orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 1. Big mistake, but I'm glad you learned your lesson. Delete the account on PoF before it destroys your confidence. 2. Online dating is all about making them laugh in the beginning. Early chats, email, and first dates have to be humor based for most of the girls I've encountered. They seem to really hate serious and boring like the plague way more than girls I've met offline. Joke about everything and you're way better off than telling them about your job, education, and so on. They really don't seem to care all that much about that stuff. 3. Pay sites are better, but they have much fewer members. If I do online dating again, it will be mostly pay sites. The free ones are a woman's world and you better be a fit, athletic, rock climbing, sky diving, marathon running, social butterfly if you're going to get messages from most of the attractive women and even average girls. If you can pull it off, I salute you. Sage, you are right. I have found that on dating sites, if you have low self esteem, it might worsen it mountainfolds. For one, you are putting yourself there among hundreds or thousands of other people of the same gender which means 'competition'. Not that it doesn't exist already outside the virtual world but online just makes you feel it even 'more' when you do not get a response from the email you sent or hardly anyone sends you a mail or winks at you after seeing that you have 'such and such visitors' to your profile. You start to think "Oh they looked at my profile but never wrote to me, what is wrong?" Some people also think that online dating is better because it does not put so much pressure on the individual to act a certain way or in other words to 'perform'. But on profiles, the FIRST thing that people look at is your photos. That is 90% of what will make them reply to your email or write to you. Secondly, people will also look into what you are doing with your life right now- if you have a job, what kind of job it is, etc without even really knowing you personally. And yes, it all boils down to the presentation of your profile which are the photos and the content AND the person 'behind' this profile. Meaning, who is he? Is he doing 'well' in life? Or just in a brooding mode, struggling to make ends meet etc? It can just be very discouraging but I did come across one or two people on the dating site (but they are also in a bad spot in their lives) who were nice enough to chat with me whenever and encourage me. (they live miles away).
Sabali Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Are you offering to bake them? Can you bake Neiman Marcus cookies? They're the best. I do meet a lot of people online when I go out. I just don't want to date anyone in their 20's. Guys in their 30's don't usually approach me. Do you think the women that would even need a dating site were fake profiles? Or something else. Seriously! You get that far and you still don't say it. Those cookies better be damn good. I would bake you fabulous cookies! I won't bake you cookies with another man's name on them so you can just eat these Saba cookies that I am stocked up on. Here kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...
irc333 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I got one for you, straight from a recent POF experience. This woman I contacted, must've written a really well thought out email, she responded with actually wanting to meet in person, like for something to drink or something. So I responded back, "Sure, we can make arrangements to meet, how about I get you're # so we can make arrangments" Anyhow, I didn't get a response for a couple of days, but I kept seeing her sign into POF a few times. I followed up asking if she recieved my email, and she said she did, and said she found someone else she was getting to know and wanting to see how that would go, and wish to discontinue are plans to meet and stop correpsondence. Obviously a rude move on her part, so I replied in kind saying how rude she was to ask me out, and then all of a sudden do that 180. Of course, she didn't respond, because she knew she was wrong. Funny, how she had in her profile she was expecting to be treated like a lady, but I guess it okay to treat someone else disrespectfully. I do have to admit though, I was able to successfully get one of them to meet me....but is a big challenge to move from pen pals to phone or the "face to face" It's like pulling teeth...or they vanish. A friend of mine was starting to set up a dating profile on POF. I was at her house during this time helping her. She had everything placed in, other then a photo. Regardless of the fact that she had no photos she was still mailed by numerous men. Most of the messages were like this: "Can I see your facebook?" "Hi do you want a FWB?" "Do you have any photos?" "Are you interested in me, I bet you're cute!" Along with one rude male asking her if she wanted a intimate relationship. When she replied that she was not interested, he then mailed her back calling her foul names, and telling her that she did not belong on this website. Best part? On his profile he described himself as a "Sweet, nice guy who is caring." :rolleyes: Oh boy, did I have a laugh when reading that description. Is anyone else experiencing this disrespect? I don't understand how anyone can continue to use these websites when there are so many sad people on them. It's ruining it for the good people who really are there to make a connection.
