AlexiHC Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Something I've been tossing around in my head lately, our society is incredibly shallow. I used to be 250 lbs, I'm 5"10, didn't have much muscle. Used to just get blown off by girls, nobody would really pay any attention to me, kljust your average overweight American Joe. Now last august I started going to the gym religiously, currently a lean 182 borderline 6 pack. Definition in my arms etc, got a haircut. Since these new changes I get treated differenty everywhere I go. Girls that have blown me off are trying to come back around, I can't go out to a bar without drawing dirty looks from other dudes or getting hit on by random women. Almost sickening what losing 60 lbs and getting toned will do. How did we become so shallow?
Darren Taylor Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Society always has been and always will be shallow. I went through the same thing between the ages of 17 and right now(22). In 2005 at 17, I was 5'10" 130 pounds, acne, and just nerdy looking. Now I'm 6'2" 170 pounds, clear skin, different haircut, and the way I'm treated now compared to 5 years ago is night and day.
musemaj11 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 182lbs 5'10 is still rather fat. The perfect weight for your height is 165lbs. Anyway, I think fat looks much worse on men than women. A woman can look curvy with some pounds. But a man with extra pounds is just fat. On the other hand tho, facial attractiveness affects a womans beauty more than a mans.
Vixen Gemma Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Plato didn't talk about beauty for nothing. It's built within us to be attracted to beauty. Though what you see as beauty may not exactly be what I see as beauty. Simple.
USMCHokie Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Almost sickening what losing 60 lbs and getting toned will do. How did we become so shallow? I disagree that it's shallow. Fitness is not just about looking good, but it is a reflection of one's personality and values. People who value taking care of themselves at least to some extent are perceived to value taking care of other aspects of their lives as well as taking care of others. Of course you don't have to go insane with the fitness, but some modicum of value in it can't hurt.
Jazzari Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 It's not even just physical looks in RL but people will even treat you differently based on your avatar. Even when that avatar is not a photo.
USMCHokie Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 182lbs 5'10 is still rather fat. The perfect weight for your height is 165lbs. Disagree...
USMCHokie Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 It's not even just physical looks in RL but people will even treat you differently based on your avatar. Even when that avatar is not a photo. I certainly have to agree with this, based on previous experience...
Darren Taylor Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 182lbs 5'10 is still rather fat. The perfect weight for your height is 165lbs. All depends on body build and muscle mass. BMI for the average individual is pretty accurate. But for those with large bone structures, high muscle mass and athletes, it's not accurate.
Enchanted Girl Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Society is full of shallow people. It's the same with money. You get treated better when you have a lot of it and badly when you have none. I've been poor and fairly well off in my life. I've weighed from 117 - 235 pounds in my life and I know very well that when I have more money and weigh less, people treat me better.
threebyfate Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Most often when people drop that kind of weight, going from obese to fit, their general attitude and confidence level changes. And exercise is great for alleviating stress. So the net result is an overall display of a much more positive personal image which people find attractive.
