Rinnix Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 A friend of mine was starting to set up a dating profile on POF. I was at her house during this time helping her. She had everything placed in, other then a photo. Regardless of the fact that she had no photos she was still mailed by numerous men. Most of the messages were like this: "Can I see your facebook?" "Hi do you want a FWB?" "Do you have any photos?" "Are you interested in me, I bet you're cute!" Along with one rude male asking her if she wanted a intimate relationship. When she replied that she was not interested, he then mailed her back calling her foul names, and telling her that she did not belong on this website. Best part? On his profile he described himself as a "Sweet, nice guy who is caring." :rolleyes: Oh boy, did I have a laugh when reading that description. Is anyone else experiencing this disrespect? I don't understand how anyone can continue to use these websites when there are so many sad people on them. It's ruining it for the good people who really are there to make a connection.
ReadyforLove Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 LOL, that's so funny. I created a profile awhile back (without a photo) and was surprised by all of the messages I received. Like, really, why would you want to correspond with someone that doesn't have a pic on their profile? It was just odd to me and really creeped me out lol.
Author Rinnix Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Exactly! It made me think that these men likely just had bad intent. Who does that? They don't even know what this woman looks like, yet they are anxious to bed her!
Jazzari Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 LOL, that's so funny. I created a profile awhile back (without a photo) and was surprised by all of the messages I received. Like, really, why would you want to correspond with someone that doesn't have a pic on their profile? It was just odd to me and really creeped me out lol. I did the same thing. Not only didn't I have a photo, there was no information on it at all except that I was female. It was slammed with invitations. I hated PoF. I liked Match much better.
Author Rinnix Posted April 26, 2011 Author Posted April 26, 2011 Is there more of this attitude on free dating websites? Or is it the same for ones you need to pay to use?
sagetalk Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Plenty of Fish is dead to me. I am a young, successful, educated, tall male and the girls on there would blow me off like I was a hobo (overweight girls, mean girls, ugly girls, pretty girls all of em'). I've had success on other sites, but PoF is a nightmare for guys. I guess girls have the other side of it like getting stalkers and weirdo's. I really dislike that place.
Sabali Posted April 26, 2011 Posted April 26, 2011 Plenty of Fish is dead to me. I am a young, successful, educated, tall male and the girls on there would blow me off like I was a hobo (overweight girls, mean girls, ugly girls, pretty girls all of em'). I've had success on other sites, but PoF is a nightmare for guys. I guess girls have the other side of it like getting stalkers and weirdo's. I really dislike that place. I found out that many of the women have issues themselves on those sites. The men do too I am sure but after a brief stint, I came to the realization that online was a bad place to add juice to your dating life. They make for good dating nightmare stories though. There is nothing..nothing...like meeting someone in real life. After my last couple dates which involved one woman with a dark secret and a married woman looking for a FWB, I gave up completely. The married woman didn't let me know she was married until after we met up. What a shame.
Author Rinnix Posted April 27, 2011 Author Posted April 27, 2011 I found out that many of the women have issues themselves on those sites. The men do too I am sure but after a brief stint, I came to the realization that online was a bad place to add juice to your dating life. They make for good dating nightmare stories though. There is nothing..nothing...like meeting someone in real life. After my last couple dates which involved one woman with a dark secret and a married woman looking for a FWB, I gave up completely. The married woman didn't let me know she was married until after we met up. What a shame. I have found that on two of the free dating sites I've encountered (OKC & POF) there have been multiple men to harass my female friends who were members. It has tainted my view of dating online. You honestly never know what you are going to get from either gender.
january2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I'm not sure if it has anything to do with location or age range but most of my interactions online were suprisingly pleasant and I had lots of interesting and worthwhile conversations. Most of the guys I talked to were professionals, intelligent and sincere. Online dating sites (OKC anyway) definitely weren't the monster I thought they would be. As an aside, before deciding to join OKC, I lurked on the POF forums and browsed a few profiles on the site but didn't join because the site didn't appeal to me.
