will be with you every single day and you will look, but what you find will only set you back. We all do it - look for info on our ex's - because we hope to read somewhere that they're maybe not happy or missing us, but be real, we're never going to read that. If they did want us, they'd call, simple as.

 

Word of warning though; once you've deleted him be prepared for that desire to still want to know about him. I did that and went out of my way to find out about my ex. Didn't take long thanks to Google but what I found hurt me more than having her still as a FB friend. Don't make my mistakes.

[radiodarcy]

yes. deleted/block him. your friends are wrong. it may not change his behavior but it will help change the way you feel because you won't have to see it anymore. ignorance really is bliss at times like this.

[Thatguyintx]

Delete and BLOCK, yes.

Didn't even need to read the message, just the thread title.

 

Fully agree!

[Anna86]

Hey!!! Thank you all for your responses!!

 

I decided instead of contacting him (such a stupid thing to do) to vent here.....I can't express how thankful I am for this site!

 

You guys have helped me so much, just the fact that you take the time to respond with such good advice is helping me see the light.

 

I suggest if any of you feel like me, vent here instead!!

 

I promise, I will encourage any of you guys IF you feel the need to contact.

 

I have also found that right after your emotions make you want to text/call, just take deep deep breaths and do ANYTHING else, with a clear head you will feel such relief you didn't break NC!

 

Well done you guys, u are all doing great and an inspiration for us all.....

[JasonRules]

I told you to defriend your ex from FB days ago...

 

Just follow my advice and you will heal faster. Everything you're doing is wrong and this is why you're feeling like doo doo.

 

IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

[reallyconfused2542]

when my last long term blocked me from seeing her page it actually made the healing way easier. stopped me from seeing her face and name every day...

[Anna86]

I have a question about 'ignorance is bliss'....

 

So, if I decide to not hear that he has a new gf? I just stay away and try move on. But then, one month later after all my progress I find out he was with some girl all along? Is it better to know now? I feel it is...That way I can't be shocked!

[betterdeal]

Delete and block, and delete his phone number and email address. I was in a push-me pull-you situation for the best part of a year and it did neither of us any good. I blocked her on Facebook, changed my privacy settings to not show my status etc to non-friends and changed my mobile number two months ago. Since then I have been feeling much, much better.

 

As for what ifs, don't worry about it. He will date other people and so will you. If you're canny, you'll take your time to heal and improve your life now that you don't have to be wasting your energy on a broken relationship, and NOT jump into another relationship so soon.

 

You are free.

[Anna86]

Typical, tonight I was going to delete my ex off fb, but of course he emailed me just before I decided to.

 

He said that he has literally no time for any girl at the moment or any 'nonsense' with that girl I suspected something with.

 

Of course, I will not wb as there is no point at all.

 

At least the air is cleared, if I have to bump into him by accident one night, at least it won't be too nasty. But I will ignore him in any way that I can!

[radiodarcy]

I have a question about 'ignorance is bliss'....

 

So, if I decide to not hear that he has a new gf? I just stay away and try move on. But then, one month later after all my progress I find out he was with some girl all along? Is it better to know now? I feel it is...That way I can't be shocked!

 

knowing for me - - at least would only set me back in my healing. not move me forward. if he was with someone all along then all the more power to you for cutting him out of your life and moving on.

 

i have no idea if my ex is seeing someone or not. but i would rather assume he is with someone than know for sure. knowing is only going to tempt me to seek out details that will only pollute my mind and keep me preoccupied with the two of them. besides, it's not about him it's about me. hopefully if i were to find out that he does have a gf - - i will have reached that point of indifference where it won't matter anyway.

[reallyconfused2542]

i can relate to my last long term (new one is still really fresh) but the best thing was not having fb to look at her. seeing her with what i think was her new bf made me go totally berserk. not being able to see her helped so much

[yessy21]

DELETE AND BLOCK> U will never look at it at him.

[Rose T]

I have a question about 'ignorance is bliss'....

 

So, if I decide to not hear that he has a new gf? I just stay away and try move on. But then, one month later after all my progress I find out he was with some girl all along? Is it better to know now? I feel it is...That way I can't be shocked!

 

 

Anna, hi, how are you?

 

Like you I have been obsessessing about my ex and his new girl. Until now. Why? Because I fancy someone new!! Today I found myself idly wondering if my ex might even end up marrying the woman he's with and feeling totally cool with the idea. Mostly because I then passed onto daydreaming about this new hot guy in my life . Point being, not that you need someone new to get over your ex, but the sooner you get over your ex, the better position you will be in to have more fun. If NC sounds boring, think about it like this: NC is not only the path to healing, it's the path to new, fun, exhilerating experiences. You will meet someone better than your ex, but not until you evict him from your heart. Aim for indifference!

