What do I make of this? :/

[megnoggle]

Hello, all! I'm brand new to this site, and this is actually my first post, so if I make a faux pas please bear with me ^^ Thanks!

 

Ok. My story. I'll call him Chris, even though it's not his real name.

 

Chris and I have had somewhat of an on-and-off romantic history. We began as good friends three summers ago, and when it turned into feelings, we both awkwardly stopped speaking to each other, minus the text every few months, always initiated by me (but he always responded well to them). I would always catch his eye in school, and he had even told one of our mutual friends that I was "so funny." Two summers ago, he started things up again by randomly texting me out of the blue. It culminated one late July night when he confessed his feelings for me and talked wanting to hook up with me. Naturally, I was delighted, until he stopped answering my texts completely not long after that. Needless to say, we went another school year without speaking. Fast forward to two weeks ago; I was in the midst of dealing with the shocking and unexpected suicide of a beloved friend and former classmate of mine that had occurred the day before. When an old high school enemy apologized to me for our past, I was convinced that there really was no reason I couldn't do the same with Chris.

 

IF YOU WANT TO SKIP THE BACKSTORY, START READING HERE.

 

I sent him a Facebook message apologizing for anything I might've done to hinder our friendship. I also told him that despite the long period we had gone without any contact (I'm a college freshman, he is a high school senior), I still cared about him. I never used words that might've hinted at a romantic relationship between us, since truly nothing like that had ever materialized. He responded with gusto, even giving me his number. I gave him mine, and he texted me the next day asking how I was and such. Repeatedly he told me how "we should hang out this summer." We both talked about how excited we were to be going to the same college next year. We both discussed how we would see each other at the wake and funeral of our classmate. When I saw him the morning before the wake, he shouted my name and ambushed me with a long, tight hug. We began talking like old pals, much to my amazement (considering nothing like this had every happened before). I was amazed at how easy the conversation flowed between us. He gave me another tight hug before I left. Later in the day at the wake, he saw me crying from afar, and I caught him looking at me about five times. After that, in a circle with six of my friends, he gave me another long, tight hug in front of everybody. He gave his close friend/prom date a hug too, after me, but we were the only girls he hugged.

 

THEN, at the funeral the next day, I was waiting outside the church afterwards, obviously quite sad. He saw me and gave me yet another long hug and I began to cry in his arms. He whispered soothing things and whatnot and when I pulled away our faces were inches apart. He created small talk and such and asked me what I was doing now yada yada and I told him I was just going home, since I was so sad. He understood and then gave me a FIFTH long, tight hug. The last thing he said to me was "I'll be thinking of you."

 

So this past weekend I came home for my Easter break. I texted him saying we should hang out, and he was down for it. He told me to come up with something. I texted him the next day asking if going to a local trail was okay. He said he loved that trail and that we would coordinate times tomorrow since he was working until 3. At 4:30 the next day, which was a Saturday, I hadn't heard from him, so I texted him asking if we were still meeting up. He texted me back an hour and a half later apologizing because he had fallen asleep and therefore forgot. Then he asked me if I would be home on Monday (yesterday). I said yes. He never texted me yesterday. So, WHAT DO I MAKE OF THIS? Do I give up hope? Do I keep holding on? Ugh.

 

Also, sorry for the unbelieveably long post. I would really appreciate it if you could read it and give me your thoughts :/

Edited April 26, 2011 by megnoggle

[soulm8]

Meg, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

 

As for Chris, you've done your part. It's time to get on with your own stuff and see if and when he contacts you.

 

Please keep in mind that he's blown you off and choosing to let you wonder. Would you do that to someone you care about? Would you do that to someone you have romantic feelings for?

 

Hugs

[megnoggle]

Thank you. And thanks for the advice. It's really frustrating because depsite his flakiness he really IS such a good person, which is why I don't understand why he would do something like this. Ugh. I guess that's romance for ya.