Johnny85 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Sage, you are right. I have found that on dating sites, if you have low self esteem, it might worsen it mountainfolds. For one, you are putting yourself there among hundreds or thousands of other people of the same gender which means 'competition'. Not that it doesn't exist already outside the virtual world but online just makes you feel it even 'more' when you do not get a response from the email you sent or hardly anyone sends you a mail or winks at you after seeing that you have 'such and such visitors' to your profile. You start to think "Oh they looked at my profile but never wrote to me, what is wrong?" Some people also think that online dating is better because it does not put so much pressure on the individual to act a certain way or in other words to 'perform'. But on profiles, the FIRST thing that people look at is your photos. That is 90% of what will make them reply to your email or write to you. Secondly, people will also look into what you are doing with your life right now- if you have a job, what kind of job it is, etc without even really knowing you personally. And yes, it all boils down to the presentation of your profile which are the photos and the content AND the person 'behind' this profile. Meaning, who is he? Is he doing 'well' in life? Or just in a brooding mode, struggling to make ends meet etc? It can just be very discouraging but I did come across one or two people on the dating site (but they are also in a bad spot in their lives) who were nice enough to chat with me whenever and encourage me. (they live miles away). Hey OrangeLady, Have a look at my online profile once: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Stylemania?cf=regular I would say approximately 3-5% of everyone I message sends me a response. And I don't think I am aiming too high. As you can see from my pictures, I am not overweight. What do you think? Do I come across as too nice in my profile summary? lol:laugh: Since you mentioned that 90% is about looks, Okcupid people are either really, really picky, or very attractive (considering I receive a response rate between 3-5%). hahaha:p
orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I found out that many of the women have issues themselves on those sites. As a girl, trust me, it is not just women with issues on these sites. I have chatted with a few men from OKC and I find that most of them have issues too. I chatted with one admitted to having 'head problems'. And then another guy who had a really nice and mature profile, personally admitted to me that actually, he has commitment issues and that he was previously engaged to a girl but broke it off and it really hurt her. He said she was a very nice girl, and nothing was wrong with her, but he was just freaked out. (all this was not mentioned in the profile). Another one whom I chatted with was a guy who had just been getting treatment at the hospital because he was madly in love with his roommate but she did not feel the same way and he even said he found himself holding a knife to his arm one day. And another one told me he is on OKC because he is in love with a woman who is already in a committed relationship and just wants to find someone to 'forget' her. So there....
PhillyDude Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I got one for you, straight from a recent POF experience. This woman I contacted, must've written a really well thought out email, she responded with actually wanting to meet in person, like for something to drink or something. So I responded back, "Sure, we can make arrangements to meet, how about I get you're # so we can make arrangments" Anyhow, I didn't get a response for a couple of days, but I kept seeing her sign into POF a few times. I followed up asking if she recieved my email, and she said she did, and said she found someone else she was getting to know and wanting to see how that would go, and wish to discontinue are plans to meet and stop correpsondence. Obviously a rude move on her part, so I replied in kind saying how rude she was to ask me out, and then all of a sudden do that 180. Of course, she didn't respond, because she knew she was wrong. Funny, how she had in her profile she was expecting to be treated like a lady, but I guess it okay to treat someone else disrespectfully. I do have to admit though, I was able to successfully get one of them to meet me....but is a big challenge to move from pen pals to phone or the "face to face" It's like pulling teeth...or they vanish. You should have asked her if she liked oral sex just to be a Smart A** after receiving that retarded message
PhillyDude Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I sent a pretty girl a message on Saturday an she just resonded tonight so I guess sometimes no quick response is not a sign of no interest.
irc333 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 About online dating in general though...I've noticed across 3 or 4 dating sites, when I do about a 50 mile radius search, I think I've seen the SAME faces across ALL the sites. Some of them who have been on the site (sometimes on and off) for years. Each year, some seem a bit bitter or frustrated as they update their profiles accordingly as their frustration ramps up. My advice to the, get off the site(s), they're expectations are unreasonably high because they're never satisfied on who emails them and probably never will be. Either that or simply relocate to another location, physically. There was this one woman that was so irritated, that she actually made a list of screen names of men that contacted her, apparently she thought they were jerks, so she posted a wall-of-shame list in her profile.lol
soulm8 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 There was this one woman that was so irritated, that she actually made a list of screen names of men that contacted her, apparently she thought they were jerks, so she posted a wall-of-shame list in her profile.lol Wow! I bet that really made you wanna say hello!
Sabali Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 As a girl, trust me, it is not just women with issues on these sites. Well, why did you edit my quote like a news anchor woman? I also said: I found out that many of the women have issues themselves on those sites. The men do too I am sure I can't speak on the men too much since I only date women, therefore, I wouldn't know much about their online dating behavior.
