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20% of the people don't care about your problems, other 80 will be glad you have them


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Posted

Out of curiosity, do you agree or disagree?

 

 

I completely agree.

Posted

I'd say my friends care about my problems, probably because I'm very picky when it comes to choosing friends.

 

As for my family and relatives, I'd say 40% care about me and 60% are glad every time I have problems.

 

I don't care what the rest of the people think. :)

Posted

I don't think I agree.

 

If anyone has a problem and mentions it on a message board, lot's of people try to help.

 

Usually in real life, if someone mentions they have a problem to a friend or a family member, they will try to help.

Posted
I don't think I agree.

 

If anyone has a problem and mentions it on a message board, lot's of people try to help.

 

Usually in real life, if someone mentions they have a problem to a friend or a family member, they will try to help.

Of course many people will, but it's a wasted effort if the person does nothing to help themselves most importantly, which I'd know from past experience.. that wasn't directed at anyone in particular, of course.. :cool:
Posted

I don't think people would be 'glad' that others have problems, hmmm I don't know. If they were glad, maybe they're frustrated in their own lives as well.

Posted
I don't think people would be 'glad' that others have problems, hmmm I don't know. If they were glad, maybe they're frustrated in their own lives as well.

Yep. And there are also those that like to feel needed. They usually don't want others to help the ones they supposedly care, only them.

Posted

I disagree. I'm with Perpetual Motions. My friends and family care about me and want to help me resolve my problems. Yes there are people out there who will cheer when I stumble, but they're not important. There are people who don't care and that's just the way it should be. (Why should everyone care about my problems?) I surround myself with people who cheer when I succeed.

Posted
I disagree. I'm with Perpetual Motions. My friends and family care about me and want to help me resolve my problems. Yes there are people out there who will cheer when I stumble, but they're not important. There are people who don't care and that's just the way it should be. (Why should everyone care about my problems?) I surround myself with people who cheer when I succeed.

Exactly.

 

Just want to clarify my comment about the 60% of the family or relatives that I said are happy when I have problems. It's not like they wish bad things to happen to me, but that branch of the family doesn't want others to be in a better place then them. They hate when someone is happier than them. If they have problems, they wish that others have bigger problems.

 

They are also very materialistic. Whatever others have, they must have too, only bigger and better. If they can't have it, they don't want others to have it too.

 

If they're happy that way (I doubt), good for them. I simply don't waste my time with them.

Posted

In terms of family and friends, I disagree. I don't know anyone in my family or friends that don't care. My family would walk through fire to help me. None of them would be glad to see me in trouble.

 

Some strangers are hateful to those who are better off than they are and will be happy to see them fall. However, if you are on equal footing and fall, then they will be sympathetic.

 

But I think most people are good at heart. A small minority are hateful.

Posted
in terms of family and friends, i disagree. I don't know anyone in my family or friends that don't care. My family would walk through fire to help me. None of them would be glad to see me in trouble.

 

Some strangers are hateful to those who are better off than they are and will be happy to see them fall. However, if you are on equal footing and fall, then they will be sympathetic.

 

But i think most people are good at heart. A small minority are hateful.

 

+1 ..........

Posted
Exactly.

 

Just want to clarify my comment about the 60% of the family or relatives that I said are happy when I have problems. It's not like they wish bad things to happen to me, but that branch of the family doesn't want others to be in a better place then them. They hate when someone is happier than them. If they have problems, they wish that others have bigger problems.

 

They are also very materialistic. Whatever others have, they must have too, only bigger and better. If they can't have it, they don't want others to have it too.

 

If they're happy that way (I doubt), good for them. I simply don't waste my time with them.

 

No offense, but they sound really childish.

 

I've never understood the whole keeping up with the Jones's thing.

Posted

I disagree, those "statistics" completely leave out the people who DO care.

Posted
No offense, but they sound really childish.

 

I've never understood the whole keeping up with the Jones's thing.

No offense taken. I'm with you on that one.

Posted

Disagree. Some people care. It's a matter of surrounding yourself with those people. My family couldn't give a rip what is going on with me. Consequently, I don't talk to them much. My acquaintances, they're good people, but we don't really talk much about problems. My close friends, they care and will bend over backwards to help me, and I love them for it. And I do the same for them every chance I get.

Posted

Disagree. When it comes to people who don't know you, I'd say that 20% are glad you have them, 70 - 75% don't care and 5 - 10% will try to help.

 

As far as people who are close to you, it depends on who you allow close to you, if anyone at all.

 

My friends and family do care greatly, as I care about them. But that's not to say they should always be there for every little thing since we're all adults now and have to make our own decisions and take responsibility for ourselves. They're allowed to have a life. :)

Posted

Right now, in the mood I'm in, I'd say of the general public, 60% don't care. "Not my problem" is the general attitude. I'm saying this being the mother of a special needs child who encounters a lot of run-around when dealing with unique challenges.

 

30% care but are not in a position to do anything about it and can only offer sympathy, or worse, pity ("the I'm glad I don't have to deal with that" crowd).

 

About 10% do really care and are in a position to give positive real support, whether it's emotional, financial, legal, etc.

Posted
Right now, in the mood I'm in, I'd say of the general public, 60% don't care. "Not my problem" is the general attitude. I'm saying this being the mother of a special needs child who encounters a lot of run-around when dealing with unique challenges.

 

30% care but are not in a position to do anything about it and can only offer sympathy, or worse, pity ("the I'm glad I don't have to deal with that" crowd).

 

About 10% do really care and are in a position to give positive real support, whether it's emotional, financial, legal, etc.

 

I must confess I never really know how to give support when I am faced with people with ability challenges. I never hesitate to help when they ask for it or when the challenge is obvious (stroller, meet staircase; wheelchair, meet door), but when they don't ask for help, I tend to think they have the situation under control.

Posted

One thing I learned with volunteering for camp with special needs children while in university, was not to force my help. Ask first. "May I help you with x, y, z?"

 

It's okay to allow special needs kids to fail at whatever task they're trying to do. Otherwise they won't learn how to amend the way they facilitate the task or accept their limitations hence be willing to ask for and take help.

 

It's also okay to challenge special needs kids so they learn to enjoy their successes.

Posted

I have sympathy towards people who are in bad situations beyond their control but I admit I have grown cold towards those who keep jumping into bad situations that they had no reason to get themselves in. I am especially cold when they are hurting innocent people around them and don't seem to care.

Posted
One thing I learned with volunteering for camp with special needs children while in university, was not to force my help. Ask first. "May I help you with x, y, z?"

 

It's okay to allow special needs kids to fail at whatever task they're trying to do. Otherwise they won't learn how to amend the way they facilitate the task or accept their limitations hence be willing to ask for and take help.

 

It's also okay to challenge special needs kids so they learn to enjoy their successes.

 

+1 like!

 

Some educators and parents get this so wrong. Just because they're disabled doesn't mean they're subhuman and it doesn't mean they don't have their own standards of excellence to uphold. These kids will often get either coddled and marginalized and it will kill their maturity and self-esteem. Some of my proudest moments are of some learning disabled + socially challenged kids I've worked with. This is why teachers teach; not because they "can't do" -- it's ****ing hard, rewarding work. ****, I need to head over to Personal Rants.

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