NicoleM Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 OKC and POF are jokes. My experience has been nothing but heartache.
sagetalk Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 There is nothing..nothing...like meeting someone in real life. After my last couple dates which involved one woman with a dark secret and a married woman looking for a FWB, I gave up completely. The married woman didn't let me know she was married until after we met up. What a shame. Yeah, there are a lot of married and divorced with kids (dad still in the picture) women on there. No thank you. For me, almost all of the online relationships have been an hour drive or more which is tough. The dates usually take place in unfamiliar areas, and small towns. Tough road to walk, I have big time respect the guys that pull it off.
daphne Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 There is nothing..nothing...like meeting someone in real life. After my last couple dates which involved one woman with a dark secret and a married woman looking for a FWB, I gave up completely. A) Some of us don't meet age appropriate men who are unattached, have their acts together and looking for a relationship when we're out shopping (or even at bars to be honest.) 2) You can't mention the deep dark secret and not spill!!
Johnny85 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I recently became single and decided to sign up with PoF. Two words, absolutely horrible! I would send messages to women and not even get a single response. Same thing goes for OKC, although with a slightly improved success rate. Just like someone above mentioned, I am well educated, successful, tall, European (although living in the U.S.), and have not had much success on online dating sites. Although, I did meet my former girlfriend on a music website (Livedaily:laugh:). Perhaps when the intention is not romantic, more women have their guards down. Any guys who have had success on pay sites?
TokyoG33kyGal Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 i think you can filter people who can send you a message in PoF if i remember correctly. i just ignore those messages (but i rarely get them). i was able to get one decent date in PoF but i was so jaded by the whole dating deal here that time so i took down my account.
Sabali Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 A) Some of us don't meet age appropriate men who are unattached, have their acts together and looking for a relationship when we're out shopping (or even at bars to be honest.) 2) You can't mention the deep dark secret and not spill!! I understand Daphne. Come over and we can talk about it over milk and cookies. Do you like the ones you bake on your own or what? Hey, I know that in some areas it is tough meeting folks in real life but I just have to say that the online dating thing just is no joke. I first got curious about it after I stumbled upon this site. I wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. At first, I was really suspicious because I was meeting all of these women that I was wondering why they would even need a dating site. I gave it the benefit of the doubt and I just was seeing some things that made me give up on it relatively quick. As far as that dark secret goes, I ain't sayin nuttin!
sagetalk Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 1. I recently became single and decided to sign up with PoF. Two words, absolutely horrible! I would send messages to women and not even get a single response. Same thing goes for OKC, although with a slightly improved success rate. 2. Just like someone above mentioned, I am well educated, successful, tall, European (although living in the U.S.), and have not had much success on online dating sites. Although, I did meet my former girlfriend on a music website (Livedaily:laugh:). Perhaps when the intention is not romantic, more women have their guards down. 3. Any guys who have had success on pay sites? 1. Big mistake, but I'm glad you learned your lesson. Delete the account on PoF before it destroys your confidence. 2. Online dating is all about making them laugh in the beginning. Early chats, email, and first dates have to be humor based for most of the girls I've encountered. They seem to really hate serious and boring like the plague way more than girls I've met offline. Joke about everything and you're way better off than telling them about your job, education, and so on. They really don't seem to care all that much about that stuff. 3. Pay sites are better, but they have much fewer members. If I do online dating again, it will be mostly pay sites. The free ones are a woman's world and you better be a fit, athletic, rock climbing, sky diving, marathon running, social butterfly if you're going to get messages from most of the attractive women and even average girls. If you can pull it off, I salute you.
Sabali Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Online dating is largely a exercise in filtration. Then once you have filtered, you are still wondering how what you are left with got past security. Hey, a good friend of mine met his current wife on a pay site and I really like her. I even hosted them at my place for a weekend and we had a blast and I vacationed at their place for a week and had another blast. I even dated her sister for a bit so things can happen on the site but just don't expect it to happen to you. That is where the trouble comes in...when you expect things to happen to you.
