whoknowswhattodo Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 This really hurts and it gets worse everyday. I'm loosing hope
loverboy1984 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Hey Im in wk 6...No its not easy. I came out of a 6yr relationship with someone I was in love with, and was dumped a month before the most important exam I will take in my career. I cried everyday for the first 4wks. I had the pain in my chest. Im getting better now. It may look stupid but here are things I did to help me: -Went NC immediately -Defriended her on FB so I dont see her and she doesnt see me. Then I deactivated it so I dont waste time on it and risk seeing her comments since we have 50 mutual friends. -Deleted her number -Cried -Got angry -Yelled and told myself someone who does this doesnt deserve me. I did this in solitude not in public. -Grieved - Wrote many letters to her but saved them and NOT sent them. just so I can get my feelings out on paper. -pulled out and empty chair and pretended she was there and told her whats on my mind. -Talked with friends and family. -Got familiar with logic as I tried to not think emotionaly -went to a psychic ( this was crazy but Id never done it before and needed some kind of answer and closure) - Thought about a better life without her -looked at how I could be better - Blamed myself then instead acknowledged my flaws and vowed to work on it. - Hung out with friends. -Partied -Went to the beach and spent time outdoors -Studied ( because I have to ) LAST BUT NOT LEAST Came on Love Shack. People here really help you see things clearly. I now look at people who are sad a desperate sounding and its sickening when I think that I sounded like that to people a few weeks ago. Its annoying actually. You have some very good commentators here. Try to keep your mind off. Its easier said than done. I was having relapses up until last week. JUST KNOW YOUR BEST DAYS ARE AHEAD OF YOU and your worst will be behind you. DONT CONTACT THEM. its hard not to at first and you get the urge but then it becomes fun as you try to see how much longer you can hold out. We are here for you. Dont worry about your ex, dont wish them bad, and dont care if they are not hurting as much as you. The heart doesnt break evenly. Love cannot be persuaded or pursued, but it can only be proven and provided naturaly. That is what you want. Love yourself and others will love you. Hang in there
ummike26 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Good advice loverboy. I can definitely identify with what you've been going through. I handled my situation the same way. I immediately went NC and erased every sign of her out of my life. Its the only way I can be productive and sane.
loverboy1984 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Your going to get the urge to spy on them or see what they are doing but let me tell you this. If you see them happy chances are it will make your pain more. And I bet that they are much happier than you are, because obviously they dumped you. So dont go looking at what they are up to unless you like pain. We are afraid of the unknown. When you walk into a dark strange room you think of a million bad things in their waiting for u. With that in mind you are walking into that unknown right now. You dont know what your ex is thinking, why they did it and what they will do next. Do they hate you? did they ever love you? will they come back? are they going to regret it? these are questions you ask because your walking into the unknown. You will probably give yourself the worst answers and feel more pain. Just dont think of it. If you do try to atleast be numb to the pain. The bright side is you were just dumped into a pool of much better looking, much higher quality and better people. You have a chance at something better. be happy this happened now instead of later. Be happy that you dont have blood on your hands and didnt break someones heart. be happy that you came out looking better. Dont start dating other people, dont hook up and dont try to fill the void. Enjoy yourself, your freedom and get your confidence back through self fulfillment. Be strong. If you cant be strong prentend to be. sooner or later you will buy it.
Fufu Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Ride through every roller coaster moods, you will only become stronger and better.. there's no turning back. Move forward.
Recommended Posts