musemaj11 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 You have no idea what you're talking about. I'm 5'10'' and at 175-180 that's my skinniest I ever get. Muscle does not equal fat and the BMI is a joke if that's what you're going on. Okay that's not really fat. I was exaggerating. I'm just saying that u can lose more. I'm 5'11 170lbs. I'm not fat but I know its still not the ideal weight because I can still see some love handle. Lol
Hules Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) 182lbs 5'10 is still rather fat. The perfect weight for your height is 165lbs. If you have a tiny frame maybe, otherwise no. I'm 5'10 and 180lbs (I have quite a large frame) if I was 165lb I would be literally skin and bones (with ribs sticking out) hell even at this weight I can see shadows of my ribs which is pretty ****ing fugly if you ask me. Like the OP I used to be quite heavy as well, I have a specialist I see and he advises me that I shouldn't lose anymore weight and I agree with him. There is no "perfect" weight for a height range you need to take in other factors as well. Edited April 27, 2011 by Hules
Author AlexiHC Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 Muse, I've found when you don't know what your talking about you should generally not chime in at all. If your 5"11 170 with love handles, pick up some weights your scrawny. There is no such thing as an ideal weight when you add lifting into the equation, I know guys that are my height and weigh 210, 215 with 6% bodyfat, which is the only number you should be paying attention too
Johnny85 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Muse, I've found when you don't know what your talking about you should generally not chime in at all. If your 5"11 170 with love handles, pick up some weights your scrawny. There is no such thing as an ideal weight when you add lifting into the equation, I know guys that are my height and weigh 210, 215 with 6% bodyfat, which is the only number you should be paying attention too You are right on. I did Insanity and lost 4 inches off my waist. I lost a total of 10 pounds. Yet when I added up the total calories I lost during 6 weeks, I should have lost more than 10 pounds. Fact is, I built muscle weight in the process, which weighs more than fat. One should simply look himself in the mirror and use measurements to determine progress and weight.
Hules Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 @AlexiHC To your original question, I can relate to what you are saying I was 323lbs about 6 years ago. The way people have treated me since I lost the weight (took about 2 years of intense training/exercise, diet to lose the weight) is very, very differently. Particularly from the female gender, who if they find out I used to be that weight usually go "Hules, no ****ing way he used to be that big look at him!". So society is shallow yes, then again I'm much more confident and happy than I used to be so I guess that means something as well.
fishtaco Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Muscle weigh more than fat. Plus everyone is different. For athletic people, BMI doesn't make sense. It's only accurate for couch potatoes. I'm 5'10", about 170ish, unimpressive body fat percentage, although not fat. Not happy with my shape. I have to get to a lean 180. But I'm genetically skinny. If I eat when I'm hungry and play sports a couple times a week, my natural weight is 140-145. I got to 170 by giving up sports and only lift at the gym, and sucking down mass gainers in addition to eating more than what I'm comfortable with. Even researched steroids, but decided against using it. Although I did learn a lot about it, and the public perception of it is completely blown out of proportion. And I have the same feedback as the OP. I get more attention from women now. And some of my old friends and relatives that I haven't seen for a while have complimented that I look good. This is how the world works. Good looking people tend to have it easier. Too bad I didn't make this realization when I was younger. I've always thought capabilities > looks. I was wrong. Stole this quote some from some place - Life is a combination of beauty pageant, popularity contest, and blind luck.
threebyfate Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 fishtaco, I have no idea how you look and even though I disagree with some of what you say, you do have something about your attitude that's interesting. You might not have had the same attitude back when you were younger.
USMCHokie Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 ...bodyfat, which is the only number you should be paying attention too Actually, in terms of attraction, studies have shown that the key number for men in general is the shoulder to waist ratio.
orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 seriously, if you don't have nice facial features, even if you change your hairstyle and drop the kilos, does it REALLY make you more beautiful? (this is for ladies). Guys still want us to be PERFECT meaning, nice body, hair hair AND nice features on the FACE. For guys, it's easy. Just lose the fat, get a haircut. Really? What about really short men? What can they do about that?
fishtaco Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 fishtaco, I have no idea how you look and even though I disagree with some of what you say, you do have something about your attitude that's interesting. You might not have had the same attitude back when you were younger. You are right, my attitude has changed a lot. I take it you mean interesting in a positive way? Because I'm assuming the point you're trying to make is that it's not all due to the gaining of muscle mass? If that's the case, then I agree with you. My improved success has to do with everything. Not just my physical body changes. I've made a lot of mental adjustments, and even life style changes. Hence if I can do it, all the whiners on LS can do the same or better. I'm just an average guy. But the same can be said of the people that have lost weight. Is it the superficial looks? Or is it the confidence that came with knowing they're in better shape? It's really difficult to measure. But all I can say is, I believe it made a difference. Even if it's just a placebo effect. And at the end of the day, if it works, it works. I'm not going to complain. And as far as the "larger" perspective of the importance of looks, I've seen the same even outside of dating. Good looking people get higher pay, and treated nicer. It works in the corporate world as well. Looks and connection can get you very far. I'm not saying capability is not important (if that's the part you disagree with), but I'm saying it's lower on the importance list.