Johnny85 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 1. Big mistake, but I'm glad you learned your lesson. Delete the account on PoF before it destroys your confidence. 2. Online dating is all about making them laugh in the beginning. Early chats, email, and first dates have to be humor based for most of the girls I've encountered. They seem to really hate serious and boring like the plague way more than girls I've met offline. Joke about everything and you're way better off than telling them about your job, education, and so on. They really don't seem to care all that much about that stuff. 3. Pay sites are better, but they have much fewer members. If I do online dating again, it will be mostly pay sites. The free ones are a woman's world and you better be a fit, athletic, rock climbing, sky diving, marathon running, social butterfly if you're going to get messages from most of the attractive women and even average girls. If you can pull it off, I salute you. Well, I most certainly am not a fit, athletic marathon runner or any of the above mentioned criteria, but I am not overweight either. I look like Prince William. Yet I have a hard time getting responses from women who are less attractive than I am. I think it has to do a lot with there being more men than women on these sites. Women are approached by a lot of men online, so their selection is better. It is kind of sad, but I feel like I have a better chance of finding a date at a bar, completely schloshed, than I do sending a sincere and clever message online. lol:laugh:
sagetalk Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 That is where the trouble comes in...when you expect things to happen to you. Good heavens man! No need to get down on yourself. Finding a girl online is doable but you have to know what you are doing, and be in the right place at the right time. Get that garbage thinking out of your mind. Online dating is tough work, but don't take it out on yourself.
PhillyDude Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 The thing that is starting to gross me out online is women who are 47 and older checking out my profile. At 34 I have no interest in anyone 47.
Sabali Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) Good heavens man! No need to get down on yourself. Finding a girl online is doable but you have to know what you are doing, and be in the right place at the right time. Get that garbage thinking out of your mind. Online dating is tough work, but don't take it out on yourself. What? I wasn't even referring to me. I wasn't looking for anything long-term at all. My stint with online dating was just one of curiosity and I was due to move out of the area I was in during that time anyway. In general, I am not interested in commitment. Like I say, it is fine for some people but I think it is the minority of people who want a long term relationship from online dating will find it. So let me rephrase my statement: Don't expect too much from it. Just to just date and have fun. If you are looking for easier sex then by all means try out online. I encourage to step up the social activity in a non-online way if you can. I find that online dating vs. real life dating are two different worlds with real life dating winning by a knockout. That is just my view. It is not meant to offend the online dating enthusiasts. Edited April 27, 2011 by Sabali
daphne Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I understand Daphne. Come over and we can talk about it over milk and cookies. Do you like the ones you bake on your own or what? Hey, I know that in some areas it is tough meeting folks in real life but I just have to say that the online dating thing just is no joke. I first got curious about it after I stumbled upon this site. I wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. At first, I was really suspicious because I was meeting all of these women that I was wondering why they would even need a dating site. I gave it the benefit of the doubt and I just was seeing some things that made me give up on it relatively quick. As far as that dark secret goes, I ain't sayin nuttin! Are you offering to bake them? Can you bake Neiman Marcus cookies? They're the best. I do meet a lot of people online when I go out. I just don't want to date anyone in their 20's. Guys in their 30's don't usually approach me. Do you think the women that would even need a dating site were fake profiles? Or something else. Seriously! You get that far and you still don't say it. Those cookies better be damn good.
sagetalk Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 but I feel like I have a better chance of finding a date at a bar, completely schloshed, than I do sending a sincere and clever message online. lol:laugh: I would say you are right. The key is, don't let them get you down. Being an attractive guy online is a difficult task. Looks and wit are only a small part of it. Just introduce yourself to them, if they give no response, let it go.
orangelady Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 Strange. I had a profile on OKC back in 2008 or so with no picture and got no messages.
Johnny85 Posted April 27, 2011 Posted April 27, 2011 I would say you are right. The key is, don't let them get you down. Being an attractive guy online is a difficult task. Looks and wit are only a small part of it. Just introduce yourself to them, if they give no response, let it go. Thanks Sage; I liked the advise about introducing humor into the equation.
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