Disillusioned Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I don't understand how anyone can continue to use these websites when there are so many sad people on them. It's ruining it for the good people who really are there to make a connection. The dating service operators don't care as long as they get their money. I daresay if they really wanted to make sure they were dealing with quality people, they'd send their local reps out to visit applicants, just to make sure they are who they say they are. That way, the male lechers and female teases wouldn't get in (they'd have to start their own sites). I wonder what we're going to be thinking when we're 80 and alone and we look back on all the totally useless games we played when we were younger and DUMBER.
orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 There was this one woman that was so irritated, that she actually made a list of screen names of men that contacted her, apparently she thought they were jerks, so she posted a wall-of-shame list in her profile.lol hahahahahahhaha okay well I was on this other site where they literally put someone's criteria of match on their profile. I couldn't believe some of the things that these guys wanted. For example, on that site, you could rate yourself as "Average, Attractive or Very very Attractive" and you could list what your match should be and NEVER have I seen any guy check the "Average" box, but always "Attractive and Very very Attractive". Also when I see the weight preference of their match for these guys, it starts from being 40kg. *omg* that's what my niece weighed when she was 12. Anyways. Just a laff there.
orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Well, why did you edit my quote like a news anchor woman? I also said: lol I can't speak on the men too much since I only date women, therefore, I wouldn't know much about their online dating behavior. oh sorry didn't see this one.
Disillusioned Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 The thing that is starting to gross me out online is women who are 47 and older checking out my profile. At 34 I have no interest in anyone 47. LOL!!! She must have played HTG and ended up not gotten! Poor thing probably feels like the Easter egg that nobody found! There was this one woman that was so irritated, that she actually made a list of screen names of men that contacted her, apparently she thought they were jerks, so she posted a wall-of-shame list in her profile.lol Ooooooooo!!! Now THAT sounds like MY kind of woman---a one-woman mafia!
orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Ooooooooo!!! Now THAT sounds like MY kind of woman---a one-woman mafia! What you could do, irc333 is to hook Disillusioned up with this lady.
NicoleM Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I will say this about those dating sites most of the men I encountered have one thing in mind can I get in your pants the first date or they flat out say hey you want to hook up?? There is nothing wrong with sex but come on you haven't even met the person and you already want to hook up or you went out on a date and they expect you to jump in the bed with them? I get it we all want sex but whatever happened to waiting for awhile like maybe a few more dates perhaps??
Disillusioned Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I will say this about those dating sites most of the men I encountered have one thing in mind can I get in your pants the first date or they flat out say hey you want to hook up?? There is nothing wrong with sex but come on you haven't even met the person and you already want to hook up or you went out on a date and they expect you to jump in the bed with them? I get it we all want sex but whatever happened to waiting for awhile like maybe a few more dates perhaps?? No, those guys are junkies who need their sex fix so they won't go into withdrawal and get the DTs. They can die from lack of sex, you know.
Nexus One Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) They don't even know what this woman looks like, yet they are anxious to bed her! Well I can clear that mystery up for you. A guy once told me he would f*ck everybody and everything, as long as it had a hole in it. All I can say to you that he demonstrated this point on multiple occasions. The guy was absolutely shameless. That's another thing I noticed about players, they have no shame whatsoever, they would do absolutely anything you call them bluff on, no matter how outrageous or dangerous, they are absolutely without shame and fear. Guys like that are not uncommon. So there you go. Edited April 27, 2011 by Nexus One
Author Rinnix Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 Well I can clear that mystery up for you. A guy once told me he would f*ck everybody and everything, as long as it had a hole in it. All I can say to you that he demonstrated this point on multiple occasions. The guy was absolutely shameless. That's another thing I noticed about players, they have no shame whatsoever, they would do absolutely anything you call them bluff on, no matter how outrageous or dangerous, they are absolutely without shame and fear. Guys like that are not uncommon. So there you go. Thats just plain scary. I am glad that I have not been involved with men like this.
PhillyDude Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I never understood how some could have sex with anyone. Sure sex feels good but doesn't it feel different with someone who is good looking? Some guys are just plain nasty. I can't have sex with a ugly woman
Author Rinnix Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 I never understood how some could have sex with anyone. Sure sex feels good but doesn't it feel different with someone who is good looking? Some guys are just plain nasty. I can't have sex with a ugly woman What do you define as ugly?
PhillyDude Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 What do you define as ugly? Someone who doesn't "LIGHT MY FIRE"
Author Rinnix Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 Someone who doesn't "LIGHT MY FIRE" Fair enough.
irc333 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I know of some men that use internet dating as a great way to "Tom cat" around and be elusive. THere was this one guy that had a "girlfriend" about an hour or so away from him geographically, in each direction. Not one woman knew about them, at least the time, and I think one woman caught on. Thats just plain scary. I am glad that I have not been involved with men like this.
Professor X Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 http://www.razorbackit.com/Images/edating.jpg
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