[knathema]

Hey Anna, I am pretty much in the same situation as you. My ex broke up with me a week ago and i found out 2 days ago that she's seeing someone else. The pain is so unbearable but it's reality. I didn't just remove her from fb, i actually deactivated my own facebook because we have about 80 mutual friends together and just seeing her "small" profile icon when posting drives me insane. If you decide to do that, you need to really be ready to let go. That means NC, don't go to his profile, do nothing and keep yourself busy.

[ilovedhim]

Hey Anna, I am pretty much in the same situation as you. My ex broke up with me a week ago and i found out 2 days ago that she's seeing someone else. The pain is so unbearable but it's reality. I didn't just remove her from fb, i actually deactivated my own facebook because we have about 80 mutual friends together and just seeing her "small" profile icon when posting drives me insane. If you decide to do that, you need to really be ready to let go. That means NC, don't go to his profile, do nothing and keep yourself busy.

 

If you BLOCK also you won't see icons, comments, likes, anything. You can always remove the block later.

[2sunny]

I have a question about 'ignorance is bliss'....

 

So, if I decide to not hear that he has a new gf? I just stay away and try move on. But then, one month later after all my progress I find out he was with some girl all along? Is it better to know now? I feel it is...That way I can't be shocked!

 

stop wondering. stop allowing what he does or doesn't do control your level of happiness.

 

delete him. block him.

 

he WILL have a new GF. most men do! know that he will!

 

get busy living. don't look back.

 

and stop asking him anything! he's not gonna answer if he thinks you don't need to know.

 

delete and block- take some of your power back. move forward.

[Kristie16]

I ended up blocking my ex and it has helped. of course, like other people mentioned, I started looking for other avenues. Luckily, he doesn't (and I knew going in to blocking him) that he doesn't have a big online presence. I do find myself looking at mutual friend's pages to see if there's anything, which isn't great, but it's a lot less than I was checking up on him. I haven't seen or come across anything.

 

Although the thing about FB that was nice was that I could keep track of him from faraway. We are definitely going to see each other at a friend's wedding this summer (I'm in it and he's good friends with the bride), and I'd like to know ahead of time if he's dating someone knew or whatnot to prepare myself. I'm a little afraid seeing him at the wedding without any contact beforehand wll be overwhelming. I'm sure we'll both be trying to one up the other, only this time it's in a public setting. But I guess I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

[D-Lish]

When my ex broke up with me I came straight home and deleted and blocked him on facebook. Why would I want to be reminded of him every single day- see what he's doing, seeing him friend other women... It just doesn't make sense to put yourself through that.

 

I am so much happier not knowing what he is doing. I'd be a huge ball of stress if I had to see his face pop up everytime I logged into facebook.

[betterdeal]

Facebook is a window into someone else's life. It's the virtual equivalent to driving past their house and looking in the window to see what they're doing.

[Fufu]

Anna, you should delete him, and also to block him from your facebook.

 

Reason being: Look at his facebook page will only make you feel more depressed. You don't have to look at what he's doing or his photos anymore.

 

Personal experience: Before I decided to delete my ex-bf from facebook, i was stalking him. Every single day, I will look at his page and when i saw that there were new pictures of him with his friends being happy, I felt very depressed and unwanted.

 

I finally decided to delete and block and and today, I no longer have the urge to find out how he's doing.

 

if I can do it, you can do it too.

 

Anna, whether he has a new gf or not no longer matters to you. It's his life. You have your own life to live to the very fullest.

 

This is not the guy you should be feeling depressed and confused.

 

And to all dumpees, please be more realistic. Please don't trap your own life just because of facebook, twitter, myspace and so on and forth.

[Lilmisus]

So what's your motive for staying added as friends? Being able to keep tabs on him? Not removing the connection in case you run into each other again? Keeping things smooth between you? Making sure he doesn't date anyone else?

 

It seems like your only motive is to keep tabs on him, and that is keeping you from moving on. Sure, you only really started to feel pain when you thought he was seeing someone else and when you saw him doing a little flirting with that one chick..but what do you think will happen when he does start dating someone else? It will crush you again, and I don't think that you should put yourself in the spot to have that happen to you again in the near future.

 

I say, send him a friendly message back telling him okay, but that this has made you realize that you're not yet over him, and that you need to take the steps in the right direction to achieve getting over him, and that includes deleting and blocking him on facebook and shooting for NC. I don't think you should just block him because you don't want things to be hostile between you guys if you're trying to leave things on a good foot with him. Plus, he'll probably wonder what's wrong or what's wrong with you if you just block him after messaging him about dating someone else.

 

But definitely block him. It's for the best, even if he isn't seeing someone else right now.

[snug.bunny]

You're obviously still effected by him emotionally, and as silly as the whole "delete person from FB" sounds, you really ought to, because it just hinders you from putting things out of your mind. If you're not ready to "let go" of that aspect yet, try to stay away from FB for some time, until you're feeling stronger, and then decide.