mogul Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 182lbs 5'10 is still rather fat. The perfect weight for your height is 165lbs. Anyway, I think fat looks much worse on men than women. A woman can look curvy with some pounds. But a man with extra pounds is just fat. Okay that's not really fat. I was exaggerating. I'm just saying that u can lose more. I'm 5'11 170lbs. I'm not fat but I know its still not the ideal weight because I can still see some love handle. Lol What are you talking about? I am 5'11 and 180-185 and in great shape. I don't have any love handles, nor a belly. I am actually pretty lean, I just have a big frame. I am not bulky, just lean. It really depends on your body type, and whether you are skinny or muscular. Muscle weighs alot more than fat.
Ross MwcFan Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 If your physical change has gained you confidence, it could also be that that is making people treat you differently too. But yeah, it's a shame that the way people get treated depends on how they look.
PerpetualMotion Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 You are right, my attitude has changed a lot. I take it you mean interesting in a positive way? Because I'm assuming the point you're trying to make is that it's not all due to the gaining of muscle mass? If that's the case, then I agree with you. My improved success has to do with everything. Not just my physical body changes. I've made a lot of mental adjustments, and even life style changes. Hence if I can do it, all the whiners on LS can do the same or better. I'm just an average guy. But the same can be said of the people that have lost weight. Is it the superficial looks? Or is it the confidence that came with knowing they're in better shape? It's really difficult to measure. But all I can say is, I believe it made a difference. Even if it's just a placebo effect. And at the end of the day, if it works, it works. I'm not going to complain. And as far as the "larger" perspective of the importance of looks, I've seen the same even outside of dating. Good looking people get higher pay, and treated nicer. It works in the corporate world as well. Looks and connection can get you very far. I'm not saying capability is not important (if that's the part you disagree with), but I'm saying it's lower on the importance list. Looks may open more doors, create more opportunities, but gets old after a while, if that's the only thing a person has. I have a friend that isn't pretty, average height and definitely not thin, but she has a great personality, very extrovert, strikes conversation with anyone in any situation. She never had problem having dates with good looking guys. She's currently married and very successful professionally. Her sister is the opposite of her: beautiful, tall, thin, shy and has a bit of a defeatist attitude. She's nowhere near as successful in dating as her sister was and, as far as I know, she only had 1 bf so far. IMO, although looks are important, personality is more, especially in the long run.
fishtaco Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Looks may open more doors, create more opportunities, but gets old after a while, if that's the only thing a person has. I have a friend that isn't pretty, average height and definitely not thin, but she has a great personality, very extrovert, strikes conversation with anyone in any situation. She never had problem having dates with good looking guys. She's currently married and very successful professionally. Her sister is the opposite of her: beautiful, tall, thin, shy and has a bit of a defeatist attitude. She's nowhere near as successful in dating as her sister was and, as far as I know, she only had 1 bf so far. IMO, although looks are important, personality is more, especially in the long run. That's only one data point. Plus it's not unsurprising. We are our own worst enemy. We are the most capable at holding ourselves back. As in the pretty sister's case. The pretty sister probably would reach the same amount of success with less effort. But with no effort, no one is going to get anywhere. One of many articles you can find on the internet: "Good-looking men and women are generally judged to be more talented, kind, honest and intelligent than their less attractive counterparts," says Patzer. "Controlled studies show people go out of their way to help attractive people - of the same and opposite sex - because they want to be liked and accepted by good-looking people." http://www.careerbuilder.com/Article/CB-312-The-Workplace-Do-Pretty-People-Earn-More/ Google it, and you will find many other articles that talk about the same thing.
Recommended Posts