Miss TT Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 As previously stated in my other post - my ex and I have been brokenup for about four months now. Plenty of silly fighting in the last few months etc The last four months it has been plenty of back and forths between us and one lunch catch-up etc Two week ago I decided to just leave him be (No Contact) and see if that may work, and if it may get my head clearer (no it has not) or make him realise somthing (misses me or not) the last of his texts were him pretty much saying that he is so confused, scared etc Basically he sounded tired of all the hurt we have both been going through. Anyway, point to this is, am I too late to do the no contact approach when already there has been four months of what has been advised NOT TO DO?? So lost right now....
sandman223 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 its never too late for NC. NC is not about letting your ex clear his/her head so he can think clearer and realize he misses you. Yes that may be a result, and I feel people hope that will happen in the long run. But NC is about you getting your life back and moving on without your ex. If your ex eventually realizes he lost out and misses you, you can come to that bridge when you cross it.
Fufu Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 It's never too late to move on... however the longer you delay, the more you will be stuck in the past.
Author Miss TT Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 I guess the truth to it all - is I just want him back. I know that NC is more for my progress then the 'happy ending' But I dont think I want to 'move on' which is the biggest problem of them all. I think all I want is for him to see that 'we' deserve a second chance. I honeslty cant say that our reasons for breaking up are/were un-fixable. They awere minor issues which multiplied due to lack of compromise which I see now. so i guess my question after this would be how can I make him see that we deserve another chance. And that i truly have changed, (to even my own shock) he is a little older and more set in his ways and he has told me a few times (post-break-up) that he is finding it so so hard to believe that someone (me) could change so dramatically. and i get what he is saying - i have changed dramatically, even to my own surprise. How can I show him this without putting pressure on him or pushing him further away.
Fufu Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) Ironically speaking, if you choose not to move on, the chances he will come back is 0. Reason being, because you are just going to dwell over him all the time and unable to move forward in your own life. You don't need him in your life, you don't need him to give you the happiness. True happiness always come from ourselves first whether you are attached, married or single. And even if we really want our exes, our exes must share the same thoughts as us, so that the relationship can blossom and walk the journey together. If 1 partner doesn't see that this relationship is workable, no matter how hard you try to maintain the relationship, it will never work and you will never feel happy. You need to walk away and that's the best. It has to be HIM to realize that this relationship with you is workable. P.S. I too believe my previous relationship totally 100% deserve a second chance too. BUT, my ex doesn't feel it. He told me he knows we can work things out but he still feel we will always meet the same problems again. So what do I do? I move on because I'm not going to wait around for him. I will never know if he will ever realize that this relationship is always workable. If he doesn't realize it in this life and I'm still stuck in the past, I am the ONE doing myself injustice. I am accountable for my own life. Same goes for you. It's your life from day 1 when you are born. We all change, everyone changes. And that's fine. You don't have to self blame everything on yourself. Edited April 27, 2011 by Fufu
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